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Am so worried, and so down

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GillyR, May 4, 2010.


  1. GillyR

    GillyR PetForums VIP

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    Hello
    I know this is a pet forum.....but i feel like i have a little bit of a freindship iykwim....

    I am being made redundant, as some of you may know.....although we do have a business, that is struggling, it is just not enough to keep the mortgage going etc...
    I am just so worried, it is making me ill.....i just dont know what to do...i think i am being unfairly made redundant....but the fact they wont me out, has knocked me for six.

    My husband is worried, and he even lashed out at max today, which is not like him.....we have been through so much, we have had to bury two of our sons.....and he was so strong....but i am feeling, that this is the last straw.

    Looks like we may lose the business, and our home. We have a daughter at university, that we need to take care of....the money wont stretch to the bills never mind anything else....sorry, just have no idea what to do.

    Just dont know what to do.
     
  2. nic101

    nic101 PetForums VIP

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    i have no idea what to say other than im so sorry what your going through *hugs*

    no helpful advice sorry xx :(
     
  3. LostGirl

    LostGirl PetForums VIP

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    Oh no :(

    I know the CAB are pretty good at helping you, and you should be able to sign on which is i think only like £60 a week but it might help a little bit.

    Massive hugs xx
     
  4. dobermummy

    dobermummy Banned

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    **hugs**

    i know how scary it all is, we were facing someting similar not long ago and it made me really ill.

    try not to stress yourself out too much, and look after your health coz its importants.

    if you ever wanna talk im always about

    xxx
     
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  5. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    Gilly, I'm sorry
    *hugs*

    i wish i could help :(
     
  6. Mum2Alfie

    Mum2Alfie PetForums VIP

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    Oh hun! *Hugs* Sounds like u need abit of luck! Try to get your job sorted. You have been given alot of advice. The only thing I can suggest is getting help money wise asap. Benefits will help you with this. Put in for them now saying you are being made redundant, then if you do keep it you can just write and let them know. Are you council? Or do you own ur home? Some councils will help you with housing and council tax benefit even if you do own ur own home. (dont quote me cause there could be some clauses to it!) But even if you get council tax benefit it will help. Go for tax credits. I am sure you will get some. What kinda buisness is it?

    You may need to get help for the stress for your husband sooner rather than later! Dont wait for it to get too bad. (if he will take it)

    Its a tough time, I completely understand, we have been there ourselves! You need to stay strong for each other and try to get help where ever possible. If you dont ask you dont get!

    Hope this kinda helps! Sorry I cant help any more! :s
     
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  7. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    just thought, if your daughter is struggling money wise at uni, most unis money advisors and discretionary funds available to the students.

    probably not much help sorry, but may give her something to look into if she's struggling and you can't help out as much.
     
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  8. Mum2Alfie

    Mum2Alfie PetForums VIP

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    Oh good advice!
     
  9. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry for you hun what a horrible situation to be in :(
     
  10. rona

    rona Guest

    You have got several weeks to get your head around this and redundancy money coming your way.
    Try and relax a little and get your head around it first, before you try and make any decisions, you will not be in any state to deal with things for a couple of weeks and it's better to wait until your head is straight and you have sought advice, before doing anything.
    I will say again that ACAS is the most helpful place to phone, you will be put on hold for a very long time, but they really help. Best to write down your questions before you phone.
     
  11. Mum2Alfie

    Mum2Alfie PetForums VIP

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    Do you think I was abit too quick? To us always get on top of things helps with stress levels and to get things moving.

    Sorry I know its different for different people.

    Sorry for rushing you if I was!
     
  12. Mum2Heidi

    Mum2Heidi PetForums VIP

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    Really sorry to hear your awful time of things. As mentioned ACAS is brilliant.
    Try to take each day as it comes and deal with things as they come along.
    Hope things change for you v soon xxxxxx
     
  13. rona

    rona Guest

    I'm just talking from my experience. It's like all things, if you don't know the questions to ask, then you can't ask the relevant questions.
    With something like redundancy, especially after 12 years of employment, you do get some breathing time, to get your head together and hunt for a few answers and/or questions by yourself, before putting the extra pressure of dealing with government departments.
    However, everyone is different, and some may feel the need to act immediately.
    I just found said departments, most unhelpful, other than ACAS
     
  14. GillyR

    GillyR PetForums VIP

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    Thanks Guys.

    Acas were great....they are wrong to get rid of me when we have temp staff...but how they can get out of it, is by saying it is a different department......

    I let rip today.....as i found out the manager made it common knowledge that i am to be made redundant, before it has even been finalised. I am sure that is not right.
     
  15. rona

    rona Guest

    You go girl :thumbup:
    Have you told them that you have been in contact with ACAS
    It seemed to shock my ex boss when I told him :devil:
     
  16. JANICE199

    JANICE199 PetForums VIP

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    My thoughts are with you Gilly as we are still waiting to find out if my hubby is going to be made redundant.So far all we get is a load of rumours.Not good times.:(
     
  17. GillyR

    GillyR PetForums VIP

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    Thanks Rona.....i am normally a quiet person, and i really hate confrontation.
    But i am sure she had no right to tell poeple. Feel so sick. She even said it was because there was an atmosphere in the office, thats why she told them.....but i pointed out, she told them before i even got in !!!!
    She is a crafty cow. After my 2nd son died, i had a lot of time off, as i had a breakdown, and when i came back she had got my job. She is very crafty.
    Thanks so much Rona, really good to talk to someone that understands....it is awful.

    Oh Janice, fingers crossed for your husband xxxx
     
  18. GillyR

    GillyR PetForums VIP

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    oh no i havent told them i have been in touch with acas, i have a meeting with the md tomorrow, i will tell him then.
     
  19. GillyR

    GillyR PetForums VIP

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    Thanks xxx good yo know i am not alone......feel like i have been kicked in the teeth.
     
  20. rona

    rona Guest

    My ACAS advisor said it's best to try and keep thing as friendly as possible without them taking advantage. It's just a case of knowing your rights and not letting them walk all over you.
    I always feel like punching my ex boss every time I see him, because after 20 years he has treated me appallingly, but I know it will get me nowhere so I smile and bite my tongue most of the time. I do however make it clear that I know my rights and will act if necessary.
     
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