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If you could give some advice to your younger self / yourself

2K views 43 replies 22 participants last post by  cheekyscrip 
#1 ·
What would it be?

I’m really struggling with my thoughts & having no one at all around/no one to talk to is really taking its toll. Trying to use my positive coping skills but I’ve slipped up a few times so I thought this would be nice

if you could give some advice to your younger self/ yourself, what would it be?
 
#21 ·
Such good advice but soooooo difficult to do. I have often pondered on 'worry' and why us humans do it - what useful purpose does it serve besides depriving us of sleep, interfering with eating habits and ultimately making us ill!!

In my improved human design model i would have

A 'worry-off' switch

And the ability to go to sleep and wake up fresh - a switch for that too please!
 
#9 ·
Also just remembered that when I was caring for my Mum (she had Alzheimer's and it was a very worrying and trying time and I often slept badly with everything going round in head) my mantra at bedtime became

"Give your worries to God he's going to be up all night anyway"
 
#12 ·
What would it be?

I'm really struggling with my thoughts & having no one at all around/no one to talk to is really taking its toll. Trying to use my positive coping skills but I've slipped up a few times so I thought this would be nice

if you could give some advice to your younger self/ yourself, what would it be?
This is slightly off the topic you are asking about but just wondered if it might help you at all.
Do you have a social prescriber in your area? We have one down here, she works alongside the doctor and signposts people to groups / help for social needs. I just wonder whether they could put you in touch with some groups or a befriending service so you could perhaps have video calls or phone calls to help you feel a bit less lonely.
I am in touch with her through my work and would happily ask her if she could suggest anyone in your area if you would like me to.
I hope you don't mind me suggesting this but I know it has really helped a lot of people down here who are struggling with social isolation.
 
#16 ·
hi I'm not sure. Just before lockdown my therapist got me "prescribed gym access but then lockdown hit. The only person at the moment I'm under is my care coordinator that rings me once a week. I am seeing her on Thursday instead as things haven't been good. I can ask her on Thursday if there's anything she can do via a social prescriber Thankyou!!! Means a lot for your help & advice :):):)
 
#14 ·
I would have told my younger self to get an education and a degree. Of course my mother told me that and I didn't listen. In lieu of higher education, I would have told myself to take that government job at 26, because then you could retire at 56 and do something fun. But at 26 I didn't want an "office job", I was still winging it and enjoying my "freedom" and now I'm 60, exhausted, and while I now have that government job, (7 1/2 years) even after I retire in 5 years I will still have to work, I will always have to work.
 
#15 ·
#18 ·
Where I live, the Council has been running a volunteer group all through the crisis to do things like shopping, keeping in touch with folks who are on their own and lots of other things. There are so many people out there who want to help others, particularly at the moment.

I joined a Covid-19 Community Support Group for our area back in March and it has proved such a help for so many people. There is someone out there who can help with absolutely anything, whether its something as simple as having your windows cleaned or for people who just want to have a rant about something or add cheery messages just to help people who are lonely or suffering, its been so brilliant. You could see if there is something like that in your area and, you never know, you might be able to help someone else with a problem.
 
#20 ·
Where I live, the Council has been running a volunteer group all through the crisis to do things like shopping, keeping in touch with folks who are on their own and lots of other things. There are so many people out there who want to help others, particularly at the moment.

I joined a Covid-19 Community Support Group for our area back in March and it has proved such a help for so many people. There is someone out there who can help with absolutely anything, whether its something as simple as having your windows cleaned or for people who just want to have a rant about something or add cheery messages just to help people who are lonely or suffering, its been so brilliant. You could see if there is something like that in your area and, you never know, you might be able to help someone else with a problem.
This was something else I was going to suggest. Through the last lockdown I was one of those on the end of the phone although I was passing details on to the volunteer coordinators rather than actually dealing with advice etc. However I know that for some people having their prescription or shopping dropped outside and a socially distanced chat with the volunteer was a real lifeline.
It may be worth having a look on your local council's website too, they may have a list of places to get help. I can pm you a link to the national help section I pulled together if you would like.
 
#27 ·
Loving your sage advice @Tigermoon !

I think also 'don't have regrets' is a good one. You just have to do the best you can in the circumstances you're in at any particular time.

Looking back now, i wish i'd started a good pension scheme back in my 20s. I did that bit wrong. But i got a lot else right. I dont know if id change too much if i were 20 again tbh.

It will be ok in the end
This is so true. No matter what crisis hits, it always is ok in the end. If you can hold onto that, good days always do come along again. Always!
 
#28 ·
Yes unfortunately I’m another one that’s going to say avoid certain men. If you think you can change them to be better guys you’re wrong..... they stay bad. Believe me.

Travel more (I travelled & worked in Israel when I was 21, I spent my 21st Birthday below ground crawling in a cave. Had the time of my life).
Had planned to travel across America but met a bad (nasty, horrid) guy who made me believe I was worthless.

I suffer with my mental health after suffering from a breakdown, the charity MIND was fantastic.
I do have a support worker but haven’t seen him since before the first lockdown, he does call me once a week but he’s kind of useless & I've not been strong enough to speak my mind.

Believe in yourself, you are a wonderful person.

If you can’t sleep because the ‘black dog’ is biting at you, write your thoughts down in a notebook.
The black dog is a name given for depression.
I’ve suffered for years on & off. Writhing things down has always helped me. Everything that’s popped into my head, worries that I may have, things that make/made me smile that day, Everything.
Go out buy a lovely notebook, a bright colourful one.
 
#29 ·
My advice to my younger self would be:
Do not marry the first guy who proposes just because you think no-one else will ever ask you (even if they don't, alone is not the worst thing to be)
Take any training that is offered, you never know when it will be useful
Follow your own dreams, and ignore the negative comments and anyone who only pulls you down
You can do so much more than you believe, if you only try
 
#30 ·
If I’m being brutally honest, my advice to my younger self would be to do everything exactly the same, just remember happy times will come. After some truely awful times in my younger years I am now married to the most wonderful man and I have a good life (illness aside!!).
Only thing perhaps might be don’t go on the pill and don’t use that pocket for your phone.... whether that would have prevented the bc growing I don’t know....
 
#36 ·
I would definitely agree with those people who have recommended having some sort of a journal. I started with a sort of me version of bullet journalling coincidentally at the start of this year and it has turned into a lockdown journal. I have a page for each day day and at the top I write my to-do list for that day using a bullet journal system and then underneath it I write what I did for that day day and then once a month I I print out small pictures from my phone and stick them into it. Naturally you get to choose a very pretty notepad or diary and I have also bought myself lots of pretty stickers to decorate it with because you are never too old for stickers. I don't imagine anyone will ever want to publish it and there are a fair few blank pages from over the summer when when there was quite honestly nothing I wanted to look back and remember never mind write about but at least I can put some photos in those pages when I am ready. Of my cats naturally.
I also have some newspaper clippings in there of big events and there is also one poem I wrote When I Was very lost but it reminds me to keep looking forward.
 
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