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A Joke Before Bedtime.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Zaros, Mar 10, 2017.

  1. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

    Nov 24, 2009
    Likes Received:
    An Irishman was walking along the street one evening when all of a sudden he happened to stumble upon a sandwich with coloured electrical wires sticking out of it.
    He immediately phones the police. Be-Jaysus, Oy've just foind a sandwich and it looks loike a bamb' he desperately yells into his mobile.
    'Is it ticking?' asks the police operator. 'No, I don't tink it is' replied the Irishman. Oy tink it's mare your ham and cheese'

    Goodnight all.
    Lurcherlad, Matrod, noushka05 and 6 others like this.
  2. Ceiling Kitty

    Ceiling Kitty Hides away from much through humour...

    Mar 7, 2010
    Likes Received:
    *I'm not going to attempt to write accents, and no offence intended to any ethnicity!*

    An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were all construction workers on a high-rise, and would eat their lunch each day perched on a girder like in those old photographs.

    One day, as they took out their sandwiches, the Englishman sighed.

    "Not bloody cheese again. I hate cheese sandwiches! You know, if I have to eat one more cheese sandwich for lunch, I swear I'll throw myself off this girder!" he exclaimed.

    The Scotsman nodded sympathetically as he unwrapped his own lunch.

    "Damn it," he said. "It's Marmite again. I can't stand the stuff. You know, I'll join you: if I get Marmite again tomorrow, I'm going to jump off as well!"

    The Irishman was busily taking out his own lunch, but was soon to be disappointed as well.

    "Feck it, it's only bloody tomato in this sandwich! I hate tomatoes so much! I agree with you lads. If I open a tomato sandwich again this week, I'm going to throw myself off this girder too!" he lamented.

    The following week, after the funerals, the men's wives were sharing their grief. They had read the suicide notes, and couldn't believe what had happened.

    "I just don't understand," sobbed the Englishman's wife. "He always told me he liked the lunches I made him. If he'd only said he didn't like cheese, I would have made him something else!"

    The Scotsman's wife dabbed her eyes with her tissue. "I know. I can't comprehend it. If I'd known he hated Marmite so much, it would have been no trouble to make him a different type of sandwich!"

    The Irishman's wife was the most baffled of all.

    "I just don't get it," she said sadly. "He always packed his own lunch!"
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