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Anyone else going to find it hard this Christmas?

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by SpencerK, Nov 17, 2017.


  1. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Member

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    Hi guys

    I just clicked on the same Christmas link on Youtube - - and had a flood of sadness, this will be the first year without Barns, he was such a Christmas cat, always used to harass us putting up the decorations he literally seemed to bring in the festive cheer, this year without him feels awfully hollow. It's not fair on my partner or the other cats for me to be down.

    How does one overcome this horrible feeling of lose during this time - he died just after Christmas last year, so I associate, moreso, Christmas with my dear boy Barns.

    I keep trying to be positive and say "He had 16 good years", and that helps - then I will listen to something like that link it my stomach sinks..

    Anyone feeling me?
    Spence
     
  2. Animallover26

    Animallover26 I am me.

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    First of all, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. The first *insert celebration here* is always going to be difficult after you have lost someone special, but you will, over time be able to look at Christmas with happiness, remembering the fun times, rather then with sadness.
    When I was a child, 10 days before Christmas our beloved family dog, whom we had had for about 7 years, died. That was a difficult Christmas, the following year, I found putting the decorations up difficult as it bought that day back as he died the day we put the decorations up, over time it got easier, it will for you too, just be kind to yourself, you are allowed to grieve :)
     
    Sproglet likes this.
  3. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Member

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    Thanks for your kind words. It will be hard, but life goes on I suppose. Just so hard losing him, he was soo damn cute!
     
  4. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Junior

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    hi spencer how are you doing all these months later.we had a chat a few times about your beautiful cat barnes and our lovely boy jake.we lost jake in march and i read your posts before.this is our first christmas without jake and i am feeling down thinking about him and i would buy him presents and wrap them up.my son has done a spreadsheet of many quotes regarding jakes life and put some photos in which is to go in a lovely large frame.he wanted me to look it over yesterday and it was very hard for me to look at the photos and ended up crying all day.sorry to be so miserable at this time of year.it has been a difficult nine months and we all miss him so much.we havent got another dog but i know i will need to put a brave face on as you say its unfair on the rest of the family.hope things get better for you at this difficult time.please let me know how you get on caroline
     
  5. Sproglet

    Sproglet PetForums Senior

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    I lost two of my oldies this year and am now left with one dog (from five originally). It's going to be very quiet here this Christmas, so I can understand totally how you feel. There is no right or wrong way to deal with how you're feeling. Go with the flow. If you feel you need a bit of time to cry, do it, but also don't feel guilty about being happy either.
     
  6. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Member

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    Hello Caroline,

    Time has certainly gone quick - not sure if thats a good thing or bad. Like you, I cannot look at pics or vids yet. I cannot mediate, I cannot look outside on the shed, lol. Cannot do much without getting that "feeling like I swallowed a hot bit of coal". We got another kitten, but I must say that this has not gone so well. He's not comfortable in the house, because of the older cat that grew up with Barns is a grumpy ole git, and has made the little one very jumpy and unsettled; which is a shame as after Barns I wanted to put all my love into him. Still, when Megs has passed, he will come out of his shell.

    So, getting another cat - as some wise people on here said at the time, might not have been the best thing. Still, getting another dog does not have the same implications as getting another cat, when there are existing cats in the house.

    Personally, if it was me - I would be out now fostering another dog, right away. Having the new kitty has helped, a bit. Its made me realise - moreso - that animals need love, need a nice home - and by giving that love, it helps settle - not entirely - the pain of losing that special pet.

    Merry Christmas Caroline and RIP Jake, you are in my thoughts.
     
  7. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Junior

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    hi spencer thanx for repling to my message.how did your christmas go and a happy new year to you and your partner.also thanx for your advice.i dont mind you askin at all spencer its good to talk to someone whos had the same experience.i am still finding it hard without him but like you i have started ok .i am glad you are being more positive and it will be a year for you soon.how are you feeling about this.i think about jake every day and im just so thankful to have looked after a beautiful dog like him.when i can get the courage i will message you and show you a photograph of him.since i joined the forum i havent put any photos of him on as it was too painful .please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing spencer. barnes and jake always in my thoughts.all the best caroline.
     
  8. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Member

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    Hi Caroline,

    Funny, I just click on the link to Barns thread - the one I made at the start of his treatment, during up till the end. I was thinking to myself, shall I post in it - its been nearly a year, do I put myself through the woe, the pain of recognizing its been a year, do I suddenly break out the images, videos and celebrate this magnificent animal - my son - erm, I don't know. My partner got me a locket, filled with his ashes - silver one, to put on when the time is right, but I..... i.. dunno, its still tooo painful, I would imagine you are very much like that with beloved Jake. I could get all cocky and be like "Yeah, time to deal with it", start looking, start remembering and bang, be all down again... lol.

    x
     
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