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Asking for advice.....

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Sleeping_Lion, Jun 21, 2010.


  1. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    Nope, I'm not, but across quite a few forums, I've noticed that some people, when asking for advice, seem to want a certain answer, and exclude advice from people they possibly have gained a dislike to, even though they've never met them (that I know of) in real life. It's interesting when you read threads, and see that certain advice/questions are completely ignored by people who've posted. And I wonder why they ask for advice or opinions in the first place, when they ignore experienced people and/or sometimes appear to be downright rude to them. Just wondered if others had noticed this, and if you're someone who would ask for advice, is there anything that would put you off accepting advice from someone?
     
  2. rona

    rona Guest

    I think a lot of the time, it isn't to do with who they like etc. but more about what they want to hear.
    The ones that get me are the ones who post an important question and never come back. Are they just here for the attention??? :confused:
     
  3. SpringerHusky

    SpringerHusky PetForums VIP

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    I'm with Rona on this one.
     
  4. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    What like, my dogs have just *accidentally* mated, please can someone take all the hard work off my shoulders and tell me how/what to do so we can sell lots of puppy type questions :D:D:D Then everyone tells them about the mismate jab and the bu$$a off........
     
  5. JANICE199

    JANICE199 PetForums VIP

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    If i needed advice i would have to choose who i asked,which i think is a shame.People's views and oppions differ so much on open forums and i've learnt you cant ask or get a lot of the advice you want or need.
     
  6. Burrowzig

    Burrowzig PetForums VIP

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    I've noticed it. And if you once respond with something they don't want to hear, any subsequent postings on any subject are ignored.
     
  7. Spellweaver

    Spellweaver PetForums VIP

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    Like you, I'm not speaking about this forum in particular, but about forums in general.

    First of all, posters of threads: I think there are some posters who genuinely want advice, and will take on board what has been said and be grateful for the help given. There are some posters who just want confirmation that they are doing the right thing and get upset when they don't get that. There are some posters who have a bee in their bonnet about a particular issue and want to sound off about that issue - they are not really interested in any replies other than those who agree with them and usually get abusive to those who argue cogently against their issue. And lastly - and this is the reason I join forums - there are the posters who are genuinely interested in the issues regarding the subject of the forum, and are happy to debate wihtout getting snide and personal to people whose opinions differ.

    Advice given by other posters: I have been very grateful for all sorts of advice given on all sorts of forums. The sort of things that would put me off accepting advice is a poster being condescending or patronising, someone who states their own opinions as facts, or someone who is abusive.

    ETA - Just thought of another kind of poster I would be wary of taking advice from - the kind of poster who thinks that reading a couple of articles on the internet makes them an expert in that subject! :eek6:
     
    #7 Spellweaver, Jun 21, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2010
    swarthy likes this.
  8. flufffluff39

    flufffluff39 PetForums VIP

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    I read every answer I get and thank them normally :) I have been given answers I don't like but theres always gonna be something you don't want to hear!!! If you don't like the answer why ask the question:confused1: Great post by the way a very valid question :thumbup:
     
  9. Spanish

    Spanish PetForums Junior

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    I'm new here but this already annoys me. I answered one poster with a 'problem' puppy and am left wondering how they are getting on.
     
  10. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    Sometimes though, it's hard to know how the person is giving advice, it can appear to be condescending, depending on how you read it. And if someone's rushing to post something before they get on with a bit of work, that might come across as a bit short and possibly rude. So I think anyone posting a question needs to understand that there is possibly a lot more behind the short bit of typed reply than they perhaps realise. And they also have to accept they will attract the attention from all kinds of people, from those who have no real knowledge at all but just post anyway, to those who have oodles of knowledge, although that might conflict with someone else with oodles of knowledge, as nothing is always quite that straight forward.

    Thanks fluffluff, I hope in asking the question itself, that perhaps people think beyond how they initially interpret a reply. It's so easy to form instant *opinions* about other internet users, based on short replies on a forum, when really you hardly know anything about them at all, and you don't usually get people replying and telling people why they think they're qualified to answer.

