Welcome!

Welcome to PetForums, the UK's most popular and friendly pet owners community. Please 'Sign Up' if you'd like to take part and contribute to our forum.

Sign Up

Anyone going through the same thing?

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Angela_, Dec 4, 2018.


  1. Angela_

    Angela_ PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    108
    After some serious health issues (Hyperthyroidism and Triaditis) my 18 year old cat Thomas, has been diagnosed with Intestinal Lymphoma and Pancreatic Cancer.

    Our vet is lovely, but has said there is nothing we can do to make Thomas better. We are making him comfortable with palliative care.

    He has been having a jab every 3 days, and we now have Prednicare pills to give him at home. He doesn’t appear to be in any pain, just a bit more sleepy than usual and is still enjoying his food.

    My heart is breaking at the thought of having to say goodbye to him. I found him when he was a tiny kitten when I was 18. He is the first pet I have had that has just been mine (I had a dog as a child).

    I was wondering if anyone is going through or has been through a similar thing, and maybe has some advice?
    Thank you x
     
    Puddy2shoes likes this.
  2. Eilidh

    Eilidh PetForums Senior

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    501
    Likes Received:
    970
    Hi there Angela. I've never personally lost a pet. There is plenty lovely people on here who have been in your situation, I'm sure they will reply with some great advice.
    I'm so so sorry your going through this. You have this time to say goodbye and show him love and care. 18 years is such a long time to be together, I'm happy you had all these years with him. Through the good and the bad.

    I know someone on here recently lost her boy and she contacted the pet bereavement call line when she was ready. I'm sorry I'm not much help, but know your not alone. Ever need to chat this is the place to come. You and your boy, Thomas will be in my prayers. Sending lots of love to you and Thomas, furry ones to him from my lot.

    Do you have any pictures of your boy you could share?

    Eilidh xxxx
     
    Puddy2shoes and Angela_ like this.
  3. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2013
    Messages:
    18,239
    Likes Received:
    22,312
    Sadly, yes I have lost pets over the years :(

    It’s a horrible time but luckily our cats and dogs have always lived to good ages before they have been taken ill.

    Our vets have always been wonderful at dealing with our animals (and us) at these difficult times, but ultimately, we have to make that final decision - which is never easy.

    We question our decision - should we have waited, etc.

    All I would say is that, given how stoic animals are and that hiding pain and weakness is a survival technique, it’s better for them to be a week early letting them go - rather than a day too late.

    Love and spoil him while you can and he’s comfortable :)

    When the time comes, take comfort in the fact he had a great life with you and was obviously one of the lucky ones to have a loving, safe home.

    You’ll feel very sad and lost for a while but it will get easier - trust me ;)

    Sorry you’re having to deal with this - take care x
     
    Puddy2shoes, Pinto, Etienne and 3 others like this.
  4. Angela_

    Angela_ PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    108
    F3F8B86E-73A0-4493-BF5F-6C760A7CFB1A.jpeg 2CF65728-B633-4D96-8D20-8AFFDF40440F.jpeg
    This is Thomas.

    Thank you for your lovely responses.

    He really is the most loving and gorgeous boy I could ever wish to have.
     
  5. Eilidh

    Eilidh PetForums Senior

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    501
    Likes Received:
    970
    Aw @angela he is such a handsome boy, beautiful colours. Please take time for yourself too, if you ever want to chat just message me or write your thoughts down. Someone found that really helpful recently, like writing a diary. I hope you can take some solace in knowing he loves you and he's had a great life with you for 18 years.
    Honestly can't imagine what your going through. My heart is breaking for you. Give him lots of love and furry hugs from myself and my lot.
    Eilidh xx
     
    Puddy2shoes, Angela_ and Lurcherlad like this.
  6. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2013
    Messages:
    18,555
    Likes Received:
    40,267
    I'm so sorry you've had bad news about your dear boy, he's a really beautiful cat. I've lost many cats over the years and all you can do is take one day at a time and make all the remainng moments precious with Thomas. Your heart aches knowing you can't do anything to make things better and time is limited I know, especially as he has been a big part of your life for so long. When the time comes, remember you are doing the kindest thing letting him go when he is too tired to carry on. Please keep talking on here if you need to, we all understand.
     
