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Buddy Boy

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by Berrybeats, Aug 24, 2013.


  1. Berrybeats

    Berrybeats PetForums Newbie

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    Hey guys, I'm new!

    We had a Bull Mastiff called Buddy! When we first got him, I wasn't happy! My husband was supposed to be buying a tattoo, but here he comes with this puppy! :thumbdown:

    I moaned about him allll the time, hairs getting every where, getting in my feet, eating my cons! :yikes: But he grew on me and I grew to love him, dare I say, like one of my kids.:001_wub:

    We used to dance together in the kitchen (would make everyone laugh!), he would always lay by me, even if I went up stairs he came with me. I said he would never get in the bed, but you know what? He gave the best cosies so why not!

    He was great with our four kids, he was my youngest's (he was 4 at the time) best friend. They play around the house, chasing each other. He would just lay on the floor and let my son roll all over him, he was such a beautiful and loving dog.

    Until one day my husband was taking him for a walk and a young girl (abt 3/4) came up to him from the side to pet him. Well he'd never bothered about this before, he loved attention and especially from kids. We really don't know what happened or what caused him to do what he did. But he bit her :eek::eek:. He bit her bottom lip and scratched her face with his paw...almost like he was scared/spooked!

    The poor little girl had to have an operation to ensure the inside of her lip didn't get infected (he didn't bite right through thank god!!). The police then charged my husband with the dangerous dog act and advised us we had to rehome him, due to the little girl living in our street, or put him down. The only places we were allowed to rehome him with was the kennel/rescue home or not at all. We tried everyone we could, but no-one would take him saying "once they've done it once they'll do it again".

    How can my gorgeous sweet dog do such a thing? and why were we now faced with the most horrible decision?!

    When the day came and my husband took him to the vet to put him to sleep. I couldn't go, I just couldn't watch such a horrible thing happen! On the day, he was so happy, playing around in the garden and giving me cosies....I just kept thinking "I wonder if he knows? Will he hate us?"

    I miss him so much I cry almost every day! The guilt I feel over letting him down is unbearable! Our kids think he's on a farm somewhere and ask of him often. I can bearly choke out a sentence back to them. I think my husband is coping in his own way, after all it was his dog. But I have never lost anyone in my life and in all honesty didn't expect losing Buddy to hurt this much. Most of the time I actually feel sick, like an empty sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach!

    I've slept for 4 hours last night, because I keep dreaming about him. My dreams are so vivid too, I actually wake up and my hand still feels like I had been petting him.

    Am I just being silly and need to get over it? It happened nearly 4 months ago! When I go out jogging I go past the tree we scattered his ashes, sit for a moment and just sob! This can't be good! My house feels horrible without him in it, like it's empty! there is 6 of us here, this just seems so silly!

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    #1 Berrybeats, Aug 24, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2013
  2. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear Buddy and under such tragic circumstances. You are suffering so many emotions over his loss and four months isn't really very long to recover from losing someone so close to you. You also have added guilt of why it happened plus not tellng your children the truth. The first time you lose a pet is always terrible and it never gets any better. Don't make it worse by thinking you should be over it, that's not true. We have lost a friend this week as well, our beloved cat, and not long after losing another one four months ago, and believe me, I haven't got over that yet either. Like you, although I look fine on the outside, inside my heart is sick with grief and I cry a lot for both my cats, it seems as if everyone else just moves on but you can't, not yet. Buddy will not hate or blame you, that's a human condition, not animal, and you were given no choice. Try to think about good times you shared more than the recent bad things, talk to a pet bereavement service if you feel you are struggling. I've been making a photo book of my Maisie and putting a memorial online. I have lost many pets over the years, a few, like Maisie and Buddy, in very tragic circumstances but I have learnt you cannot let each death consume you and eat you up with the unfairness of it all, you have to accept these things are out of our control and nothing can change things or bring them back so try to celebrate their life, not get engulfed in their death. Buddy is still with you always in your heart and, if you believe, in spirit. Don't worry about how long it takes, your heart will heal and one day you will be able to smile when you think of him and what you shared. RIP dear Buddy.
     
  3. Berrybeats

    Berrybeats PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you for your very kind words Charity. It is very much appreciated :)

    I feel I can't talk to my husband about these things, because it was his dog and I don't want to seem like I'm being insensitive!

    I genuinely didn't think that a dog would have such an impact on my life or be missed half as much as he is. I love to think he's with me, it's kind of comforting! I would just be devastated to think he hates us for what we had to do. Because if we had any other choice, we would have taken it!

    Other than the obvious I have not one bad memory of him :) I think a lot of my tears are happy ones, because he was just daft as a brush! He made us happy and laugh every day and for that I'm so thankful. Just so cruel the circumstances.

    I like to think that one day I wont sob at the thought of him, as even right now I'm typing through tears :( I believe even if we were to get another dog in the future, nothing will ever compare to him. He really has set a standard and a high one at that!

    I'm sorry to hear about your cat :( I love your idea of a memorial :) Not sure I can do that with him yet, looking at a picture just breaks my heart :( Maybe one do though!
     
  4. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    Have you thought that perhaps your husband would like to talk about Buddy? Perhaps because he can see you are unhappy and the situation with the children, he keeps quiet. You know what men are about opening up. If you tell him how much you are missing him, that might kick off a conversation and you could talk about the good things. Or, even ask him if he would like to talk about Buddy. If he says no, you've tried. Sometimes because everyone keeps quiet and its awkward, this makes it worse. You could suggest when he feels up to it that you do some kind of memorial together.
    I talk about the cats all the time, even though I know my OH isn't feeling the same, I expect it goes in one ear and out of the other, he seems to be able to get over things in a few days and move on. We have an elderly sick dog by the way so I know what a dog means to you.
    Buy yourself a book about pet bereavement, it does help, I'm reading one at the moment, there are lots on Amazon.
    Just in case this helps too, there is someone who can talk if you want
    Blue Cross - Pet loss
    Stay strong.
     
  5. dogandbone

    dogandbone PetForums Member

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    What a tragic incident, I'm so sorry for your loss. One can only assume he was spooked and reacted to that. You're not being silly, don't ever think that, it's perfectly natural to mourn the loss of any pet. It affects different people in different ways, and it will take as long as it takes. I have lost quite a few dogs over the years, most recently back in May this year, and not a day goes by without me thinking about every one of them.

    What's important is that you keep Buddy in your heart forever and treasure the happy memories you have of him xx
     
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