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Advice appreciated...loss of cat

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Debbie1000, Dec 19, 2019.


  1. Debbie1000

    Debbie1000 PetForums Junior

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    Hi, would really appreciate some advice if anyone can help. I have just lost one of my beautiful boys. Did fantastic but unfortunately old age eventually got the better of him. I have another boy, who is younger and has spent his whole life with him, he seem to be really fretting and looking for him . What do I do, do I get him another friend or do I just comfort him????? Its so hard, they were inseparable and grear company as house cats and I work during the day. Hoping someone can offer me some advice. Thanks xxx
     
  2. Orla

    Orla PetForums VIP

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    Sorry for your loss. I haven’t dealt with this so can’t offer advice but didn’t want to read and run. Hopefully someone will be along shortly to advise xx
     
    Debbie1000 likes this.
  3. Bertie'sMum

    Bertie'sMum Obedient Cat Slave

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    So sorry to hear you have lost one of your boys.

    In my experience cats do seem to grieve for their "missing" friend. Our immediate reaction is to adopt another cat to take their place but don't rush into it - give it a little time for your remaining boy to come to terms with being an "only" and then make a decision.
     
  4. Willow_Warren

    Willow_Warren PetForums VIP

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    I’m sorry for your loss. Your boy will need time to grieve and realise that his friend isn’t coming back

    H x
     
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  5. Arny

    Arny PetForums Senior

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    So sorry for your loss. I too wouldn't rush into anything and if you choose to get another get one because you want to, in time your remaining guy will get used to being on his own.
    My last two cats were very close and when one passed the other did look for her but didn't last too long, around 2 weeks till she was back to her normal self.
     
    chillminx and Debbie1000 like this.
  6. Debbie1000

    Debbie1000 PetForums Junior

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    Thank you all for replies, am sure I am.not helping the situation as seem to be in tears most of time and sure he is picking up on it, gone from quite an independent little boy who was always playing with his big brother to watching and following my every move and just wants to be on my all the time. Find myself worrying all day when he is on his own. Just heart is broken, tried explaining to him his brother gone to special heaven for special cats xx
     
  7. Jackie C

    Jackie C Cat slave

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Cats pick up our emotions, and your cat can sense you're upset and maybe wants to comfort you as well. He's also grieving in his own way. It seems you are both a bit lost without your other cat. I hope you can find comfort in each other.

    I wouldn't rush into getting another cat, just yet. I would say it was too soon for both of you. Also, your current cat obviously got on well with his "brother", but you might not know how he will react with another cat, especially at this early stage. It might be worth thinking about in the future.

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can gain comfort and strength from your memories of him.
     
  8. jill3

    jill3 PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I have been in this predicament. I had a beautiful British Boy and also a British Girl Kitten. When i bought her home within 3 days they were inseparable. Everywhere he went she followed.
    At the age of 3 he had to be put to sleep as he has saddleback thrombosis.
    Poor Chloe was in a bad way. All week she couldn't sleep or eat. So one week later i adopted a 6 month old British. Although they do get on the friendship is not the same.
    She had a special friend and cannot be replaced.
    So if i was you I would give him as much comfort and company as you can. Maybe leave the radio on low whilst you are at work. Now the xmas Holidays are near you might have more time too.
    See how things go for the both of you and maybe in the spring think again.
    xx
     
    chillminx likes this.
  9. Mrs Brown

    Mrs Brown PetForums Member

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    66080248-stock-vector-made-of-red-heart-with-dog-paw-print-background-vector-illustration.jpg Very sorry to read of Debbie's sad time.

    I think if two cats have been inseparable then at some point after losing one it could indeed be a good idea to intoduce another but it goes without saying that a new cat can never replace the one who left. A new cat or kitten though can give a whole new lease of love to the owner which can go a long way to help with grieving the lost one.

    I lost two much loved cats this year and one only last week. A terrible time for me but my remaining cat was never particuarly affectionate with the others and though he knows something missing he is not grieving as far as I can tell.

    If I was 20 years younger I would be looking to bring at least one more cat into the home and the temptation to do that is enormous.

    You will make the right choice when you know it is time and I suspect it will not be very long!
     
    #9 Mrs Brown, Dec 20, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2019
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