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Anyone's cat died naturally from CHF? Riddled with guilt. Don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Leilah Wilde, Feb 14, 2020 at 12:36 PM.


  1. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    Hi readers. I feel like I'm having the worst week of my life. Took my nearly 19 year old cat to the vet last Monday and was told that due to her laboured breathing and rapid heart rate, she'd be better off being put down. He insisted we do it right then and there but without any emotional preparation, I just couldn't. Walked out with my Molly and took her back home, watched her stuff her face while I sat on the sofa in tears, wondering whether I'm the worst person in the world.

    She came into my life when I was 9 years old. I'm now 27. I can't remember life without her. She provided companionship to a lonely only child who, after receiving her, never craved to have siblings again! The bond is immensely strong.

    Yesterday I took her to the vets again for a second opinion. Again, I was told she should really be PTS. They offered to drain the fluid from her lungs caused by the CHF in an attempt to help her breathe a little better and I just paid for it. They drained as much as they could but told me that her prognosis is bad and I am just prolonging the inevitable. I was so close to letting her go yesterday while she was already sedated. I fell apart in the veterinary room and she just looked at me and I felt such guilt. Part of me felt like she was asking me to take her home and get her out of there so she can die in comfort in her house, the other part of me was wondering if she's telling me she's done.

    I'm just broken. So heartbroken. So full of guilt. Has anyone's cat died naturally from CHF, was it god awful?
     
  2. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    Here's my Molly.
     

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  3. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    I'm sorry you are dealing with this, It's not clear from your post whether you let her go then or still with her. Feeling guilt is normal but you have to think of the cat first in these situations. Her quality of life is what matters. A cat struggling to breathe will feel terror as well as discomfort and if there's no hope of her getting any better, it's not a nice way for her to live. Letting go can be very difficult but when it's the best thing for the cat, you've done the right brave most loving thing you could for her.

    It's your final act of love, releasing her from suffering or the suffering to come. And too soon is always better than too late.
     
  4. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you so much for your reply. I just feel like I need to speak to pet owners. I don't think I've ever felt anything like this in my life. She's still with me. At the moment she's laying on her pillow, resting. She doesn't do much else nowadays because she just becomes breathless. It sounds awful, I feel awful, I feel selfish and then when I get to the veterinary room I feel immense guilt for taking her there to die, knowing she trusts me.
     
  5. oliviarussian

    oliviarussian Meeoow!

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  6. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    I had a similar situation with my little dog just over a year ago.
    She became very distressed with her breathing and we could see the distress in her eyes. She still managed to eat her supper though, that was a great comfort to me as she adored food !
    We took her to the out-of -hours vet who scanned her chest and told us her lungs were full of fluid, she could relieve her congestion with diuretics but the fluid would quickly build up again. By this point Tango was unresponsive and exhausted so we opted for euthanasia to relieve her suffering , she'd just turned 15.
    We were heart-broken to lose her but felt we had to let her go.
    It's never easy.
     
  7. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    I'm so sorry to hear of your little dog. I'm sure she's eating all of her favourite things up in pup heaven.

    In hindsight I wish I had the balls to have her PTS while she was already sedated after having her lungs aspirated. I feel weak and selfish for not doing so and letting my emotions get the better of me. Now I'm going to have to put her through another trip to the vet, another ordeal, except this time she won't be coming back.

    I need to find some way to cope with the guilt.
     
  8. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    The guilt is normal. Nothing any of us can say will ease it I don't think, speaking from experience. Time is what takes it away. This is never an easy thing. Why don't you see if your vet will make a house call for the Final Kindness? Be gentle with yourself. You've given her a long happy life and now you will see her off in your loving arms. No cat could ask for more. x
     
  9. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    You will feel guilt whatever you do, it's a normal part of the grieving process.
    Could you get your vet to come to your house ? Many vets offer this service and if Tango hadn't deteriorated so quickly it's a service I would have used. You will find some comfort in knowing that you have ended your little cat's suffering, and she will know how much you loved her to set her free.


    cross posted with Lorilu.
     
  10. lymorelynn

    lymorelynn UN Peacekeeper in training
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    I can only echo all of this - it's exactly what I would have said.
     
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  11. bluecordelia

    bluecordelia Footy

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    @Leilah Wilde I lost a cat with heart issues last year. I knew his time was limited and I was lucky as we had a bit of time together to do great things and feed him whatever he fancied.

