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Anyone going through the same thing?

5K views 78 replies 19 participants last post by  5r6ubertbe6y 
#1 ·
After some serious health issues (Hyperthyroidism and Triaditis) my 18 year old cat Thomas, has been diagnosed with Intestinal Lymphoma and Pancreatic Cancer.

Our vet is lovely, but has said there is nothing we can do to make Thomas better. We are making him comfortable with palliative care.

He has been having a jab every 3 days, and we now have Prednicare pills to give him at home. He doesn’t appear to be in any pain, just a bit more sleepy than usual and is still enjoying his food.

My heart is breaking at the thought of having to say goodbye to him. I found him when he was a tiny kitten when I was 18. He is the first pet I have had that has just been mine (I had a dog as a child).

I was wondering if anyone is going through or has been through a similar thing, and maybe has some advice?
Thank you x
 
#2 ·
Hi there Angela. I've never personally lost a pet. There is plenty lovely people on here who have been in your situation, I'm sure they will reply with some great advice.
I'm so so sorry your going through this. You have this time to say goodbye and show him love and care. 18 years is such a long time to be together, I'm happy you had all these years with him. Through the good and the bad.

I know someone on here recently lost her boy and she contacted the pet bereavement call line when she was ready. I'm sorry I'm not much help, but know your not alone. Ever need to chat this is the place to come. You and your boy, Thomas will be in my prayers. Sending lots of love to you and Thomas, furry ones to him from my lot.

Do you have any pictures of your boy you could share?

Eilidh xxxx
 
#3 ·
Sadly, yes I have lost pets over the years :(

It’s a horrible time but luckily our cats and dogs have always lived to good ages before they have been taken ill.

Our vets have always been wonderful at dealing with our animals (and us) at these difficult times, but ultimately, we have to make that final decision - which is never easy.

We question our decision - should we have waited, etc.

All I would say is that, given how stoic animals are and that hiding pain and weakness is a survival technique, it’s better for them to be a week early letting them go - rather than a day too late.

Love and spoil him while you can and he’s comfortable :)

When the time comes, take comfort in the fact he had a great life with you and was obviously one of the lucky ones to have a loving, safe home.

You’ll feel very sad and lost for a while but it will get easier - trust me ;)

Sorry you’re having to deal with this - take care x
 
#5 ·
Aw @angela he is such a handsome boy, beautiful colours. Please take time for yourself too, if you ever want to chat just message me or write your thoughts down. Someone found that really helpful recently, like writing a diary. I hope you can take some solace in knowing he loves you and he's had a great life with you for 18 years.
Honestly can't imagine what your going through. My heart is breaking for you. Give him lots of love and furry hugs from myself and my lot.
Eilidh xx
 
#6 ·
I'm so sorry you've had bad news about your dear boy, he's a really beautiful cat. I've lost many cats over the years and all you can do is take one day at a time and make all the remainng moments precious with Thomas. Your heart aches knowing you can't do anything to make things better and time is limited I know, especially as he has been a big part of your life for so long. When the time comes, remember you are doing the kindest thing letting him go when he is too tired to carry on. Please keep talking on here if you need to, we all understand.
 
#7 ·
Thomas is gorgeous and obviously much loved, he will feel this love for sure as you feel the love from him, this never ever fades.

I have been in your situation, nothing prepares you for the horrible feeling of having to let go and nothing can help you feel better.

Take each day as it comes and one day only you will know when, you will do what’s right for Thomas. It’s the last tiny piece of love you can offer your boy.
Yes your heart will break and the feeling is just awful, in time you will be glad you made the decision to help Thomas sleep. Keep thinking of that word, sleep!

As others have said please stay talking with us, most of us have been through this so will understand all your feelings.


Sending all my love and prayers
 
#8 ·
Hi Angela, I am so sorry to hear this sad news about Thomas, bless the dear boy. I second Charity's good advice to take one day at a time and make what time you have left with Thomas as special and memorable as possible.

It has caused me great anguish over the years to part with my much loved cat companions. I have found it hard to judge when is the right time to say "goodbye" to each one. As Lurcherlad has said "better a week too early than a day too late" and I do keep this in mind whenever one of my cats has been in the final stages of their life, but it can be fearsomely difficult to let them go. It means completely putting aside one's own emotional needs and longings.

Thomas sounds like a gorgeous fellow and it is lovely that his life with you has been long and happy. He has given you his affection and his loyalty, and what an amazing gift that is! We are so fortunate to share our lives with our wonderful cat companions who add so much to the quality of our lives.

Thinking of you with much sympathy Angela,

Love to your handsome, beloved boy Thomas xx
 
#12 ·
Hi Angela I am so sorry for what you are going through, having had cats all my life I have lost quite a few cats over the years each one under different circumstances my Persian boy had a congenital illness where his kidneys and bladder had fused together, he had been taken to the vets for a routine check when this was discovered I took him in on the following day to have xrays I had a call from the vets who asked me while ive got him on the table under general anaesthetic did I want him to open Bertie up to see how bad this was, that was a call I wish I hadn't had I said yes Bertie died 2 days later I thought if I hadn't have said yes I would have had him a little while longer, I agree with all the comments made to you there is no way of knowing what is the correct thing to do as a cat lover I am sure you will do the right thing by yourself and your beloved boy Thomas I am sending all my love to you both, Xxx
 
#13 ·
After some serious health issues (Hyperthyroidism and Triaditis) my 18 year old cat Thomas, has been diagnosed with Intestinal Lymphoma and Pancreatic Cancer.

Our vet is lovely, but has said there is nothing we can do to make Thomas better. We are making him comfortable with palliative care.

He has been having a jab every 3 days, and we now have Prednicare pills to give him at home. He doesn't appear to be in any pain, just a bit more sleepy than usual and is still enjoying his food.

My heart is breaking at the thought of having to say goodbye to him. I found him when he was a tiny kitten when I was 18. He is the first pet I have had that has just been mine (I had a dog as a child).

I was wondering if anyone is going through or has been through a similar thing, and maybe has some advice?
Thank you x
I'm so sorry to hear about your precious boy Thomas.

Yes my Jennie was diagnosed with colon cancer just over a month ago. The goal is to keep her comfortable for as long as she wants to be here now. I've just had to up the ante on her meds. For a month piroxicam and gabapentin were doing the job, but over the weekend she began to fail a bit. She's now additionally on Cerenia and buprenex and I have appetite stimulant if needed. She's getting fluids every few days as well to keep her kidneys flushed, especially on days she doesn't want to eat.

Once putting her on the additional meds she's back to happy and feeling well. When she isn't, I've promised her, I'll let her go join my other Angels. While I'm careful to stay positive and cheerful at home, I do take a moment every day to talk to her about it, telling her to be sure and tell me when she's had enough and I will send her off.

When I need to cry I go out to my car.
 
#14 ·
Hi @lorilu, thanks for replying. Sorry for what you are going through with Jennie, it's so hard.

I also try not to cry in front of Thomas, although sometimes it just happens, so I go into a different room.

I think Thomas is comfortable at the moment (at least I hope he is). How do manage to give Jennie Buprenex? Thomas was having none of it. I'm worried that if the medication he's on now stops working we are pretty much out of options because he can be very difficult and stubborn.

I am going to talk to Thomas about what is going on, I think it will be good for both of us.
Thank you for sharing your experiences x
 
#16 ·
After some serious health issues (Hyperthyroidism and Triaditis) my 18 year old cat Thomas, has been diagnosed with Intestinal Lymphoma and Pancreatic Cancer.

Our vet is lovely, but has said there is nothing we can do to make Thomas better. We are making him comfortable with palliative care.

He has been having a jab every 3 days, and we now have Prednicare pills to give him at home. He doesn't appear to be in any pain, just a bit more sleepy than usual and is still enjoying his food.

My heart is breaking at the thought of having to say goodbye to him. I found him when he was a tiny kitten when I was 18. He is the first pet I have had that has just been mine (I had a dog as a child).

I was wondering if anyone is going through or has been through a similar thing, and maybe has some advice?
Thank you x
So sorry ❤ I haven't been through the same thing as you but couldn't pass by without saying how sorry I am to read about Thomas and sorry for the heartbreaking time you are going through. You and Thomas are in my thoughts xxx
 
#20 ·
One of our cats was diagnosed with intestinal cancer at 17. We did operate to do a biopsy and remove as much as possible but couldn’t take it all - and it was malignant.

He was quite bright at the time so we took him home and used meds to control his symptoms.

One thing that really helped was an injection of B12 every week or so. It gave him a bit more energy and increased his appetite a little.

Ben lasted 3 months and the quality of life was pretty good until just the last week.

In those 3 months he ate all his favourite foods and did exactly whatever he wanted. We just tried to make him feel as loved and special and happy as we could. He was spoiled rotten.

When I realised he was suffering at the end I booked the vet to come to the house the next day. However I realised he couldn’t wait that long so had to bring it forward. He had stopped eating and didn’t really know what he wanted to do with himself. He looked as if he couldn’t get comfortable.

I am glad he had the time with us after the Op and I am pretty sure he left this world knowing he was loved, safe and cared for.

