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Asking for a cat back that I rehomed?

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Elsie197, Mar 15, 2021.


  1. Elsie197

    Elsie197 PetForums Newbie

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    Sorry this is long but I want to include details that are relevant to why I would want him back.

    2 month ago I rehomed my beloved 18 month old cat, binx for Free. At the time I was going through a break up with my partner of 6 year and was left with 2 cats, a dog and a toddler. The two cats were fighting all the time, or more so I felt like Binx was being bullied by my older cat. I was also in the process of moving house after realising I couldn’t afford the house I was living in with just my wage. With my life in turmoil I figured if I was going to rehome any of them it was best to do it before moving home so that they weren’t going to go through so much change so quickly, leading to a rushed rehoming process. My older cat stayed because I didnt think he’d cope as well as Binx, who is very loving and docile. I found a lady that lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere and thought he’d have the best life there. She had an 8 month old cat who she was looking for a friend for, she told me she had no other INDOOR pets so I thought I was doing the best thing for him.

    However, when I got there she came to the car and I walked up to the door with her, holding the carrier. After I said I wanted to home check I thought we were both going to go in but she stopped at the door. I put it down to COVID stupidly. When asking for an update 2 weeks later she said that he didn’t like her original cat but they were getting better.. I figured he’d just need more time. Then I saw her post in a cat group on Facebook a video of her original cat and a new 8 week old kitten, she stated she has those two cats and was asking for advice on how to get them to play gently but there was no mention of Binx. I messaged her and asked if she still had Binx, to which she blocked me, giving me instant red flags. I posted on the same group saying I was looking for his whereabouts. The admin of this group messaged her and sent a screenshot to me of the woman saying she still had Binx but he didn’t like to get involved/play with the other cats which again was a big red flag. Even with my much bigger cat who “played” very roughly he still couldn’t resist getting involved, so even if that was true I’d question whether he was happy there. Admin also asked for some photos of Binx, to which she never replied.

    All of these red flags led me to searching every social media site she has, and it turns out that she’s very pro fox hunting and has a pack of fox hounds living on her property. I, personally, would never have rehomed him there if I’d known this. I don’t want to go too much into it given the already lengthy post but I just wouldn’t have let him go there if I had known.

    2 month down the line and my life has settled down, my older cat is actually a lot more chilled and happier in himself. My last home had lots of cats in the neighbourhood which leads me to question whether the bullying/ overly rough play from my older cat was actually redirected aggression toward Binx as a result of seeing other cats around the house. But realistically they were left in the house when I went to work etc and nobody was hurt, so I think during those tough times everything seemed more serious than it actually was if that makes sense? My point is, I believe I could integrate him back into the house and things might be a lot more chill.

    If I felt like Binx was better off then I wouldn’t consider asking, but at this point the hostility and outright blocking me has lead me to question whether she even has him anymore... and if she doesn’t then where is he? I checked his microchip and none of the details were swapped over so he’s still under my name, which I don’t think stands for much but i don’t know why she wouldn’t update the details?


    Again, so sorry for the long scattered post but ultimately my question is, would it be stupid/rude/irrational to ask if she’d consider letting me have him back? And saying I’d be willing to pay for him? I just want to know he’s safe, I miss him so much and it’s one of my biggest regrets ever. I also think it would be a good test to see if she actually still has him because everything seems off and shady. Even some up to date photos/proof she still has him would be enough to ease my mind I’m so worried. What’s the best thing to do in this situation?
     
