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Major puppy blues

5K views 42 replies 24 participants last post by  SusieRainbow 
#1 ·
Not so little Raf arrived a couple of hours again and puppy blues have hit me seriously hard, I've cried most of the afternoon. I feel sick, overwhelmed. I think I've made a massive mistake.

He is a lovely Dog, very calm and is very happy in his cage. He's actually asleep at the moment in there. There is no bond, he tends to back away from me but that's understandable. He is 5 months old and I've only had him 2 hours.

He walks beautifully on the lead. He is gentle taking food.

My Cats are staring at him and he seems to think it's an invitation to play, so he has a little bark and gets excited.

Sukie is better than expected, she comes in the room with him but he cries to get near her because he is on a lead at the moment and she leaves the room.

and breathe....
 
#2 ·
Must have missed this, breed? pictures? :)

Sounds normal to me? I was physically ill the first night I got Bo. New dogs and puppies are stressful.

Of course there is no bond, you've only had him 2 hours ;) took me months to feel properly bonded with any of mine, rather than feeling like they are a massive burden. Give it time, lot's of time.....
 
#4 ·
Your expectations have been very high as I seem to remember this dog has been a long time in the planning and now finally he's here.
Planning something is often better then when it actually happens. You were on a high thinking that everything is going to be wonderful, then suddenly the day comes and for some odd reason you immediately go off on a downer.

We've all been there.

When Isla was first bought home it was wonderful at first, but within a few hours I suddenly came face to face with having a puppy in the house again and all the trauma that goes with that and I crashed into the puppy blues, I was 63 at the time it can get to anyone however experienced. The planning and gazing at photos of her was so much fun actually having her was a different kettle of fish.


It will pass, don't dwell on how you are feeling at the moment of for that matter the next few days. You will begin to gradually emerge from under the dense cloud that's dropped onto you and suddenly find that actually everything is ok and you definitely haven't made a mistake.

Please post some pictures soon, very keen to see him.
 
#7 ·
Welcome to the club :)

We got Alfie and by the end of the first day we thought we'd made a big mistake by the end of the week my wife was suggesting we re -home him.....

Im nothing if not stubborn and hate to give up....that's when i came here.....got a real eye opener....some harsh words from some but i got my sh*t together made a list of things that needed doing and set up a routine.

Alfie was 2 over Christmas and we'd not be without him now

The bond will come he needs to trust you and see you as the provider of not just food but love and protection that bond will take time but it will all come right in the end


Oh and by the way he's a handsome lad :)
 
#9 ·
Wow he is Stunning! Congratulations. I think I'm in love!

As everyone else has said it is normal to feel as you do, like @labradrk I was ill the first night I had Bungo I was so stressed ..... Bungo was perfect, within 30 minutes he had eaten, drunk, had a wee and a poo, he was happily playing, not fazed by being with strangers and slept his first night from about 10 through to 5, I on the other hand didn't sleep and had an upset tummy! I remember thinking 'What have I done!' and seriously thinking I had made the biggest mistake ever.

Then over the first month, we got to know each other better and got into a routine, the bond grew and I love him with all my heart. It does get better, you just need to give yourselves time. :)
 
#10 ·
I never experienced puppy blues so I cannot really advise much but... please don't panic. I am sure that you had great expectation of it being like in a movie or one of the stories you read on forums about how puppies just "choose" their owners by running up to them etc. That's when the immediate "bond" is born in many cases...though in most cases the breeder doesn't tell the new owner that the puppy who got so "connected" to them would run up like that to any person. That's simply their character and temperament.
When I went to pick up Axel from Germany I had to deal with a slight disillusionement too - he was behaving exactly like his 2 other simblings. He was just a happy puppy and didn't pay any special attention to me even when we were just the two of us traveling to London.
The bond is something that YOU create through activities. When you get worried or overwhelmed, I would just try to remember the reasons WHY you wanted this puppy. Have you got some future goals? Then focus on them. The bond will come along with time :)
 
#11 ·
Wow! What a stunner, he is gorgeous.:)

Mylo was 2 when we rescued him. He's our first dog & we have no kids so we were used to just pleasing ourselves & doing what we want, when we want. I can sympathise with you because for the first 2 weeks I was so overwhelmed. It wasn't that I wanted to take him back but realising I now had a responsibility reduced me to tears all the time. I read loads of books (ssh, even the scary white teeth man)! did loads of research on the internet, joined this forum (invaluable) & slowly things just fell into place. My OH works shifts so it was hard to establish the same routine for a few weeks & I was constantly worrying if we were doing things 'right'. I look back at some of my old posts on here & can now laugh about some of the things I was asking! I am now at my happiest when I am with my boy & we have taught each other such a lot. I wouldn't be without him for the world & given time you will feel the same. It's still very early days but we are all here to support you. P.S - where do you live? I might just come & pinch him! X
 
#12 ·
Aw big hugs, hope you feel better about all soon. It's a big deal and I think that makes it harder.
Horace was planned and hoped and dreamed about for years. When he finally arrived oh and I seemed to take it in turns who had puppy blues. Every time one of us got better the other panicked lol.
Raf is gorgeous!
 
