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Am I being pathetic?! Please help!

Discussion in 'Working & Sports Dogs' started by MarleyxIda, Dec 21, 2017.


  1. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    Hi everyone I'm new to the forums. And I would like to ask for some advice. Me and my partner live together and we have a 1 year old Working Cocker Spaniel, she's a fantastic all round dog, great in the house, listens to all commands she's a bit touch and go off the lead but my partners working on it! She is also a working dog although Marley (CS) has been around me more since we brought her home, I also housetrained her and fed her some meals and took her for lead walks she's always been a daddy's girl, it's clear to see he's the pack leader. Although I do the hard stuff! Don't get me wrong Marley loves me but she LOVES my partner. So anyway...

    My partner has decided to put a deposit down for a Whippet X Saluki/Whippet/Greyhound, so when he works Marley she can flush the rabbits out and for the Lurcher to course. But I just feel a bit pathetic as I've always wanted a Lurcher having owned a couple before, lovely dogs sound temperament (most the time!) and just and all round great dog. My partner said that he will allow me to treat the puppy the same as I did with Marley when she was young and he doesn't mind me taking it for walks and so on but he said he would like it to be ideally his dog, so the way Marley looks up to him is the same sort of relationship he would like with this pup, but I'm very much into Lamping myself.. And I'm feeling a bit jealous and left out. Am I right to feel like this? I just want a dog to look at me and be like "Mum is aaaamaaaazing" I'd like a dog that I could train on one to one.. I feel like my partner is hogging all the dogs.. What can I do about this? Because I don't think there's no way he's going to let me train this puppy as he said he wants to have a bond with it. Looking forward to everyone's responses. And thank you for reading!
     
  2. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    Hmmm.... IME the dog tends to choose his favourite human. So there's no guarantee that your OH will have the same bond as he does with Marley. So I wouldn't worry about it too much.
     
  3. Siskin

    Siskin Look into my eyes....

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    It's a shame your feeling a bit left out, although you may well find your lurcher puppy may decide you're the best thing since sliced bread.
    Is there any chance you could have a third dog later on which will be yours and yours alone?
     
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  4. Westie Mum

    Westie Mum PetForums VIP

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    We got two puppies at the same time, one for me, one for OH.

    I did all the training with Poppy including all her dog training classes, the feeding, the snuggles, everything. Likewise OH did everything for Oscar.

    Poppy legally belongs to me, Oscar legally belongs to OH - KC certificates, microchips, Vet register etc.

    Nowadays Poppy will snuggle us both.

    Oscar however only has eyes for his mummy .... much to the annoyance of OH :D
     
  5. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    I just know I'm going to fall in love with this puppy straight away and I'm totally ready to put effort in, but it's obviously restricted what I can do.. Hopefully she turns out to be my dog. But I'll try not to worry too much! Thank you.
     
    Calvine likes this.
  6. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    I hope so! Because if love to have a little friend of my own that only has eyes for me, but I'm doubting it as my partner wants to do most of the work with her.
     
  7. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    It doesn't matter who does all the work with a dog as a rule...

    Dogs are fickel and choose a preference for whatever reason they want.

    Working dogs will often happy work well for the person but can happily be found at home snuggled with the non working person and in that circumstance the worker doesn't exist.

    Bonds happen for a variety of reasons, it helps if you feed, train and walk but its not the be all and end all to be honest.
     
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  8. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    Does your partner consult you when he makes these decisions? He decided to get another dog for himself and he's going allow you to bring it up and he doesn't mind you taking it for walks. That's big of him !
     
  9. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    He consulted me yes, and I agreed to the pup. But I just feel a tad downhearted about the fact I may never be the dogs owner as I stated before knowing I'll be doing most of the hard stuff. My OH mentioned that he wanted to put his "heart and soul" into this puppy by training and feeding and walking it. But say for an example when he can't be there then he said that I could feed the pup or walk it. On the other hand my partner has been training our other dog for nearly a year and still isn't 100% with how he would like her, and we have raised her since a young pup, but I wouldn't exactly say he has put his full effort into Marley either, so I wonder what he's going to be like with the new pup.
     
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  10. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    If Marley isn't no where near on the training front you want him to be...that's where having two dogs especially a young puppy that often picks up bad habits from other dogs will be your main problem to be honest.


    Honestly dogs are fickel...I spent the best part of 2 years helping my rehomed Chihuahua become confident in her own skin...and who would she rather be with my other half. Till about 9 months ago and she thought actually my son is the better option..

    I have many dogs over the years, and I have been the main care taker or me and the kids. I have some that I can say we're heart and soul mine, and some my OHs and some just full of cupboard love for anyone.

    Lurchers are lovely dogs but just be aware with saluki in the mix you may have some amount of aloofness anyway, and the lurcher might not be exactly what you are imagining...as technically you are buying a longdog with that cross.
     
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  11. Sarah H

    Sarah H Grand Empress of the Universe

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    My (female) colleague and her hubby have 3 dogs. A Viszla, sprocker and cocker. They are all working dogs and will go out with her OH during the hunting season and work happily all day. However the Viz loves his mummy and will snuggle up to her if given the chance! Yes, he works brilliantly with her OH but he definitely has his favourite! (The other 2 aren't bothered either way)
    So don't lose heart. Pup may very well have a great relationship with both of you, just in different ways. My dog loves my brother and he loves taking her for long walks, but I'm still her 'person'.
     
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  12. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    Well, yes; you're not going to let it starve, you'd have the RSPCA breaking down the door, and he's not going to get a dog sitter in! I hope the new dog adores you! I'm sure it will. One of my cats totally adored my son; slept on his bed every single night, never on mine. No reason for it, he didn't lure her with prawns, she just decided he was hers. Fingers crossed the new pup will be the same with you.
     
  13. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you Calvine. As I put before I would love to have my own little friend. After all the kind responses I suppose it's not always down to the person that feeds and walks them and so on. I'll stay calm and see what happens! But in the mean time looking forward to picking her up next weekend! Thank you.
     
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  14. Goblin

    Goblin PetForums VIP

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    There's no telling where a bond will form. It's not a pack leader thing either. We have 4 dogs presently. They are all my other half's. Out of those 4, 3 have attached themselves to me far more than her. No rhyme or reason, simply happened. Can be a mix of reasons. A simple one for example if rescuing is previous owner experience. Some dogs are more likely to form a stronger bond with a male instead of female owner and vice versa due to the previous owner who was male/female. Could also be historical based trust issues with either. That's simply 2 of many possibilities.
     
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  15. rottiepointerhouse

    rottiepointerhouse PetForums VIP

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    My response is to wonder why someone on a pet lovers forum would be "into" the persecution of wildlife :(
     
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  16. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    I was pretending in my head that wasn't in the post!
     
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  17. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    I have noticed on these forums there is a Working and Sports Dog section. Both me and my OH have permission from a Game Keeper. We don't go out whenever we like and wherever killing whatever, only when the Game Keeper requires us to. It is Legal with permission.
     
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  18. rottiepointerhouse

    rottiepointerhouse PetForums VIP

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    Doesn't really answer my question though, what makes a young woman and her partner "really into" lamping??
     
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  19. MarleyxIda

    MarleyxIda PetForums Newbie

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    Because it's enjoyable to see the dog work for what it's bred for. In which I don't see anything wrong with that. It doesn't harm anyone, neither the dog. So I don't believe there is an issue.
     
  20. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    Lamping you need permission of the person who owns the fields not usually a keeper, a farmer.

    Due to the night time activity...you don't need a dog to 'flush' as far as am aware.

    Confused dot com.
     
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