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Re-homing dates - advice needed pls :)

3K views 36 replies 18 participants last post by  Bluefluffybirmans 
#1 ·
Hey

I am not a breeder but actually the adopter and I need some advice. As the advice relates to the adoption date I thought asking some breeders may be the best idea as you may be able to give me some advice/prospective.

Anyway, we have sourced, met, played with and revisited a kitten several times and are smitten (no pun intended) and subsequently paid a non-refundable deposit to secure said kitten.

At the time of paying the deposit we were given an adoption date of 18 December (the kitten was born around 27-28 September).

During our last visit the breeder advised us that the date now had to be pushed back to at least the 23 December because of a delay with the first injections. She then mentioned how she was going to struggle to let the kittens go and how difficult she was finding it. Before we left the date had changed to 24 December because she wanted to keep an eye on the kittens after their injections.

That close to Christmas would be difficult at the best of times but due to a family member being diagnosed with a terminal illness our fairly quiet Christmas has now become much busier and we have family staying that week. This would have been OK if the date had remained around the 18th and it would have given the kitten some time to settle in and get to know us before anyone else arrived.

I now have major anxiety about whats best to do. I spoke to the breeder to voice some difficulty but she simply said she would just keep the kitten over the whole of the Christmas and New Year period. The kitten will already be coming up to 13 weeks before Christmas so if we did that she would be nearly 16 weeks before we brought her home. I understand from books etc that from 13 weeks is the time kittens bond with their human and I really don't want to loose that time.

My husband has suggested that we ask our vet (we have used him for 20+ years so have complete faith) to do the second vaccination and microchip her at our cost rather than the breeders on the proviso that we pick kitty up on the 18th.

I spoke to the Vet and he is happy to do this and will even send proof and can contact the breeders vet to coordinate (if required). I am just really anxious that if I ask the breeder is just going to say 'no' and keep the kitten. She really has us cornered.

Am I being too anxious - is there are reason that would make her refuse our suggestion? Is there anything I can do? :confused:

Any advice would be much appreciated. It is getting to the point where we may have to walk away but we have spent so much time with the kitten and she is such a sweetie I really can't :(
 
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#28 ·
Thanks all who replied.

Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay. Our vet has confirmed this with the breeder and agreed to write to her when the spay is completed.

<snip>
Not sure why you don't agree with spaying before 6 months. I'm assuming a Ragdoll isn't (usually) an early maturing breed, so at 4 or 6 months you would be spaying before her first call. It's desirable to do so, it minimises her chances of breast cancer later in life, plus in any breed some kittens start calling exceptionally young which can be a shocking experience for their owners especially if they are cats that spray & pee when in call...

I do accept you wouldn't want a vet to do a 4-month spay as a favour. I wouldn't either. My own kittens are neutered a few days after their 12-week vaccination by a vet who regularly neuters kittens from as early as 8 weeks for a local rescue, and who has had years of practise at the special demands it places. All my kittens have bounced right back.
 
#29 · (Edited)
Thanks all who replied.

Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay. Our vet has confirmed this with the breeder and agreed to write to her when the spay is completed.

Secondly - my question was never an attempt to obstruct the welfare of the kitten but as someone who is very experienced with cats and kittens I cannot see the difference between me keeping an eye on the kitten after the final injections and the breeder? At least with me the kitten will be within the family areas which it isn't at the moment.

I don't have much experience with pedigrees which is why I asked a breeders opinion and as there are guidelines in place it helps to explain the situation a little better but 7 days after an injection seems silly to me.

As someone rightly pointed out the issue is the changing of the dates. I understand that mistakes happen and dates change but the way its been communicated hasn't been great and moreover its Christmas. Aside from the family drama etc it is impossible to change leave dates at the last minute and as I work from home I had agreed to work from 22-24 and had booked the 18-22 December off. I am struggling to move this now.

It's a shame as if I was told from the outset I would have to wait until January I probably wouldn't have proceeded as I don't want a 16 week old kitten. I want to bond with it and I want it to settle into our routines. As foot note the cat is definitely not a small breed (Ragdoll). :001_wub:
What a shame she doesn't believe in EN :( The difference between a 4 - 6 month old kitten is nothing, maybe a bit bigger in size, that's pretty much it, if its a size issue. The kittens have less drugs used on them, recover SO quickly, 2 hours for my recent litter, recover with littermates and mum in their home :)

13 weeks / 16weeks, Im not sure where you are getting the dates from as someone said the kittens is 12weeks on dec 18th? Why cant she leave for another 4weeks?

Kittens are ready when they are ready, vets change protocols on vaccinations, Ive turned up with a litter of 6 only to be told, I need to wait another week... Also then to be told my vet wont vaccinate on a Friday anymore! Just one of those things.

Breeders have to keep kittens after their 2nd vac, say you take him and the kitten gets ill? Who gets the blame? For the sake of another few days...

TBH if you came to me & said what you said here you'd get your deposit back & no kitten. If the 13-16 week period outweighs the rest of the kitten's lifespan when taking a kitten of mine then I'd have very strong reservations about letting them go to that home whatsoever.
I did this last year, something happened totally out of my control, needed to keep kitten for another 7days, deposit was refunded asap after I spoke to the new owner, wont mention what was said!! Vvery glad it happened kitten went to a amazing owner instead!

Bringing a kitten home during a holiday isn't the best timing anyway. How can you pay proper attention to the new little one during all the other stuff going on? I'm surprised the breeder was willing to let the kitten go on the 18th, and I am glad it's now been delayed until after the holidays. For the kitten's sake it is better to bring the baby home when all is quite and peaceful.

No trees, decorations, or company. Just the family, calm and safe, while kitten gets settled.

I also don't understand your problem with a week or two difference in age, but everyone has their own preferences. If that's such a big deal to you, I agree you should back out of the contract and look elsewhere.
Why not? Not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone has a big family and party over Christmas life style, some people just do nothing and treat it as another day and then they get a holiday off, so it can be a good time to have kittens home :)

We should always get it right. We should have calendars which span exactly the time from birth of a litter to thirteen weeks on one page so when we're counting weeks to put in the date of first vacs we never ever get it wrong. We shouldn't be shattered from concentrating on the welfare of cats and kittens. We should be machines but we're not.
Some people looking for kittens don't seem to realise anything! I got back to a lady on the 24th nov, she replied to me on the 6th dec saying she liked the kitten, I though that's lovely but he has a home... Did she think I was sitting there waiting for her reply all that time?? :confused1:

Ive been so ill and totally forgot the date my litter was born, It wasn't until a kitten owner asked to view them that I checked my dates, I really don't know where the time goes, but it was visiting time! I was thinking I had weeks left :eek:
 
#30 ·
My two had runny tummys so my initial meeting them was delayed, even that I was gutted at having been waiting for them months before they were even born (waiting list) but I loved that I'd picked such a responsible breeder, she wouldn't let me visit until they were perfectly healthy and then after they were better and all injections done my husband's week off was delayed so I got them a bit later then expected. Not quite the same obviously but I can understand your excitement!

However your kitten will bond to all of you just fine and it will be so much better and easier without the Christmas chaos!

While I think early neutering is a very good thing, my vets around here wouldn't do it, mine were done at six months and flew though the operation, chasing each other like loons by that evening, you're meant to keep them still how? :eek:
 
#31 · (Edited)
:mad2: I am not sure why a few people are all for the breeder to throw my deposit back in my face. I have said several times that I was asking advice about whether I should even have a discussion about the adoption date, I have taken the advice given with thanks and will wait. I have managed to rejig a few things including family and work and all of this was with the kitten's welfare in mind so please don't think I am a bad potential owner - that is very far from the truth.

I can understand why some breeders would be cautious about Christmas adoptions and of course the whole kitten as a present thing, that isn't the case with us and the timing was coincidence as we had been looking for the right kitten for a while. I don't think no adoptions past 15 December is necessary (but to each their own) I would probably exercise discretion if it were me. ;)

Thank you again for the helpful comments. I agree with Bluefluffybirmans and would say that while it is disappointing I would be more understanding of the situation if it was something like poorly tummies or issues with feeding as I except its a case of cat and breeder mum knows best there. :thumbup: But I do take on board that dates change and vets appointments can be problematic especially with a litter of 8 (which this breeder is handling).

In regard to the spay I have always tried to catch them as early as possible due to the cancer benefits but our vet still likes them to get a bit bigger before he will do it. He tends to go by size rather than age these days. My last 2 had theirs done somewhere around six months but as we weren't entirely sure of their ages it was difficult to know.

I will take the kitten for a check up with my vet when she arrives anyway - it was already booked but I've had to cancel due to the take move but when we get there I will take his advice on when she should be spayed. I would guess that as she is a larger breed an earlier spay is quite likely.

I didn't ask the breeder especially why she disliked the 4 months spay but she mentioned liking them to be a bit bigger too.
 
#33 ·
I am not sure why a few people are all for the breeder to throw my deposit back in my face.
Your breeder will do as she chooses. Some of us have said what we would do. You have discussed this with your vet. You have come onto a forum to discuss it with strangers. The one person who seems to be left out of the discussion so far is the breeder. That strikes me as pretty weird. When my buyers choose a kitten it's the start of a long relationship based on trust and mutual interest. Money may change hands but my decisions over where my kittens go are far from commercial. If a potential new owner isn't happy with my protocol while my kitten still belongs to me it's unlikely to turn into the ongoing relationship I'm used to and look for so I'd back out.
 
#34 · (Edited)
You've asked for an opinion in the breeding section so breeders would consider it from the breeder perspective.

Based on your comments as I have never met you so don't know you, that would be my personal decision but your breeder will or should have a relationship with you to know you as a person better than 3 brief statements on a forum.

I stand by what I said though as that is my opinion & if I was the breeder it would be my kitten to make said decision.

I don't think I am AT ALL being rude or unhelpful in telling you how a breeder MAY react given YOU are in this situation. You're entitled to dislike this advice/comment as if I put myself in your shoes & was thinking like you are I wouldn't be very happy to lose a kitten I had picked out.
 
#35 ·
As a new owner, not a breeder, I think if they are a bit older when you get them they will be just fine. The lovely breeder i found kept the boys an extra week (until 14 weeks) as I was away with work and preferred to take them when I had a couple of weeks off to settle them. They have bonded with us just fine and a few weeks later they are certainly bigger but the same young and sweet kittens who are cuddly, confident and happy to meet visitors and sit on any lap! I actually felt better/more confident taking them older, they had longer with their mum who was still feeding them, they were healthy and well grown, confident, personalities emerging, etc.
 
#36 ·
W

Why not? Not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone has a big family and party over Christmas life style, some people just do nothing and treat it as another day and then they get a holiday off, so it can be a good time to have kittens home :)
Yes but this poster stated:

Hey

That close to Christmas would be difficult at the best of times but due to a family member being diagnosed with a terminal illness our fairly quiet Christmas has now become much busier and we have family staying that week. This would have been OK if the date had remained around the 18th and it would have given the kitten some time to settle in and get to know us before anyone else arrived.

I now have major anxiety about whats best to do. I spoke to the breeder to voice some difficulty but she simply said she would just keep the kitten over the whole of the Christmas and New Year period. The kitten will already be coming up to 13 weeks before Christmas so if we did that she would be nearly 16 weeks before we brought her home. I understand from books etc that from 13 weeks is the time kittens bond with their human and I really don't want to loose that time.

:(
I think the OP was being much too optimistic about the kitten's ability to "settle in" and be ready for a tumultuous household, even by planning on the 18th..

If I was buying a kitten and the breeder was looking out for the kitten's best interests, I'd be grateful, knowing I'd chosen a breeder who cares about the cats.

In addition if I were a breeder, I would not let any kittens go during holidays, unless I was sure it was someone like me, who does nothing for holidays but use the days to stay home and rest..

Many shelters will not do adoptions in December because pets as gifts are often impulse, and then the pet suffers. I realize a kitten purchase from a ethical breeder is not the same thing, but I think it's great the breeder is watching out for the kitten, first and foremost.
 
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