#13 ·
Try not to panic and keep reminding yourself its perfectly normal. I've had puppy or adult rescue dog blues with pretty much every dog we've brought home. You have a nice routine established and other pets are settled then along comes a new one and all hell breaks loose so its only natural to ask yourself why the heck you did it. Just keep telling yourself it will pass and new routines will be established and everyone will settle down again given time. You did lots of planning so I would advise you to stick to your plans and not think too much about things like "bonding", as that will develop over time as he comes to know and trust you and you get to know his ways. Take it slowly you have plenty of time.
 
#14 ·
I remember the morning I brought my first Pei, M'boi, home. she was lying on the carpet fast asleep and looking for all the world like a pile of brown fur someone had dropped on the floor and I remember thinking "OMG what an ugly puppy, I'll never be able to love her! As I'm sitting there wondering whether to take her back to the breeder the phone rang. My son!

Of course the whole woe is me spilled out ... how his mum had done the most stupid thing and gone and bought something that looked like a tiny hippo, zipped up in a fur coat six sizes too big for it. Poor son, it must have cost him a fortune to calm me down because he was phoning all the way from Africa, but he did persuade me to keep her

She turned out to be one of the most loving and best dogs I've ever owned ... bless her!
 
#15 ·
Utterly normal. I'm not sure whether you remember my early posts regarding Cash when he arrived? I was a mess! I felt nothing for him other than thinking he was a nice puppy, I felt I couldn't move without him being disturbed, and on top of all that he greatly upset the balance within the home & Ty was seriously depressed :( I very nearly contemplated sending him back, but I think that not being an easy option saved me from doing so. I'd say it took a good 6 months or more before I felt any real attachment to him, but as we worked together more the relationship started to strengthen. One thing that helped me a lot was establishing a routine, it really helped me feel more secure let alone Cash & things fell into place quite quickly from there on out.

He looks lovely & sounds like he's being very polite & respectful so all good signs so far :) Must admit, that was the same in my case for a good few days until Cash started harassing Ty once he'd fully settled. As long as you're prepared for all the hiccups then you'll do just fine. It's just a big shock to the system.

You know where I'm at if you wish to speak more :)
 
#16 ·
Try not panic, as has been said, I think some of what you are feeling is due to the prolonged build up for this wee fellow, the years of planning, hopes, excitement, disappointments, he's been so eagerly awaited, I'm not surprise you feel a bit flat now he's finally arrived.

Keep on laying foundations with Sukie and the cats and give Raf time to find his feet, I'm sure things will feel better when you're both a bit more used to each other.
 
#18 ·
Hi there, well almost a month ago our little chap Reuben arrived , if you search my posts you will see we felt exactly the same.
It was horrible.
Now 4 weeks in (as he bites my foot) we couldn't be without him. Yes it's hard work, yes it's a pain, but totally worth it. Yours is a bit older than mine so hopefully not as badly behaved!

Stick with it.
 
#19 ·
Thank you everyone for your support. Think I was just really shocked :Bag I'm feeling rather silly now :Shy

I'm feeling better and more settled, I've stopped crying and panicking. We've been spending plenty of time outside on leash in the garden, he is starting to come over to me now for a fuss rather than backing away. He has eaten, had something to drink and done his business.

He seems to love his cage, the door is kept open and he is more than happy to just lounge in there with his cows ear which he has had since 1pm, now it's a floppy soggy thing :Hilarious He is a lovely dog, with an amazing temperament although I know that might change once he is fully settled.

But thank you for making me feel normal.
 
#20 ·
Oh wow - he is absolutely gorgeous. Send him to me :p

Seriously though, as everyone has said what you are feeling is quite normal. I think it is the disruption to routine and a new dog can feel overwhelming. Take it slowly and you will be absolutely fine. In a week or two you will be trying to remember what your life was like without him.
 
#22 ·
Another vote for the normalness of puppy blues. I think sometimes it's worse when you've been waiting for some time for a pup as you build up all these expectations. I didn't love Holly for at least a few weeks. She was cute, but very annoying and I was really upset that the cats wouldn't come downstairs into the lounge with us because she was there. I kept saying to my other half that we should take her back to the breeder, but thankfully she is more level-headed than me and wouldn't allow that. I cried so much over the first few weeks and then gradually it wore off and I realised that I had fallen in love with that little German Shepherd face.

Glad you are feeling a little better. It'll probably come in waves, but give it time :)
 
#23 ·
When I got my rescue galgo mix, it was horrible. I lost 5kg in 14 days, had a lump in my throat continiously and all the time thinking:"What the f*** have I done?!". I had two small kids and a mess of a dog.
Its now 3 years later and its all bygones. I love my dog and could not be without him.
 
#26 ·
We all get the puppy blues :) I first joined this forum when I got Io and I would be embarassed to see my first few threads. I cried for weeks, barely hate etc etc.. Bigby was the easiest puppy ever but then now in adulthood hes difficult as hes reactive so hey ho hehe. Hope today has been better
 
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