    Puddy2shoes, Eilidh, Angela_ and 2 others like this.
  7. ewelsh

    ewelsh PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    7,684
    Likes Received:
    15,879
    Thomas is gorgeous and obviously much loved, he will feel this love for sure as you feel the love from him, this never ever fades.

    I have been in your situation, nothing prepares you for the horrible feeling of having to let go and nothing can help you feel better.

    Take each day as it comes and one day only you will know when, you will do what’s right for Thomas. It’s the last tiny piece of love you can offer your boy.
    Yes your heart will break and the feeling is just awful, in time you will be glad you made the decision to help Thomas sleep. Keep thinking of that word, sleep!

    As others have said please stay talking with us, most of us have been through this so will understand all your feelings.


    Sending all my love and prayers
     
  8. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    21,122
    Likes Received:
    16,311
    Hi Angela, I am so sorry to hear this sad news about Thomas, bless the dear boy. I second Charity's good advice to take one day at a time and make what time you have left with Thomas as special and memorable as possible.

    It has caused me great anguish over the years to part with my much loved cat companions. I have found it hard to judge when is the right time to say "goodbye" to each one. As Lurcherlad has said "better a week too early than a day too late" and I do keep this in mind whenever one of my cats has been in the final stages of their life, but it can be fearsomely difficult to let them go. It means completely putting aside one's own emotional needs and longings.

    Thomas sounds like a gorgeous fellow and it is lovely that his life with you has been long and happy. He has given you his affection and his loyalty, and what an amazing gift that is! We are so fortunate to share our lives with our wonderful cat companions who add so much to the quality of our lives.

    Thinking of you with much sympathy Angela,

    Love to your handsome, beloved boy Thomas xx
     
    Puddy2shoes, Eilidh, ewelsh and 5 others like this.
  9. Angela_

    Angela_ PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    108
    Thank you all so much for your kind words and thoughts. Xx
     
    Puddy2shoes and ewelsh like this.
  10. Feddysmum

    Feddysmum PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    8
     
    Puddy2shoes likes this.
  11. Feddysmum

    Feddysmum PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    8
    Hi Agela
     
    Puddy2shoes likes this.
  12. Feddysmum

    Feddysmum PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    8
    Hi Angela I am so sorry for what you are going through, having had cats all my life I have lost quite a few cats over the years each one under different circumstances my Persian boy had a congenital illness where his kidneys and bladder had fused together, he had been taken to the vets for a routine check when this was discovered I took him in on the following day to have xrays I had a call from the vets who asked me while ive got him on the table under general anaesthetic did I want him to open Bertie up to see how bad this was, that was a call I wish I hadn't had I said yes Bertie died 2 days later I thought if I hadn't have said yes I would have had him a little while longer, I agree with all the comments made to you there is no way of knowing what is the correct thing to do as a cat lover I am sure you will do the right thing by yourself and your beloved boy Thomas I am sending all my love to you both, Xxx
     
    Puddy2shoes and Angela_ like this.
  13. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2009
    Messages:
    7,905
    Likes Received:
    7,096
    I'm so sorry to hear about your precious boy Thomas.

    Yes my Jennie was diagnosed with colon cancer just over a month ago. The goal is to keep her comfortable for as long as she wants to be here now. I've just had to up the ante on her meds. For a month piroxicam and gabapentin were doing the job, but over the weekend she began to fail a bit. She's now additionally on Cerenia and buprenex and I have appetite stimulant if needed. She's getting fluids every few days as well to keep her kidneys flushed, especially on days she doesn't want to eat.

    Once putting her on the additional meds she's back to happy and feeling well. When she isn't, I've promised her, I'll let her go join my other Angels. While I'm careful to stay positive and cheerful at home, I do take a moment every day to talk to her about it, telling her to be sure and tell me when she's had enough and I will send her off.

    When I need to cry I go out to my car.
     
    Puddy2shoes and chillminx like this.
  14. Angela_

    Angela_ PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    108
    Hi @lorilu, thanks for replying. Sorry for what you are going through with Jennie, it’s so hard.

    I also try not to cry in front of Thomas, although sometimes it just happens, so I go into a different room.

    I think Thomas is comfortable at the moment (at least I hope he is). How do manage to give Jennie Buprenex? Thomas was having none of it. I’m worried that if the medication he’s on now stops working we are pretty much out of options because he can be very difficult and stubborn.

    I am going to talk to Thomas about what is going on, I think it will be good for both of us.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences x
     
  15. Eilidh

    Eilidh PetForums Senior

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    501
    Likes Received:
    970
    So sad to hear this @lorilu I never knew what you wee going through with Jennie. I've read many of your posts before and know how passionate you are about your animals. Hopefully yourself and @angela will be able to be the for each other during this horrible time. Sending love and positive vibes to yourself and Jennie. You'll be in my prayers tonight too. Eilidh xx
     
  16. Clairabella

    Clairabella PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2017
    Messages:
    4,416
    Likes Received:
    9,537

    So sorry ❤️ I haven’t been through the same thing as you but couldn’t pass by without saying how sorry I am to read about Thomas and sorry for the heartbreaking time you are going through. You and Thomas are in my thoughts xxx
     
    Puddy2shoes and Angela_ like this.
  17. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    21,122
    Likes Received:
    16,311
    @lorilu - I am so sorry to hear the news about Jennie. Sending you much sympathy for being in this situation, and much love to Jennie xx
     
  18. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2009
    Messages:
    7,905
    Likes Received:
    7,096
    I find the bupe easy because it isn't supposed to go down the throat, it is absorbed by the mucus membranes in the mouth. I put Jennie in holding position (kneeling with her facing out between my knees) telling her what I am about to do and why. Then I slip the syringe into the corner of her mouth, making sure to point back away from the front of the mouth and squirt. Aiming for the gums/tongue best I can. I've just done a dose and I almost think it shot out the other side of her mouth! but I have no way of knowing if I actually missed or not and don't risk another dose in case I didn't miss. If this won't work for you you might try getting it done when he's snoozing. It only has to get into the mouth, on the tongue, the gums anywhere like that. It's not mean to be swallowed.

    Jennie takes liquid gabapentin and pills too, and she's becoming a real pro at it, I'm so proud of her!

    I think so too. I've done this with all my cast as their end of life illnesses progress. I think it's very important to not only ask them to tell us but to assure them that WE will be okay. We don't want them suffering and trying to hide it because they are worried about us doing without them. xx

    You're welcome. No matter how you look at it, it's painful and devastating. It's the price we pay for letting these precious souls into our hearts and lives. Be gentle with yourself. xx
     
  19. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2009
    Messages:
    7,905
    Likes Received:
    7,096
    Thank you both for your kind and lovely messages. xxxx
     
    Puddy2shoes and chillminx like this.
  20. huckybuck

    huckybuck Feline Forum Fashionista

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Messages:
    17,415
    Likes Received:
    45,622
    One of our cats was diagnosed with intestinal cancer at 17. We did operate to do a biopsy and remove as much as possible but couldn’t take it all - and it was malignant.

    He was quite bright at the time so we took him home and used meds to control his symptoms.

    One thing that really helped was an injection of B12 every week or so. It gave him a bit more energy and increased his appetite a little.

    Ben lasted 3 months and the quality of life was pretty good until just the last week.

    In those 3 months he ate all his favourite foods and did exactly whatever he wanted. We just tried to make him feel as loved and special and happy as we could. He was spoiled rotten.

    When I realised he was suffering at the end I booked the vet to come to the house the next day. However I realised he couldn’t wait that long so had to bring it forward. He had stopped eating and didn’t really know what he wanted to do with himself. He looked as if he couldn’t get comfortable.

    I am glad he had the time with us after the Op and I am pretty sure he left this world knowing he was loved, safe and cared for.

    I hope you have some quality time with Thomas now. Spoil him rotten, give him whatever he wants. He will feel really loved safe and cared for and ultimately that’s all a cat wants.

    I am so sorry that it has come to this and wish you strength.

    Keep us updated as to how you are both doing.
     
    Puddy2shoes and Eilidh like this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice