Stuck. Between a rock and a hard place...

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by 8tansox, Mar 20, 2017.


  1. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    I have three dogs, two Rottweilers and a JRT we rescued last year. I also have another Rottweiler puppy coming I hope in June this year... so, the dilemma I have is, a dog we look after and have done for a few years now, is needing a new home. There is a massive problem though. He was rescued a few years ago from NCDL as he was found to be living ferrel with a large number of other dogs in woods and fields.

    His new owners brought him to me for training and socialising, he was scared of the world in general and would happily just lie down away from anyone or anything. Over the years, he has become much better and even got to the stage where he enjoyed his weekly agility class, but had to be kept at a small distance from other dogs.

    Fast forward 4 years, his human mum was diagnosed 2 years ago with a type of terminal Cancer and now his dad has been diagnosed with another type of terminal Cancer. They have both doted on this dog and he enjoys his short stays with us when his owners used to go away for their holidays. The dog tends to be very possessive with things he believes are "his" and especially my husband, who feeds him when he's here, and walks him. The couple have asked us to have him when they die. After a long and serious discussion between me and my husband, we sadly told them we couldn't due to his problem of attacking other dogs if they get too close to him, or pick up a toy that he was looking at. They said they understood and would try elsewhere...

    The couple have left him here with us while they go on their final holiday together. The dog will be here 10 days and now my husband is beginning to waiver a little bit, saying we could "manage" him. But in my heart, I truly believe this dog should be the only dog in a home, it's what he's used to now, he's never had to share his people before and it's going to be exciting enough with a new puppy coming soon and with an existing stroppy JRT.

    So, anyone got any thoughts / ideas / suggestions etc. I know he could go back to the NCDL but, I'd rather he didn't. Sorry for War and Peace.
     
  2. bearcub

    bearcub PetForums VIP

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    What a sad situation.

    It sounds like it wouldn't be in the dog's best interests to live with you and wouldn't be ideal for you to have him, especially with a new puppy on the horizon.

    Maybe you could help the couple find him a new home but having said that, this could be a difficult task for you, let alone them.

    My only other useful thoughts are that you could agree to take the dog on a temporary basis when it is necessary but make it clear that he would move on when a suitable home was found. I suppose this way it would take the worry away from the poor couple although, of course, this is not your responsibility.

    Very difficult indeed.
     
  3. Fleur

    Fleur Vassal to Lilly and Ludo

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    A heartbreaking situation for everyone.
    It does sound like the dog would ultimately be happier in an only dog home.
    I think as much as your heart is telling you to take on this dog you need to listen to your head because it sounds like in the long run that would be the best thing for the dog.
    Would it be possible to foster the dog and ask the original rescue to find a suitable home?
     
  4. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    We might have to do that... but I'm worried in-case they "forget" him / us....
     
  5. Fleur

    Fleur Vassal to Lilly and Ludo

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    Only do what you feel is right for your family and the dog.
    You could do a trial a foster or set a time scale - keep up communication with the rescue and if you're not happy reassess the situation
     
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  6. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    I would be inclined to say take him on the proviso that if things don't work out you will do the very best for the dog.

    It might turn out ok, who knows?

    I had a similar scenario when my mum was dying and my sister and I promised to do the best for her dog and cat which we did, but we couldn't keep them ourselves for a number of reasons. The cat went to a trusted neighbour and the dog went to live with our cousin and both were happy, well cared for and loved for the rest of their lives.

    How old is the dog, out of interest?
     
  7. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    I think he's between 6 - 8 maybe.
     
  8. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    He's been out in the garden with my lot this morning, there were no incidents thankfully and today we will gradually move him into the day room with us. I am out this morning at Rally with my two Rotties, so that leaves my JRT at home, hopefully they will get along in the next few hours and see how that goes, but I'm not holding my breath...
     
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  9. ouesi

    ouesi Wag More Bark Less

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    I know this sounds callous, but I wouldn’t risk it with a puppy on the way. At the very least I’d worry about the puppy picking up quirks from him...

    Is there a good rottie rescue that could take him, and you could offer to foster for them? That way they can use their networking to find him a home and support him in that new home, and he could stay with you until the home is found?
     
  10. Westie Mum

    Westie Mum PetForums VIP

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    Honestly, as harsh as this might sound, you need to do what is best for your own dogs first.

    We are in a similar position, mother in law has lung cancer and owns two Westie's. We brought both of them for her after she lost her husband also to lung cancer. She asked us to promise we would always take care of them if anything happened to her ..... obviously we were not expecting anything to happen and not any time soon!

    All 5 dogs get on pretty well, but the thought of owning 5 is frightening. We also have a grumpy JRT ! As she gets older I am not sure how she would cope sharing her home with 4 other dogs, all youngsters really.

    It does weigh heavy on my mind, out of duty to family (and the fact we researched breeders and purchased both dogs) but then equally my own dogs must not miss out or suffer as a consequence.

    I wish you well whatever you decide. It really is a hard decision .......
     
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  11. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    My head says no, my heart says oh heck... He's been with the JRT this morning, no issues, we all met on a walk after our Rally class this morning, no issues... so it's looking better but I am well aware this is no guarantee of his behaviour in the future. It just makes it easier for us for the next 10 days if he can rub along with mine.

    We've had 7 dogs before, we are a multiple dog house-hold, I know what problem dogs are like to live with, which is why I so desperately do not want to repeat the exercise, the set up at the moment is really good, all my boys get along well and I have no reason to believe the puppy won't just slot in either. He's bred from parents with excellent temperaments so not too worried about that aspect. It's just this peculiar streak he shows intermittently.

    My head says no.
     
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  12. MaggiesMom

    MaggiesMom PetForums Member

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    Bless you, I had goosebumps reading this, so heart breaking for everyone involved :(
    You do need to do what is best for your household first. Take away the fact the owners are going to pass, take away the cancer and just imagine they are two friends asking you to take on the dog because the situation has changed in another way. Allergies for example. Now what does your head say?
    The reason I put it like this is because the emotional factor in this scenario is running very high and will playing on your heart, it would with anyone. You're not heartless to say no, you're practical and you're human.
    Could you help them research a potential new home or good rescue? Or maybe if you let us know the area someone might be able to recommend a rescue that is known for being good with behavior issues?
     
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  13. rottiepointerhouse

    rottiepointerhouse PetForums VIP

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    I would delay making any decisions until the end of the 10 day period he is staying with you anyway. If everything goes well and he seems OK with your lot then I would be inclined to give it a go. Do they want to keep him until they can't manage anymore or are they hoping to see him settled before they pass on?
     
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  14. Sweety

    Sweety PetForums VIP

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    It may be a good idea for these people to contact the Cinnamon Trust.

    They specialise in rehoming or giving sanctuary to dogs belonging to the elderly or terminally ill.
     
  15. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    I don't know what their plans are RPH to be honest, it's a very difficult subject to talk about. We have however made the sad decision that we will not be able to take him full time. He's been no trouble since his arrival, but we have made the decision purely because we both plan on buying a motor home at the end of the summer, it's going to be difficult enough with three Rotties and a JRT, that's four dogs, five might just tip the balance, plus, we don't want 5 dogs. All our lives we have said yes to people who have needed help, friends and family, and we have to now put our family first. After 40 years of pleasing others, it's time to look after ourselves. It just goes to show that life is too short and we never know how long we have on this earth. So, I'm afraid he will have to go elsewhere, we will foster him until a suitable home is found for him, I cannot and will not have him go back into kennels, he so deserves more than that. Poor boy. I feel so much better having made the decision...as hard as it was.
     
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  16. Moobli

    Moobli PetForums VIP

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    Such a sad situation and an awful position to be in. I would offer to help them find a great home for him, rather than offering to have him yourself for all the reasons you jave given.
     
  17. 8tansox

    8tansox PetForums VIP

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    I've just heard today, his mum has passed away in her sleep on her holidays. I can hardly believe it. I'm in total shock, I had thought there'd be a bit more time... I'm pleased in a way that she went before her husband, or she would have needed to go into a nursing home or hospice, so that is one blessing I suppose, but I still can't believe that she's gone now, too soon. :'( I'm looking at him now and thinking he'll never see his mum again and won't understand why. Life is so hard at times innit.
     
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  18. Fleur

    Fleur Vassal to Lilly and Ludo

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    @8tansox so very sad :(
    Thinking of you
     
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  19. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    I have been reading this thread, but could only echo what others had said, and only what your own thoughts on the matter was too, and how a brave decision you had made to say no but would make sure he got the right home for him when they passed.

    I am so sorry to hear the sad news, one last holiday and I am sure it was exactly what your friend wanted.

    My thoughts are with you at this time, and with you as a guardian of sorts, this dog will no doubt have many adventure and much more live to have adorned on him.
     
  20. ouesi

    ouesi Wag More Bark Less

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