I hope you have some quality time with Thomas now. Spoil him rotten, give him whatever he wants. He will feel really loved safe and cared for and ultimately that’s all a cat wants.

I am so sorry that it has come to this and wish you strength.

Keep us updated as to how you are both doing.
 
#23 ·
One of our cats was diagnosed with intestinal cancer at 17. We did operate to do a biopsy and remove as much as possible but couldn't take it all - and it was malignant.

He was quite bright at the time so we took him home and used meds to control his symptoms.

One thing that really helped was an injection of B12 every week or so. It gave him a bit more energy and increased his appetite a little.

Ben lasted 3 months and the quality of life was pretty good until just the last week.

In those 3 months he ate all his favourite foods and did exactly whatever he wanted. We just tried to make him feel as loved and special and happy as we could. He was spoiled rotten.

When I realised he was suffering at the end I booked the vet to come to the house the next day. However I realised he couldn't wait that long so had to bring it forward. He had stopped eating and didn't really know what he wanted to do with himself. He looked as if he couldn't get comfortable.

I am glad he had the time with us after the Op and I am pretty sure he left this world knowing he was loved, safe and cared for.

I hope you have some quality time with Thomas now. Spoil him rotten, give him whatever he wants. He will feel really loved safe and cared for and ultimately that's all a cat wants.

I am so sorry that it has come to this and wish you strength.

Keep us updated as to how you are both doing.
Thank you huckbuck, and I'm sorry about poor Ben. He sounds like he was very loved!

I will definitely take your advice on board. Xx
 
#29 ·
He's a beautiful puss cat. He's been with you for the entirety of your adulthood! This is going to be a tough time. Nothing is can say will make this easier for you.
He knows you love him and have given him a wonderful life.
I have been through this 3 times and each time was very hard. Gripper was the oldest at 15, he was PTS because of FKF and I was 13 when I adopted him and I was 29 when we lost him.
Buttons was barely out of kittenhood when she disappeared and our first cat was 13 when he was PTS with FKF.

Keep in touch with the forum because we can support your through this difficult time. X
 
#31 ·
Give your boy an extra big cuddle from me when he gets up, be needing it after his wee outburst, as we said who can blame him... They can't express their frustration, mine freak out at the vets so after everything he's going through I can understand. I'm going to get a few hours. Will pm later tomorrow. Please try and get a few yourself. You must be knackered. I admire you, really do. Thomas is lucky to have a companion such as yourself who cares as much as you do.
Speak soon
Love and massive hugs. Xxxx
 
#32 · (Edited)
but I have put it on my girl's gums (obviously as instructed by my vet) for nearly 5 years and it has literally saved her life.
Do you use a syringe?

The bupe I get from the vet I believe is the injectible form. They mix it to the proper concentration with sterile water and put it in syringes. It takes a long time because it can only be done when the person (me) comes to pick up the med. It's terribly expensive, $10 (USD) a syringe.

One of the vet techs has contacted me about getting the medicine from a compounding pharmacy. She has found one for me and the savings will be huge,. Not only that I can get a 3 month supply (for $75) at a time so not always worrying about running out.

"It's winter, what if the weather is bad and I can't get up to the vet for her meds" is constantly in my mind. This will make my life so much better.

@Angela_ I hope you can find it in liquid form. Ask the vet about compounding pharmacies maybe? Or search on line. The other benefit to me with the addition of the buprenex is I can have sort of life again. The gabapentin has to be given at 8 hour intervals. Going over 8 hours doesn't work, because if you don't stay on top of the pain, it is difficult to manage at all. So I have to keep her on my work day schedule which is 6 a.m., 2 pm 10 pm.

This means on a Saturday I can't go anywhere that will keep me away past 2 pm. Now, with the buperenex, I can. I can give her a dose of bupe which will keep her comfortable even after the gab wears off, until I get home. She's allowed the bupe twice a day and so far I've only been using it once every other day, on the evening she doesn't have the piroxicam.

Today is my first try with having a life again, using the bupe for the over lap. I am so happy to be able to have a hike with my sister. And a few other plans coming up in the next few weeks I won't have to cancel, now.

PS Just to clarify something about the gabapentin dosing. If Jennie gets her gab at 4:00 pm when I get home today, (2 hours late) and then I give it again at 10 to get her back on schedule, that's okay too, because she can have it at early as 6 hours apart when needed. I cleared that with the IM vet in the beginning.
 