    queeniz likes this.
  2. Miss Molly Harte

    Miss Molly Harte PetForums Junior

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  3. Miss Molly Harte

    Miss Molly Harte PetForums Junior

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    Dear Elsie,
    I think you have every right to try to get Binx back. I understand very much, that you miss him. I also think if you are in any doubt about this, get in touch with your Blue Cross people near to you and put them in the picture. You didn't ask for any money, she wouldn't or did not invite you to check out where you were living your beloved pet and when she blocked you, I would have been very worried as there should be no reason whatsoever for her to do that. Finally the microchip has not been re-directed or changed in any way, which suggests to me, this was a "cat" to her and not a pet and everything points towards her being far from who you wanted looking after your furry baby.
    You said how much your life had changed now, as well, so I would not waste any more time, get in touch with Blue Cross or whoever you know that would help, or find out who will help you, so you have support and back up, hopefully they may even offer to act as go between, or have had similar cases in the past. Whatever else, they will have knowledge and be able to offer the right help and support.
    I wish you every good luck with this, please do not give up without a fight, you are not dragging your baby out of the arms of someone who is attached, or cares, whereas you should never live with regret, it is the most relentless emotion you can have. Good luck again and if you want to message me, I think I would get a notification via my email. I will keep my eye out on this thread dear furry baby lady. x
     
    queeniz likes this.
  4. Tigermoon

    Tigermoon PetForums VIP

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    There is a lot to take in here and I am aware that this is only one side of the story, but firstly as she's now blocked you, how do you intend to reopen conversation to potentially ask if you could have Binx back? While you could just turn up at her house she could tell you to leave, and if you persist could find yourself getting a visit from the police and be no further forward. You relinquished ownership of Binx so can't demand she return him. Sadly a lot of owners don't deem updating the details important and the details recorded against a microchip aren't accepted as proof of ownership either.

    Just because Binx played at your old house doesn't mean he will happily play with a different cat, in a different house after just 2 weeks; in fact this would be exceptionally rare. Perhaps she thought the two adult cats would get on, discovered they didn't so got the kitten. How many times have you messaged her regarding Binx?

    You also need to consider that your other cat has probably settled down because he now lives alone in a quiet house without another cat and so feels a lot happier in that space. After two months of separation, and particularly as they didn't get on very well before the chances of him welcoming Binx back is dicey to say the least.

    While I have no doubt that none of the above will be what you want to hear, you do need to be realistic.

    It is also a very salient lesson to anyone reading why you never, ever give an animal away for free, particularly to someone who contacted you on social media.
     
  5. pennycat

    pennycat PetForums Senior

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    I know it’s too late now but in the future please please give a cat up to a rescue and not a random person online. Good luck - but who knows what’s happened to Binx :(
     
  6. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    By all means try but you can only ask.Then just pray she will listen and actually your cat is still somewhere there.
     
  7. Summercat

    Summercat PetForums VIP

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    @Elsie197
    I hope Binx is ok but you should never give a cat or kitten away for free unless you know the person. Anything can happen and people lie. He may have been used as bait for dog fighting or other sad fates.

    If no photos of Binx and only of two other cats, it seems he is no longer there.
    Best case she sold him to a loving home. Cats and dogs have been selling for lots of money lately, so hopefully she only sold him on and he is in a new home.
     
  8. Natrc

    Natrc PetForums Newbie

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    I don't see why you cannot try and get Binx back, it's definetely worth giving it a go. Just make sure you don't get yourself into trouble (i.e. harassment/trespassing) in the process.

    This is another sad case of giving a well loved pet away for free. Unless you do extensive checks (which is very tough to do), you never know what the person is going to do to your cat.

    My mum was in a difficult situation when we were younger. We had to re-home our 2 cats and 2 dogs at short notice after being made homeless and not being able to find anywhere that would take pets. Our days went to rescues and were rehomed to lovely families, but we gave the cats away to a lady my mum found online. After a few weeks we got wind she had mistreated previous animals and by the time we got back in touch with her to get them back and give them to a rescue she had "sold them on" - so she made a profit off our two family pets. And this is a better scenario than the latter which is cats being sold for dog bait/fox hunting. Please please in the future always surrender pets to a reputable rescue.
     
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  9. Elsie197

    Elsie197 PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you for your replies. I certainly don’t intend on going to her house. My plan was to ask the admin to message her and ask her to unblock me to talk or ask her themselves if she didn’t want to talk to me. Unlikely to have any luck in that regards as she’s ignoring admin now and obviously has me blocked.
    Ultimately I want to know what’s happened to him if he’s not still in her care. If I find out he’s safe and happy then I’m willing to put it down as my mistake and lesson learnt.
    In regards to giving him away for free, I never thought I’d rehome an animal never mind for free. A couple of people offered money in exchange, but from the information I gathered about everyone I thought she seemed the most mature and could give him a peaceful life on a farm away from dangerous roads/city life. It was obviously a bad decision
     
  10. Elsie197

    Elsie197 PetForums Newbie

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    I didn’t really think about it I’ll give the blue cross a ring tomorrow and just ask for some advice. Thank you! X
     
  11. Natrc

    Natrc PetForums Newbie

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    We all make bad decisions in life, many of us have on here including myself have been in similar positions or made other bad decisions and that's why we give the advice we do, and in the future you won't make the same mistake. I really hope you find out what happened.
     
    Calvine likes this.
  12. Miss Molly Harte

    Miss Molly Harte PetForums Junior

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    I hope you get some support, I have had cause to use the Blue Cross, they were amazing!! Good Luck doll x
     
    Calvine likes this.
  13. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    He could have got out and gone walkabouts; in this case, as the chip is still registered to @Elsie197, if he gets handed in as a stray, he should find his way back to her. Maybe she had a friend who wanted a cat and thought she'd get one for them. She clearly did not keep him herself if he was not around after two weeks. Who knows? He is clearly not still at the farm he was handed in to and I doubt the person who took him will be willing to discuss anything. What a sad story..
     
  14. Sel

    Sel PetForums Newbie

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    Just go to her house with someone
    Say you want the cat back and if she calls police say she stole your cat and suspected used it as dog bait
    They will then check her out

    I hope he’s okay
     
  15. Teddy-dog

    Teddy-dog PetForums VIP

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    Wow that is a bit harsh!! And untrue! You can’t accuse someone of stealing and dog fighting, to the police when there is 0 evidence and you actually gave them the cat.

    OP the best way is to try and open some dialogue with the new owner via social media or you could ring/text her. Unfortunately, when you sell, or give away, an animal you can’t dictate what happens to it after that. Or demand it back. It’s up to the new owner whether they want to rehome the cat back to you. Just because there are no photos of the cat doesn’t mean that it’s no longer there. I rarely post pictures of our cat on social media but that doesn’t mean she isn’t loved and cared for. She just likes her own space for snoozing and doesn’t really like a camera in her face!
     
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  16. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    @Teddy-dog: Think this is why OP is sure that Binx is no longer there (she did not mention a third cat [Binx]). Agree, totally pointless turning up at the farm and threatening; the woman would just call the police who would not be interested. She wants to open a dialogue but has effectively been blocked when asking about her cat.
     
  17. Linda Weasel

    Linda Weasel PetForums VIP

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    For any lurkers or anybody who comes across this post in the future....

    I know it has already been said but it can’t be emphasised enough; if you care about the future of an animal that you’re having to re-home then please ONLY SIGN IT OVER TO A RECOGNISED RESCUE SOCIETY.

    They will be able to get into and vet the potential home, interview the prospective keeper, and most rescues have a contract with the new ‘keeper’ that the animal is returned to them if at any time in the future it is unable to be kept. In many cases the animal remains the property of the Rescue even after it has been re-homed from them.
     
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  18. Teddy-dog

    Teddy-dog PetForums VIP

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    But later on apparently the woman said she still does have Binx so who knows. Unfortunately once you pass on a pet you can’t stop them from rehoming again.
    I understand it’s sad but if the lady really doesn’t want to talk there is not much the OP can do :(
     
  19. Oh damn. I really feel for you!
    What a dilemma.
    If it was me I would want to get the cat back but like others have said you’ll have to play it carefully. I feel if something has gone wrong the new owner will just continue to shut you down that’s my concern. Caring owners don’t shut down previous owners. I was very happy to send photos of the cat that was re-homed with us to the previous foster carer. It gave her confidence that he was in a good home.
     
    Calvine likes this.
  20. Miss Molly Harte

    Miss Molly Harte PetForums Junior

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    Dear Elsie,
    I was thinking of you and your situation over the weekend, I hope you got some support and even better, found out where your cat is, and got him back? Drop a line if you have any news, sometimes when things go wrong like this, you do get some good luck. Anyway hoping all is well with you,, your story did touch me and I wish you much luck

    Molly x
     
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