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Caroline Flack

7K views 105 replies 20 participants last post by  kimthecat 
#1 ·
#12 ·
The Daily Mail published 17 stories about her since the assault and 25 since NY. And on Twitter it's been called trial by social media... nope, trial by Media.

It's incredibly sad. I have no interest at all in these awful reality shows so she's not someone I know of well but to be so young and vibrant and to feel so much agony and pain is heartbreaking.

I've experienced in a tiny way, trolling in my city after I wrote about miscarriage and childlessness. It was horrendous and set back my recovery because the paper simply wanted a story, they did nothing to protect my mental health or moderate comments.
 
#19 ·
There’s been this call to stop buying the newspapers who taunted her the most but the more people also share the headlines which act as click bait, the newspapers make money which increases figures which increases ad revenue. If there is to be a boycott people need to get more savvy about media. It’s not just print it’s links and online.
 
#25 ·
There is a very moving tribute from Laura Whitmore on Radio 5 which I've linked below. I can't help think it needs to precede every thread here too. I've gone to bed feeling upset but this place and I'm sure but wish I was wrong, that I've caused upset to others. Be kind. And maybe walk away. I have done that elsewhere on PF today and respect that people have the right to do that.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p083kr4p
 
#28 ·
A lot of people think the abuse played a large part in it. The Sun ran 4 different articles about her the day before she died. And none of them were complimentary. Piers Morgan has had a go at her quite often online and on TV. And of course each artice and Tweet carries a lot of nasty replies about how ugly and stupid and vacuous she was. And this is daily, pretty much.

And yes, you can say that she could have not used Twitter or any social media but the stuff can still get into your view. People talk about it, newspapers are still sold in shops. It can appear almost anywhere.

And social media can be a force for good. I use it a lot for local stuff like our FB community page and Nextdoor.com. Just because someone is famous, why should they have to avoid using something the rest of us can use without so much worry? And I don't follow anyone who is involved in GMB or Flack or Love Island or any of the reality shows or gossip sites but I still see this kind of abuse handed out. Most often to women. Men do come in for some stick but nothing on the level of what famous women get.
 
#32 ·
This is a set of Tweets from Secret Barrister. He or she oftens Tweet some sense about legal issues when it seems everyone else on Twitter is losing their minds,



As is said on the thread, the problem with social media is that it reduces everyone to either a villian or a hero. Human relationships are far more complicated than that. There is a domestic abuse charge at the centre of this and that in itself can be a situation fraught with complexity and problems. It's not always about monsters and victims. Unless you're posting about it on Twitter or flapping your gums on GMB.
 
#33 ·
Plus what is said on social and mainstream media affect how other people see you. Famous people are people firstly. They meet others, they have work to do, they go out. And if total strangers treat you like you're a brainless amoral bint because that's what the media say you are, then that has to affect your mental health.

You only have to look at the Harry and Meghan thread on here to see how many people made up their minds about Meghan without having met her. And the thread on here was pretty kind compared to what happened on Twitter.

It's easy to forget they are real people. I've done it myself. Started thinking of someone's real life as a soap opera.
 
#34 ·
Another problem with social media is that people don't get prosecuted as often as they should for hate crime, contempt of court, malicious communications, incitement to violence, and cyberbullying. There is no incentive for the owners and operatives to control their content, and it would appear, as with the Sun, people like reading it and will pay for it to continue.
 
#38 ·
They use social media and the press to their advantage, then it turns on them. I feel for her ex-boyfriend, family and friends, but as they say "live by the sword die by the sword", you only have to remember Princess Diana.

Still something that should never have happened.
 
#40 ·
They use social media and the press to their advantage, then it turns on them. I feel for her ex-boyfriend, family and friends, but as they say "live by the sword die by the sword", you only have to remember Princess Diana.

Still something that should never have happened.
I don't believe that people should be hounded to their deaths just because lots of people know their name. I use social media a lot. I don't believe it's such an evil thing to do that I deserve to be driven to commit suicide.
 
#44 · (Edited)
thing is, theyll do it, whilst the joe in the street continues to circle just outside the pack, to pick up the titilating scraps they leave behind
this is why i dont by any magazines or papers any more
and
took a long look at social media sites and pages i belong to, for what not only were they doing to me, but for me too
I realised that many were only destroying my chi, and feeding my sa/si chi, so out they went
i dont want them
i dont need them
I chose to feed my chi instead and feel better for it

many people live for the fact that
no matter how bad their life is,
theres someone out there thats worse off,
thats what makes them happy and able to get out of bed in the morning
and
thats what causes the popularity of reading about anothers downfall

if paps are wolves
then the readers are the vultures

edit cos i realised id left some words out, which made the sentence nonsensical
 
#48 ·
I absolutely detest the phrase "they knew what they're going in for". WTAF? She became a presenter to a tv show. At some point this person sat her school exams, at some point this person was trying to decide what they will do about higher education, they chose their first ever job, they got their second job... a couple of decades later and various life choices later they are on TV, with thousands of people knowing their name. Along all of this social media was created and opened up the endless possibilities of how sad, bitter people can lash out after experiencing some sort of failures in their own lives. Just because she ended up in a career that put her in the public eye and open to criticism and scrutiny from absolute strangers, does not mean that she deserved it. I'm sure there were plenty of reasons for her career choice. Maybe she was crap at academic stuff and through various job experiences got to this position, maybe she always wanted to be on tv and made conscious and well thought out choices to get there. Maybe she was just a pretty girl in school and wanted to be popular and on TV. The bottom line is that no one deserves the abuse on social media. They can be a tv presenter, a reality tv participant, a singer, a politician, a porn star - no one should have to deal with that crap just because "they knew what they're going in for" or "that's part of the job". If someone started saying that about the homeless on the street, most people would go crazy. That should apply following this logic, right? If you don't want to be sitting on the street wet and cold, getting ignored by thousands of passing people every single day, starve... well, you should've made a different life choice then. You knew what you're going in for when you were just teetering on the verge of becoming unemployed and then homeless.
Doctors and nurses shouldn't be complaining about their long hours and pay - they knew what they're going in for. Teachers not happy about their pay and increasing work load? Should've chosen a different career. Actresses and singers unhappy about their bodies and personal lives judged by strangers? Should've chosen accountancy. Vets one of the professions with highest rates of suicides? Should've thought before choosing the jobs.
 
#51 ·
I agree to an extent but so many celebrities use the media for their gains yet can't cope when the news regarding them isn't so positive. Whilst I am not condoning the media constantly hounding someone I do think that they can't have their cake & eat it. I know that sounds harsh but IMO these people lead very privileged lifestyles so must be aware of the pitfalls of posting so much of their private lives on social media or learn how to use it better.

Also, I am confused as to why there seems to be blame being placed for Caroline Flack's death on either bullying on social media, negative stories in the tabloid press or the CPS who were going to press charges regarding the assault case …. no-one knows the real cause of her death but it does seem as if she was troubled for some time (again only going what has been written about her).

This morning I have seen so many ''be kind' memes on social media & tbh I find it a bit nauseating. Maybe that's me being a cynical, old b@stard but why not just be kinder to people, just be nicer rather than posting on social media ….
 
#49 ·
It’s very sad and tragic that someone would feel so desperate and unhappy that they would take their own life :(

It’s also a very strange situation given the fact police were called by the boyfriend who then said she wasn’t guilty of the charge. Now he’s acting like her champion - all very odd.

I’m not sure that the show Love Island can be held responsible though as this situation occurred in her private life. She was the presenter, not a participant. Given the charge it wasn’t unreasonable to replace her.

The Press, Media and internet hounding and abuse will have contributed to her stress and anxiety though and that definitely needs controlling.
 
#56 ·
It's very sad and tragic that someone would feel so desperate and unhappy that they would take their own life :(

It's also a very strange situation given the fact police were called by the boyfriend who then said she wasn't guilty of the charge. Now he's acting like her champion - all very odd.

.
Its classic victim behaviour , that's why the law was changed as many victims refused to prosecute and often went back to their partners.
Caroline denied it too .
As there isn't going to be a trial , I guess we will never know the truth.
If this happened with an older man and a young woman victim , I bet the view would be different and Me Too hash tags flying around.

It seems her previous ex sent an ambulance to her house the year before as he was worried she had overdosed. Her management said he did it out of spite. They had a toxic relationship too.
 
#58 ·
And of course every “celebrity” who ever knew her has to post something more dramatically “heartfelt” than the previous one.

I don’t understand the need for the public outpourings tbh.

I don’t do Facebook and the like so when I lost my parents it was all very private and personal.

People who knew us sent a condolence card or popped round.
 
#60 ·
I honestly believe my peers and I were brought up to be much more robust tbh.

I’ve seen it with some of my son’s peers, whose parents manage every aspect of their lives and protect them from any conflict or minor difficulty.

Unfortunately, I think it can sometimes leave people unable to cope with the “big bad World” out there.

Of course, when we were growing up we were safe from the outside World at home. Now, people can be under the cosh 24/7.

It sounds easy to say “don’t engage” but we know that’s not so easy for some.
 
#61 ·
I honestly believe my peers and I were brought up to be much more robust tbh.
Perhaps :)
Or perhaps we just have some unhealthy coping mechanisms :D

But I know what you mean. I think it's the inevitable pendulum swing from latchkey kids raising themselves, to helicopter parenting.
I think we've become confused, and in wanting to protect our kids from all the 'dangers' of the world, we've forgotten to show them how to actually live in the world.

Or put another way, my mom was one of those 'throw them in the pool, they'll learn to swim or sink' types. Whereas now, a lot of parents have the mentality more to get rid of all pools lest a child fall in and drown.

There has to be a happy medium between 'sink or swim' and 'ban all pools'. And there is. Teach children to swim. Support and supervise them while they're learning, help them hone their skills, and eventually they will learn to navigate the water on their own.
The problem is, teaching, supporting, and supervising sounds a lot like work, and time and effort. And we all know how everyone feels about that ;)

As an aside, I remember it was on here that I casually mentioned on of my kids climbing a tree and several posters being horrified that I allowed them to climb trees and run around barefoot. I seriously never occurred to me that tree climbing was a bad idea for children. Barefoot has its hazards, I do know that, but the tetanus shot is a wonderful thing :D
Now I'll have to go back and see if I can find that thread :)
 
#65 ·
Regarding bulling on social media I do realise it goes on, some bullying is sickening & relentless showing just how vile some people can really be but it easier to step away sometimes much more so than in RL. Also it seems some people confuse bullying or trolling with others just disagreeing with them or having a different opinion.

I had this the other night, I had a different opinion to someone who couldn't take it & despite me giving facts to back up my view he swore at me, became very aggressive then pm'ed me telling me women like me deserved a punch …. oh he was an ethical vegan btw :rolleyes: :D

So I forwarded his messages to the group admin & to his GF & a couple of his friends on his list :D
 
#66 ·
Also it seems some people confuse bullying or trolling with others just disagreeing with them or having a different opinion.
Definitely. We seems to bandy the term bullying about but not every unpleasant interaction is bullying.

Disagreement is not bullying.
Rudeness and lack of social skills is not bullying.
Name calling is not bullying.

Bullying is repeated threatening behavior intending a specific outcome usually including an imbalance of power.
 
#77 ·
It might sound cruel, a famous person has committed suicide and I feel for everyone involved, but three days on, do we really need it all over the news.
 
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#86 ·
I'm conflicted over all of this and probably won't word this well, and it is very sad that someone has killed themselves and left a family grieving, but if feels like she is almost being held up as a saint now she has died, and whilst the press coverage hasn't been great before and after, there must be a market for it, as in people must be clicking on the stories and commenting as I'm guessing it's all down to the click rate on these things so if no interest then the stories drop down the page and off into the ether never to be reported on again.

I'm not on twitter or instagram and don't really have an interest in them, but the incessant postings by famous people and 'influencers' showing off their lifestyles, their carefree lives, all the excess and trappings of fame, the hugely photoshopped pictures of women in their undies and bikini's showing off just how great their lives are, then get precious when called out at times on things, and I have to questions the motives of the postings in the first place, as to me it's blatant showing off 9/10 it's not aspirational as some will claim as it's just not achievable for most, who for the most support these people on their way up, and whilst they don't necessarily deserve the death threats and abuse thrown at them most of the time, the constant bragging must wear thin, but if you promote yourself constantly showing off your 'life' or at least the carefully constructed life in pictures and post about your love life, then yes I think it will backfire when it goes wrong and I know the papers picked up on her last tumultuous relationship which seemed to be be played out on twitter or instagram with them both posting about each other and their short comings, so I would say of course the papers are going to be interested when you get arrested for domestic violence.

I also struggle with the double standards in some respects if she had been a he arrested for DV then I sure many more women would be baying for her blood but because she is she it's almost as if allowances have to be made because she is/was a small woman and he is a man 'grrr' who couldn't defend himself against her, yet he was the one who called the police in the first place, and if reports at the time were to be believed I think it was recorded that she attacked the police/resisted arrest and was recorded on their body cams and she concerned this was going to be shown in court, which whilst the press coverage hasn't been great about her, ultimately it was her own behaviour that seems to have been the catalyst to all this. I find the friend 'releasing' the last known photo to press distasteful in least and all the 'celebs' now posting about their grief for her but really it's all about them and how they did or didn't do enough for her, I feel very sorry for her family though, but ultimately she is responsible for her own actions.
 
#87 ·
I agree that celebs do have to take some responsibility for their actions as we all do. But I honestly believe that showing off doesn't deserve the kind of abuse a lot of them get. Being told by a total stranger that they hope your children die of cancer after you have posted a photo of them winning a prize and said how happy you are can't be right, can it? And I have seen that myself.

Jess Phillips is an MP. She uses Twitter quite a lot and some of the abuse she gets is absolutely horrendous. I follow her cos I find her interesting and funny. But I very rarely look at the comments cos I know a lot of them will make me feel sick. She isn't showing off her wonderful life, she's talking about politics and family and TV and all kinds of stuff. And yet she has been called all sorts of disgusting things, including the C word.

The husband of Rev Richard Coles died last winter. Rev Coles had so-called 'Christians' telling him that his beloved husband was burning in hell. On the same thread that he posted about the loss of David.

I agree that people should get called out for bad behaviour but not like this. SM companies really really need to do something about their moderation.
 
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