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Being judgemental

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Cleo38, May 26, 2010.


  1. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    This is a forum, people are allowed to air their views & be judgmental. There's some people that should be judged as they're not fit to own animals.
     
  2. GoldenShadow

    GoldenShadow PetForums VIP

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    Whilst I agree in regard to the bit about animals, I believe no one has the right to judge another person. They can judge their actions but judge a person, for me, that's not right. I don't think anyone will ever really know who I am or what has made me 'me', let alone people on here where I probably come across as completely different anyway :)

    I think judging people can be very damaging to some. I think judging actions is completely different but we don't know the person behind the writing to know what may cause them to act how they do on here...I think there are 1 or 2 people on here who actually have a vague understanding of who I am but even then it is only very vague and would still be very easy for them to pass judgement incorrectly, so I just avoid the big judgements like that altogether as I don't think they do any good to anyone really.
     
    #2 GoldenShadow, May 26, 2010
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  3. rocco33

    rocco33 PetForums VIP

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    Well, I have no idea what has prompted this thread (if anything has), but I think there is a difference between using one's judgement and judging someone. The former is essential in life, the latter no one has a right to do.
     
    Waterlily and Mum2Heidi like this.
  4. SpringerHusky

    SpringerHusky PetForums VIP

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    The thing is this is the internet we will never know the full story so in the end the people being judged often are being judged wrongly. In the end instead of judging and attacking people if you stop and try to help them and offer advice taking things down a better route then in the long run things are better.

    I have enough locked threads to know how many people I upset and angered, but there was people who stuck around and gave me advice people who were nice to me. I have since apologized for my actions and have tried my best to continue to care for my wonderful pets. Now I had people telling me to get rid of my dogs because i'm a bad owner and it was very hurtful, it made me cry because I loved my dogs. On the other hand people instead gave me links, support etc and from those few people i've bettered myself.

    This is a forum, yes but it is also a community and we all love our pets and people who join do love pets but often don't have a real clue on things. This forum provies a great education on people who don't know or can't cope with things.

    Don't judge a book by it's cover and life is far too short to spend all of it hating someone, instead I just pity them because they obviously have no understanding of animals the way people here do.
     
  5. catz4m8z

    catz4m8z PetForums VIP

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    People really shouldnt post threads like these. Its totally pointless coz either no one will know what you are on about or those people currently having a hissy fit will use it to start another arguement. It will be quite rightly banned.

    Whats wrong with PMing people you have a problem with or just informing the mods??:confused:
     
  6. rona

    rona Guest

    This is a forum yes, but this is a forum rule:

    This is a site which enjoys the company of members from all over the world. While healthy debate is encouraged, please have the courtesy to respect the views of others. Please do not use obscene or offensive language, or engage in personal attacks or "flaming" of other members. This will not be tolerated and Pet Forums staff will be entitled to suspend users accounts.


    Pet Forums Community - FAQ: Pet Forums Rules
     
  7. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    I only wish that were true. I agree that everyone makes mistakes but there has been so many posts form peole who obviously make mistake after mistake, take no advice & then act upset when they are criticised.
     
  8. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    I think it's only human to judge and in some cases it's justified but for the most part I think we should keep our opinions to ourself until something really needs to be said.
     
  9. GoldenShadow

    GoldenShadow PetForums VIP

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    But what good can we do on a forum? When a lot of people hurl insults or just share their displeasure all the person will do/think is be pushed further into their current way of thinking and convince themselves that everyone on here took a dislike to them and that we aren't listening too.

    Its a place to politely advise but its not our human right to judge other people. There are things I have done in the past which I look back and cannot believe I did, I am ashamed by them, incredibly so. But at the end of the day I have learnt from them.

    Even if people know they are wrong they often go great lengths to convince themselves they are right and everyone else is wrong. So lots of people on here judging them will make no difference to them at all. For some however, who are incorrectly judged, it could have quite a serious impact.

    I find it much more easy to step back from a situation and realise I was wrong, than I would if 10 people had a go at me and told me so in angry messages like I have seen happen whether justified or not.

    Therefore I think people are best left alone on a personal level.
     
  10. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    I know I'm quite bad for it & maybe I shouldn't but I do get so upset when time & time again I read posts from people who make no effort, collect animals like they're stamps or for a few months before the 'problems' start so the animal goes .... no options considered, no re-training, just want reassurance or justification from others that it's ok, they've 'done their best' ...maybe I should just stop reading before my blood begins to boil ... it just makes me so sad as well as angry :frown:
     
  11. rocco33

    rocco33 PetForums VIP

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    Well it was proved the other day that a lot of good can be done. There were those who protested at posts on the thread about a certain dog recently rehomed via this forum. It was those members that pushed that found out the truth behind this member - if everyone took the 'only say anything nice' approach it's doubtful anyone would the the wiser and that poor rescue would be a money making stud for the member who supposedly rescued him.
     
    #11 rocco33, May 26, 2010
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  12. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    Really? That is good news!!
     
  13. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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  14. Aurelia

    Aurelia PetForums VIP

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    That had been done a couple of times, but nothing has been done. I understand why, but I'm just saying it doesn't always work.

    I think I probably caused this thread, so I'm sorry if it's getting people backs up. However let me quote what I tried to say in the last one, but when I hit submit it was closed... just to clear something up :)

    I'm sorry if anyone feels annoyed or upset by what I started. I do have a habit of typing first and thinking later when something happens with something I am passionate about.

    Sorry!
     
  15. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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  16. rona

    rona Guest

    It wasn't people attacking that sorted that but the tenacity of one member who did some off forum investigating :rolleyes:
     
  17. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Sending you a pm now :)
     
  18. rocco33

    rocco33 PetForums VIP

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    I wouldn't call it attacking, and there were many who knew things didn't add up. By persisting with it, people started questioning things....
     
  19. GoldenShadow

    GoldenShadow PetForums VIP

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    If you look at it, one out of about the several hundred members who viewed that thread actually did the right thing whereas many read to know what was going on and others just got angry which was of no use. So that one person did help but the vast majority of others didn't actually help just shared their opinions which is fine, but IMO didn't do any good (nor bad I doubt).

    Its not a matter of oh its a forum lets not bother, its a matter of surely as mature people we can go about things in a more level headed and sensible way as opposed to getting angry and then not being taken at all seriously.
     
  20. rocco33

    rocco33 PetForums VIP

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    I don't think it has anything to do with getting angry, just that it is important to have balance. Being fluffy and never pointing out that there may be something wrong is just as wrong as a thread detriorating into insults.
     
    Cleo38 likes this.
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