    I usually pm people for advice that I know will have the knowledge I want, not that I've accidentally let my two dogs mate btw ;)
     
  11. daisy34

    daisy34 PetForums Member

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    I think that this is a really good post and question.
    There are always going to be such a wide variety of people on forums such as this one who are all looking for different things to get out of the forum.
    The forum is fantastic and although im very recent to making postings of my own ive been looking on here for a while, the advice is top class and I do feel that I could come on here and ask anything, and ive certainly learned a great deal. Peoples needs and opinions will always differ. especially where there is an open forum with lots of different people, experiences and personalities but the diversity is what creates such a great talking stage.
    It makes me very grateful to have the internet!:)
     
  12. Horse and Hound

    Horse and Hound PetForums VIP

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    I ask for advice, a lot, as I'm a new puppy owner.

    I hope no one thinks I ignore them as I try to take as much on board as possible, just want the best for Roo!
     
  13. CarolineH

    CarolineH PetForums VIP

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    There will always be those who ask for advice then pick the advice to take that is easiest and most convenient rather than take the right advice. But that is their choice. When I see that start to happen on a thread I then withdraw and leave them to it. Can't help those who don't want to learn! Got better things to do with my time and energy than waste it on people who don't want to know.:cool:
     
  14. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    I certainly don't think you ignore people, I don't always post on your threads asking questions because you have already been given good advice, but when I do, I notice you always read through and respond in some way ;)
     
  15. hutch6

    hutch6 PetForums VIP

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    Some people take it and some people leave it. That's how advice works. You either take what you want to hear or you get told what you don't.

    What it all boils down to is that we are trying to get the best for the animal not the owner which is why some training or behaviour changes can take a long time. I guess some people may just want to click their fingers and get a quick fix.
     
  16. Olly's Mum

    Olly's Mum PetForums Member

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    I think like someone else said they know what they want to hear and when it doesnt happen they dont like it.

    Im another one who asks a lot of questions however i do appreciate every answer and try to take any advice onboard.
     
  17. Tanya1989

    Tanya1989 PetForums VIP

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    I think, like Rona, its down to human nature. Especially when it comes to something like the breeding section, or even in some "problem" type questions for instance if someone recommends you rehome a dog.... blank... then they run for the hills because they don't want to hear it.

    My favourite one is when people by a dog and bitch puppy at the same time from different breeders then decide they want to use them as a breeding pair :rolleyes:, because they aren't related :rolleyes:. You can offer as much advice as you want, as much knowledge as you have, but still, these 2 puppies are definitely the best possible match and I'm going to do what I want etc :rolleyes:.

    I'd love to say there's always one, but it seems like there is a hell of a lot more than one :(.

    I've also noticed, like Spellweaver mentioned, there are an awful lot of "experts" on here. One in particular claimed to have 26 years in the breed, when in actual fact turned out to be younger than this :thumbup:. Or someone who claimed to said they had been in the breed for 30 years, when actually what they failed to mention was that they'd had 2 dogs of the same breed 30 years apart, with many different in the middle. I don't know about everyone else but I consider "years in the breed" to be consecutive years, or if you have a break, you don't count these years in between where you were without them.

    Moral of the story: take what is said on internet forums at face value.
     
  18. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    I hope I'm quite open about my lack of years and experience, I always post I'm a pants handler whenever I give advice, it's from the pants handler perspective, that I can spot another one :lol: I can't understand why people try to make themselves out to be something they're not, maybe we should precede any advice a bit like the AA, my name's Joanne, and I'm a pant's handler, but this is what I would do .......... :lol::lol::lol:
     
  19. rocco33

    rocco33 PetForums VIP

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    I agree with Rona, I think some people only want to hear what suits them, and when they don't like some of the answers, they either object or disappear.

    I also take your point that the validity of advice can vary considerably from those with real knowledge and those who just have opinions based on little experience and knowledge. Hopefully, most can filter this out, but again, there are those who will take the advice that they find convenient rather than the best.

    I completely agree with this, but that is the nature of forums.
     
  20. Tanya1989

    Tanya1989 PetForums VIP

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    Lol, I'll start a nw thread... watch this space!
     
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