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What would you do?

986 views 19 replies 7 participants last post by  HMercedes 
#1 ·
So to cut a very long story short. I live in Germany now but previously lived in the UK. I got my dog spayed in the UK and we were due to go back to Germany a couple of weeks after. Unfortunately the spay wound ruptured and my dog had to have emergency surgery a few days before we were meant to fly. My good friend agreed to take her while she recovered and I would fly back in a few weeks to pick her up.
Then covid Hit and we were stuck in lockdown. I then had major pregnancy complications which landed me on hospital bed rest for weeks and unable to fly. I am finally due to go back at get my dog after 6 long months and people are pressuring me to leave her with my friend and her young son who has obviously got very attached :(

i feel so awful for causing this stress to a young child (he’s 13) and I just feel so torn. Doubly so because I brought the dog with my mums inheritance money after she died.. I also had to get my mums dog (whom I adopted) put down and fell into quite a deep depression. Getting Harley, my lovely King Charles pulled me out of one of the darkest places I’ve ever been in. She has a very sentimental meaning to me as well as being my best friend and fur baby. I just feel so torn and awful for hurting my friends son and I guess I’m just looking for advice about what you would do in this situation?
 
#2 ·
Hi.

This isn't about your friend's son, and it's got nothing to do with "people". This is between you and your friend. Find out what she says, what her thoughts are on the matter, then take it from there. It could be that she's ready for you to take the dog back.

Me? Well, what I would have done isn't helpful to you, but seeing as you asked... I wouldn't have boarded a plane without my dog/s. Either I'd have waited to get the surgery done in Germany, or cancelled/rearranged the flight.
 
#4 ·
My friend of course wants to reunite her with me, but she will also miss her understandably. My dog was in a life and death situation and the surgery could not of waited until I got back to Germany, not only was she unfit to fly, her internal organs came out of her spay wound and she would have died if I had not taken her for emergency surgery immediately. I guess you don't have young children in a foreign country waiting on your return or a job to start... and therefore have the flexibility of just cancelling flights and waiting for weeks for your dogs recovery, sadly I don't have the same flexibility and wasn't in a position to do that otherwise I would have :(
 
#3 ·
Personally I would bring your dog home.
They could have had their own dog but don't for whatever reason or they could decide to get their own dog now they've had the joy of looking after one.

I moved country for nearly 4 years (was meant to be shorter) leaving behind my 3 cats with 2 very generous and caring people. They knew I would have my cats back when I returned.
As soon as I got home I got my cats.
 
#5 ·
Personally I would bring your dog home.
They could have had their own dog but don't for whatever reason or they could decide to get their own dog now they've had the joy of looking after one.

I moved country for nearly 4 years (was meant to be shorter) leaving behind my 3 cats with 2 very generous and caring people. They knew I would have my cats back when I returned.
As soon as I got home I got my cats.
Thanks for replying. It's comforting to know, I am being made to feel selfish for wanting my dog back despite all that she means to me. I know I will take her home with me as life has been so empty without her, I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not an evil selfish person for wanting her back - as was always planned!
 
#9 ·
I agree with what everybody else has said. You mustn't let your friend guilt you into giving up your dog just because it'll make her son sad if you don't.

His parents should have made it clear to him that your dog was only staying with them on a temporary basis. So he should be able to deal with parting with the dog and they should help him through that process if he's finding it hard to say goodbye.

You shouldn't have to go through the heartache of giving up your dog just because your friend is making you feel uncomfortable about the situation.

It sounds like you're trying to do the best you can for your family, your dog and yourself. Putting your friend's son's feelings before the best interests of your family, your dog and yourself doesn't seem right.

Wishing you the best of luck!
 
#12 ·
Thank you so much for your reply you have really made me feel better about this. My friend is actually being fine, she knows I love and miss her whilst recognising her son will find this really hard :( but has been open to him from the beginning that she will be coming back with me. But it's actually my family and in laws who are pressuring me to give the dog away (they are not animal people) and making me feel guilting for breaking the boys heart and equally incapable of caring for my children and dog at the same time?! ah god, I digress, but thank you so much for your reply, it means a lot ❤
 
#20 ·
Ah sorry, I misunderstood!

Regardless of your in laws' views on animals, this is your family, your dog and your life. Plenty of people have dogs and raise kids at the same time.

Hope her journey home goes smoothly!
No need to apologise! And thank you, we are all
Finally home and I am so glad to have her back with me, I've missed my furry best friend xx
 
#18 ·
Most stuff has been said.

The 13 year old boy will soon be out with his friends, studying, going on to college/uni, and so on, and will get over it anyway. Or they can get him his own dog if that’s the way they want to go.

Your dog should be with you and how guilty would you feel if you ‘abandoned’ her?

I don’t understand why anybody would say differently.
 
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