Welcome to PetForums

Join thousands of other pet owners and pet lovers on the UK's most popular and friendly pet community and discussion forum.

Sign Up

Am I been selfish?

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by tinaK, Sep 25, 2013.


  1. tinaK

    tinaK PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2010
    Messages:
    6,489
    Likes Received:
    1,904
    Am I been selfish expecting the girls to put up with my mental illness?

    I try my best to look after them.. but they pick stuff up, especially Clover :(
     
  2. Firedog

    Firedog PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2011
    Messages:
    8,781
    Likes Received:
    2,039
    No, I don't think you are being selfish. They could be somewhere else with someone that could be mistreating them.

    It is so obvious that you love those girls to bits, what more could they want?

    They are pretty adaptable animals and will just go with the flow, what is normal anyway? Everyone's idea of normal differs slightly.

    Don't start beating yourself up again.
     
  3. tiatortilla

    tiatortilla PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2012
    Messages:
    3,019
    Likes Received:
    48
    No I don't think you are. I have MH problems too, and I know sometimes my moods and reactions to things will affect Tia but it's an incredibly small part of her life. She also has the best food, great walks, loads of cuddles, play time and training so even if she does get upset because I'm upset sometimes, I don't think it means she has a bad life.
    You look after your girls incredibly well and I think they have everything they could possibly want or need :).
     
    MyMillie likes this.
  4. MyMillie

    MyMillie MillieMoo'sMum

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    2,016
    Likes Received:
    118
    TOTALLY agree with this!!....cloversmum, you are one of the most UNSELFISH owner I have ever "met" on PF!!.... reading all your posts I come across shows me this!...PLEASE stop thinking this way, you do SO much for your girls....YOU are an inspiration to many on here!! never never forget that :)....bless you xx
     
    Summersky likes this.
  5. Dogless

    Dogless PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2010
    Messages:
    39,244
    Likes Received:
    713
    Well considering 1 in 4 people suffer some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year (Mental Health Foundation) that's an awful lot of PF dogs owned by someone with one....and the beauty of dogs is that they do not know and do not discriminate :). As long as they are fed, walked and loved they just want to be with you I reckon, regardless.
     
  6. BenBoy

    BenBoy Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2013
    Messages:
    3,357
    Likes Received:
    53
    Well said!!! I have MH issues and Ben is my therapy dog :D
     
  7. Honeys mum

    Honeys mum PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2013
    Messages:
    3,703
    Likes Received:
    3,833
    No of course not.
    Its clear to see from your posts that you love your girls to bits and they love you, and want to be with you.
    They are fed , walked and loved and have a lovely home, what more could they want.
    take care and keep well.xxx
     
  8. ozrex

    ozrex PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2011
    Messages:
    2,796
    Likes Received:
    108
    Are you being selfish???? Mmmmm, let me see....

    Do you feed the dogs? Checks pictures. Hmmmmm, slim, fit, bright-eyed, shiny?
    YUP! Got that one.

    Do you exercise the dogs? Hmmmm, been known to take dogs out in the dark despite terror of dark? Yup. Been known to take dogs out when so sick she should be in hospital? Yup. Been known to take dogs out with doggy friends? Yup. Got that one.

    Do you entertain the dogs? Hmmmm, cuddles? Yup. Bones? Yup. Are they inside dogs? Yup. Been on holiday? You betcha!!

    Do you love the dogs? Yup, more than you love yourself. Well that's a daft question. Answer too obvious to merit discussion.

    Well, rigorous check-list completed. Think I'll award you "Dog Owner of the Year"!

    Mate, you don't pass you exceed all expectations and that's NOT a joke. When I'm reincarnated I want to be one of your dogs.
     
    Summersky, WeedySeaDragon and Firedog like this.
  9. BlueBeagle

    BlueBeagle PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,269
    Likes Received:
    26
    You are your dogs life, sweetie! However, much they pick up on your moods all they want is you! They adore you and you adore them and the support they give you is amazing and they do it willingly and with love.

    As Dogless says 1 in 4 people suffer from some form of MH issues and I would guess many have dogs, our dogs are our therapy. I know mine is and working with her has helped me no end.

    As Oxrex says you don't just meet basic needs you exceed them by miles, so take care of yourself and try to not beat yourself up over this (hard I know!)

    Big cyber hugs from me (((((CM))))
     
  10. ellenlouisepascoe

    ellenlouisepascoe PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    5,860
    Likes Received:
    7,028
    I think you are an amazing doggy Mum :) You truly are.
    A lot of people without mental health issues don't look after their dogs half as well as you do, you really need to be proud of your achievement.

    That is why dogs are so good for people with mental health issues, dogs understand how we feel without a single word, don't judge you, don't lecture you or try to bully you out of it they just sit beside you , cuddle in and match your mood till you feel better.
     
  11. Picklelily

    Picklelily PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2013
    Messages:
    3,330
    Likes Received:
    2,008
    Goodness me no.

    Ok so we don't know exactly what our dogs are thinking in terms of specific words, we can however tell if they are happy and your dogs look happy.