    I understand totally how the vets advice would be a shock. Having been through him having his lungs drained , I opted for conservative vet care. My cat was a lot younger so we managed with medication for a while. My cat hated the car journey and I didn’t want him scanned and having bloods every month as he couldn’t be made better.

    If your cat is ok after lung drainage , you will find at some point breathing will get more laboured or see her wheezing and in a low posture like she is going to bring up a hairball. Please take her back before it gets too bad. I am sorry to say she can’t be made better. It is better to take her before but it is one of the toughest decisions ever. You love her and have the ability to ease her passing. If it’s an option try for a home visit . You sadly may only have days.

    Take care
     
  12. Elsiebea

    Elsiebea PetForums Senior

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    Echoing what others have said here but Is there any way of organising a vet to come out to you so your poor lovely cat can remain relaxed at home in her final minutes. I think that’s what I would do. Wishing you all the best x
     
  13. OrientalSlave

    OrientalSlave Shunra Oriental Cats

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    Leilah Wilde likes this.
  14. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    You are all so wonderful, I really can't thank you enough. It's so lovely to speak to people who actually understand how painful this is.

    I'm trying to make my little Molly as comfortable as possible right now, I'm feeding her all of her favourite things and giving her lots of strokes and cuddles. I've phoned a few vets to enquire about home euthanasia but I'm looking at around £290... Which on top of the £400+ I've paid for her treatment this week, I just don't think I can afford. It breaks my heart.

    Thankfully the vet is only 2 minutes up the road and she doesn't seem too fussed about getting out of the house. It's just having her on that table, knowing I'm bringing her to her end. I just feel... I can't explain it. I feel physically sick.

    I keep thinking what if she dies suddenly and naturally in the house? What if she goes in her sleep? Can't her heart just suddenly stop? Painlessly and quickly? Is there no chance of this happening?
     
  15. Rufus15

    Rufus15 ~ Orrono Maine Coons ~

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    She may go in her sleep, but it would still be wise to make the appointment for her. If she passes peacefully in her sleep at home then all the better, but prolonging her laboured breathing will be distressing for her. It's a very difficult position to be in, you need to put her best interests first and I think all of us can completely appreciate the feeling you're describing
     
  16. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    Sadly, I think you're absolutely right. :(
     
  17. jill3

    jill3 PetForums VIP

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    I think most of us on here will understand what you are going through.
    Sadly it is one of the worst things to have to go through when having pets.
    Having had cats all my life i have been through this a few times. It never gets easier.
    Making the decision is the hardest.
    What i can tell you that they do go peacefully.
    You have had Molly a very long time and it is Heart breaking.
    Try to think on what a wonderful life you have given her and to help her move on into her next life with ease and painfree.
    Will be thinking of you xx
     
  18. Emmasian

    Emmasian PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry this is happening to you. Your love for your Molly comes through so strongly in your words, and I bet she has had the best life possible with you.

    Is there a supportive friend who could go with you if you make the decision to let her go? If it were me I would rather have the vet come to the house as well - would anywhere take payments in installments if you explained the situation?

    This forum is a brilliant way of getting support at such times so please do come back to us and let us know how things are going xxx
     
  19. purringcats

    purringcats PetForums Newbie

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    My cat has a heart condition to but is currently stable without medication and is 11 years old this year. I dread the day when I have to make the decision to say goodbye to her but I will have to put her best interests first and this would be the most difficult thing to decide on when it happens but she will have to come first.

    I have been reading your thread and agree with what others have said and I totally understand how you are felling right now.
     
  20. Leilah Wilde

    Leilah Wilde PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you all again for your responses. Your kindness makes me feel even more emotional in an already emotional situation. You are all truly wonderful people and I'm sure your babies are/were all so privileged to have you as their pet parents.

    I've just put some of those webbox licky treats on a plate and Molly has woken up to violently lick it clean. Even in her condition, she still won't say no to yummy goodies.

    I'm definitely going to give the vets a call again and see if they take payments in installments for in-home euthanasia - thank you for mentioning that - it didn't even cross my mind.

    Right now I'm trying to think of ways I can remember her. I'd like to keep something of hers - sounds strange I know - but a paw print or something that I can hang on the wall. Has anyone else done anything like this to remember their baby?
     
    bluecordelia likes this.
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