#36 ·
Sorry to hear about Thomas, Angela. You're obviously heart-broken, he's been part of you for all your adult life, and he's always been there for you, through sad times and happy times. It's a bond that you don't want to break.
I truly believe that cats love us in their own way, and I know they feel the love we give them back. You'll know when he's had enough, you'll know when it's time to say goodbye, but it's such a hard decision.
I know words can't give you strength or heal the pain, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that we understand what you're going through. x
 
#37 ·
NOAH does not list buprenex, so, if you are in the UK, buprenorphine is available as Vetergesic for veterinary use. I have a prescription for vials because the multidose that many vets use has preservative which makes it less palatable to cats. It is intended as an injection but I have put it on my girl's gums (obviously as instructed by my vet) for nearly 5 years and it has literally saved her life.
Yes I am in the uk, it was Bupre...something lol, it was a small pill we were supposed to keep under his tongue, but there's just no way he would entertain it!
 
#40 ·
One of our cats was diagnosed with intestinal cancer at 17. We did operate to do a biopsy and remove as much as possible but couldn't take it all - and it was malignant.

He was quite bright at the time so we took him home and used meds to control his symptoms.

One thing that really helped was an injection of B12 every week or so. It gave him a bit more energy and increased his appetite a little.

Ben lasted 3 months and the quality of life was pretty good until just the last week.

In those 3 months he ate all his favourite foods and did exactly whatever he wanted. We just tried to make him feel as loved and special and happy as we could. He was spoiled rotten.

When I realised he was suffering at the end I booked the vet to come to the house the next day. However I realised he couldn't wait that long so had to bring it forward. He had stopped eating and didn't really know what he wanted to do with himself. He looked as if he couldn't get comfortable.

I am glad he had the time with us after the Op and I am pretty sure he left this world knowing he was loved, safe and cared for.

I hope you have some quality time with Thomas now. Spoil him rotten, give him whatever he wants. He will feel really loved safe and cared for and ultimately that's all a cat wants.

I am so sorry that it has come to this and wish you strength.

Keep us updated as to how you are both doing.
This is really helpful to me, thank you for posting it. I have refused to think about the "how long" with my Jennie, just taking it one day at a time, but I do wonder, when she gets to that point, what to expect. The gabapentin and piroxicam only kept her comfortable for just over a month before she needed heavier drugs. Now we've added the buprenex and Cerenia (anti-nausea) and she is comfortable and eating again. Thank you for sharing precious Ben's story. It does help to have an idea what will happen.

Like Ben, Jennie is getting the royal treatment. xxx

Was there any change in his stool as he began to go down to the end?
 
#41 ·
This means on a Saturday I can't go anywhere that will keep me away past 2 pm. Now, with the buperenex, I can. I can give her a dose of bupe which will keep her comfortable even after the gab wears off, until I get home. She's allowed the bupe twice a day and so far I've only been using it once every other day, on the evening she do

@lorilu I'm glad that tiny bit of worry has been lifted, even just to give you time, if even for a little bit. You can take sometime for yourself too, it's important.

I hope yourself and Jennie had a good day, and you enjoyed your day with your sister.

Love to you both.

Eilidh xxx
 
#43 ·
@lorilu I'm glad that tiny bit of worry has been lifted, even just to give you time, if even for a little bit. You can take sometime for yourself too, it's important.

I hope yourself and Jennie had a good day, and you enjoyed your day with your sister.

Love to you both.

Eilidh xxx
Thank you so much. And it worked! She was very comfortable when I got home at 4:00 and eager for a meal. I spaced the next two gabapentin at 7 hours so this morning she is back on the usual schedule. Oh..and she didn't even need another buprenex dose last night! She woke me at 6 as usual for her gabapentin though.

That bupe is good medicine for cats, I am grateful to have it.

And my sister and I had a wonderful hike, as always. Thank you!
 
#42 ·
Hi Angela, what a handsome cat Thomas is, absolutely gorgeous, reading through this thread is yet another reminder to me of what amazing, understanding and caring people there are across this forum, so genuine and giving even though pain is still so often felt in their own lives which is palpable........I just briefly wanted to say, a few years ago my elderley cat clearly was nearing the end of her days with me, I had already told my vet I would know when the time was right to let her go..one morning when I got up, I looked at her and knew that the time had come, I called my vet and they came two hours later to put her to sleep, she died in my arms and hearing my voice telling her I loved her....I will always love her and you will always love Thomas....I hope this helps you...xx
 
#44 ·
I'm so sorry to hear about Thomas's diagnosis, @Angela_ , he's such a gorgeous boy. I'm sorry about about Jennie too, @lorilu , it must be so difficult for you both.

When I lost my old boy, Charlie, he got poorly quite suddenly but was still happy to potter about and have lots of cuddle for about a week before we knew we had to say our final goodbye It's never easy to say goodbye to a much loved friend, I do think they let you know when they are ready to go. I suppose all we can do is listen to them, let them know how loved they are and be there for them at the end.
 
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