    How do I know if my dogs happy, does she look healthy; clean coat, shiny eyes, clean ears, good teeth, happy to go out for a walk and most importantly for a dog are they eating. I'm sure your dogs do all of those things.

    Don't mistake dogs mooching around, giving puppy dog eyes for unhappiness, that's just dogs using their natural manipulative skills to get a treat and mooching around is what a well fed and exercised dog likes to do.

    I have seen you posting about caring for your dogs, taking them out for a walk when many people would be ignoring their needs feeling as rough as you do.

    You are obviously a much better dog owner than most people.
     
  12. tashi

    tashi PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Messages:
    16,655
    Likes Received:
    500
    Your dogs could have no better, they adore you - you adore them. Clover may pick up on it BUT other service dogs are trained for people, clover is a natural. Keep smiling (as I know you can) hope to be around a bit more in the coming weeks have had a bit of a busy time here this summer, so look out cos Tashi's about xxxxx
     
  13. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2013
    Messages:
    14,885
    Likes Received:
    22,572
    After reading your many posts, and lovely pics of your girls I have to echo what everyone says, you are doing great, forget your label you are you, everyone loves you for it.

    I work with autistic children. One of my work colleagues, who I often wonder why he wants to do this job since if I was his employer I would have not given him the position. Anyway, one of the girls grandma has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. My work colleagues passing comment was, I wonder how she will cope, its hard enough for a normal person to cope with that. I was a bit taken back with the comment, and did my usual and said absolutely nothing. Its got me thinking though, how would anyone describe a normal person. I wouldn't have a clue what or who is normal. We all have flaws, we all have issues from the serious to quite silly. As we grow, we all have baggage. I thought that all humans were unique, no one person is quite like another. Our views and opinions are our own, and some may conform with some, others may not. So maybe I haven't put my point across very well. Its just that I wanted you to know that differences between people are always there, and regardless of any label that you have, you are really no different to anyone else.
     
  14. JenKyzer

    JenKyzer PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2013
    Messages:
    3,729
    Likes Received:
    4,475
    I agree with everyone else!! Not selfish at all, your girls are lucky to have you, lucky to be cared for/loved soo much by you.

    We can all see that, i hope you can now see it too :D
     
  15. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
    Messages:
    8,288
    Likes Received:
    1,010
    No way.

    The love that you have for your girls shines through, and you always put them first. They are your life, you are theirs.

    And, possibly because of your mental health issues, you always analyse how you look after them, far more than another owner might.

    OK, so maybe sometimes you don't feel able to walk them as far as you might like - but they are always fed and cared for.

    None of us are perfect, all we can do is the best we can, and I truly believe that you are a shining example to other owners, in your absolute dedication to your girls.

    Yes, they will sense when you feel bad, but then they are family, and family sticks together.

    You are good for them, and they are good for you.
     
  16. shirleystarr

    shirleystarr PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2009
    Messages:
    8,386
    Likes Received:
    2,332
    CM you are one of the greatest owners I read your posts the love you feel for your girls come shining through all your posts
    Even when you feel ill and down you put your girls first and foremost
    Yes they can pick up when your on a good day and when your on a bad day, but they love which no matter what
    You take them out when you are feeling really ill when a lot of owners would not do what you do
    Do you know what you do? I will tell you.
    You always go that extra mile for your girls and a lot of us on her admire you for that
     
  17. tinaK

    tinaK PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2010
    Messages:
    6,489
    Likes Received:
    1,904
    Thanks all . I know I get like this when ill. I just don't want the girls to suffer. I love them so very much.

    Still feeling bloody awful. not sleeping much, as I was convinced someone is watching me. A feeling I've also had since Monday. Not eating much, or drinking enough fluid. Too low to even cry.

    Support worker came round unannounced the other day with new social worker. I was in a right mess. They were going to make an emergency P.Doc appointment, but heard nothing.

    Managed to take the girls for a walk a long the canal this afternoon. As long as they're OK
     
  18. springerpete

    springerpete PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    Messages:
    6,981
    Likes Received:
    187
    Couldn't have put it any better myself Alison.
     
  19. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
    Messages:
    8,288
    Likes Received:
    1,010
    I do hope that your support team live up their name and support you through this. Perhaps they can give you some meds that will help?

    There is no way that your girls will be suffering. Despite - or maybe because of - your illness, you are a very strong, united little unit.

    I am glad that you managed to go for a little walk. Fresh air will help. Do try to drink and eat when you can - little and often perhaps.

    I can't imagine what it must be like to feel that you are being watched, even if logically you know that you are not. At least you have the girls with you.

    You are a strong lady Cloversmum - a real fighter - hang on in there, and take any help that is offered - like other times, this dark, dark mood will pass.

    Take care XX
     
  20. springerpete

    springerpete PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    Messages:
    6,981
    Likes Received:
    187
    Stop beating yourself up. Dogs aren't judgemental , They love you for the care and attention you give them, I think most of us 'Dog owners ' would be considered to have problems by non dog owners, I know a few people who think I'm positively deranged getting up at six A.M. come rain, shine or biblical plagues of locusts to take my lads out for the early morning walk. Your dogs are obviously happy, well cared for and loved, they need nothing more.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice