Shine brightly my gorgeous Star

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by Sonybear, Dec 20, 2016.


  1. Sonybear

    Sonybear PetForums Junior

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    I had a feeling earlier this year that something big was coming, I didn't know what that something was, but I mentioned to my husband that something was coming and it wasn't going to be good.


    Never did I think it would be the loss of my beautiful cat Star. She had started to vomit in April and we assumed it was a case of furballs as she brought one or two up every now and again. However, come May she was still being sick every few days and we took her to the vets. She had started to drop weight by now, however after poo samples and blood tests there were no obvious culprits and so started a long journey of trying different foods to try and settle her stomach and for a while the sickness seemed to get better, although her weight was still up and down and she no longer had solid poos. We took her back again to the vets and they did more blood tests which showed an elevated blood cell count, so probably an infection she had injections and we carried on trying to eliminate potential food issues.


    Unfortunately she was starting to vomit again every day so scans/x-rays were carried out and these showed up nothing. In between all of this back and forth to the vets, vomiting every day and diarrhoea, we noticed a change in her personality. Some nights when we got home from work, she would just sit in the middle of the floor and not want to interact and her normal feisty swipe at the dog when he walked past was almost too much effort. There was one particular evening when I got home and found sick everywhere and her laid out totally switched off that I asked her if she was ready to go and did she want me to make 'that decision' for her (obviously there were many tears when I asked her). By the next morning she was up and about as if nothing was wrong and begging for food. I thought I had asked her the wrong question and that if she was fighting on so could I.


    More blood tests followed and again a high white blood cell count and having spoken at length to the vet, the only course of action left was to either try all different medications or open her up under anaesthetic and see what might be going on. However, by now she was being sick all of the time, she had dropped weight, couldn't stop eating and we decided that we just couldn't put her through the surgery. She had also stopped being able to meow, she could only now manage a silent meow. The turning point was coming home last Wednesday to find masses of sick (more than ever before) with loads of undigested fat in it, after much discussion with my husband, I made 'that call' to the vets the next day.


    I was so upset I could barely tell them what I needed the appointment for. The appt was on Sunday just gone and I decided on Saturday that she would have the best day, all the old foods she used to enjoy before we started this potential food intolerance journey. She had Whiskas and treats and Ham. I spent the whole day with her from start to finish (rather than before and after work) and I realised the life she was living now. She would binge on food because she was just so hungry, she would break the food down into really small chunks to allow her to swallow (we just thought she was becoming a messy eater), then she would go very quiet for a few hours and couldn't settle, eventually throwing everything up and then immediately looking for more food. I just hadn't realised how bad things were for her, I was so focused on the next vet trip, the next investigation that I had forgotten to really look at her life.


    She was PTS on Sunday, really peaceful and I told her how sorry I was that she had been so poorly for so long and that I hadn't realised just how poorly.


    I am totally devastated that she isn't here anymore, the house is so empty and I really miss the cat who gave me the best 13 years, who sat on my chest nose to nose when I laid in bed after finding out we couldn’t have children, the cat that would follow me to the loo, the cat that would claw at my jeans when she sat on my lap, the cat that would purr so loudly that you could hardly hear your own thoughts.


    RIP my beautiful girl, I hope that you are now at the Rainbow Bridge, that you are well again and that you can forgive me for letting you go. I will always be sorry I didn’t realise earlier. I will love you forever, I will miss you always and I will never forget how amazing you were xxxxx
     
  2. Char8607

    Char8607 PetForums Member

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    I am so sorry to hear of your loss SonyBear, it's a heartbreaking time and I know the pain all too well.

    You did the absolute best for your little girl and as we know our little furries, especially cats, are masters at hiding any pain or illness from us and you fought hard for her. When you realised, you gave her the best last day you could and then, putting your pain and grief aside, you made the decision which was right for her, which is the last act of kindness any of us can give our pets. You were there with her and told her you loved her; those are the best things any of us can do in a truly horrible situation.

    It sounds like she was a little character and had a wonderful life so I hope in time you can take some comfort in that.

    Scamper over the Rainbow Bridge little girl; may you Rest In Peace xx
     
  3. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    I'm so sorry to hear this. :( Sleep well , Star . you were very much loved.
     
  4. MilleD

    MilleD PetForums VIP

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    So sorry to hear this. I read this at work earlier and had to bow out as your story upset me so much,

    I absolutely understand your distress, but you have made the best decision for her once you knew what the problems was.

    Hard but ultimately in her best interests. Look after yourself xx

    RIP Star x
     
  5. sue m

    sue m lucy

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    I am so sorry for your loss of Star and I know how it feels in the empty house when they are gone. My Persian Lucy passed away at the vets in recovery suddenly eight weeks ago, we were due to collect her after a minor procedure for a problem which had appeared in the last few weeks and ended up with her being brought into us wrapped in a blanket and no longer with us. The shock has distressed me beyond words and I have not been able to do a thing since losing her, she was my friend for 13 years. Your story has hit me as Lucy was suffering in a similar way with piles of sick every two days or so and dropping of her weight. She used to be a great big long haired Persian but I didn't see the change in her until it was too late. You made the right decision and Star and Lucy maybe are playing together now over the rainbow bridge. Lucy had terrible problems going to the toilet for quite a few months and we just kept trying different foods like you with Star. She was really really well and other than the pile of sick we didn't think there was anything wrong as she seemed so well in her self. We took her to the vets who inserted some liquid into her to make her go to the toilet, possibly within half an hour or so. Well we brought her home and she seemed to get worse, never went to the toilet and just sat with me all day on her bed, she didnt cry or seem ill but still couldn't go to the toilet. We took her first thing in the morning again and they did tests for her bloods and we got a call to say she had great bloods and for her age they were fine. They then said she was fine and they were now going to do two xrays. The xrays showed up megacolan and they would now manually remove her waste which apparently although under sedation Lucy tried to help them get it out, bless her. All had gone fine but they were worried her waste was like sand and bright yellow and the procedure took an hour and a half but she was well and went into recovery. We got the call to say we can pick up her in a while and they would let us know when she was ready. An hour later we got a call from the main vet to say Lucy had tried to come round, she'd lifted her head up and blinked but then her heart became really erratic. They rushed her back into the operating room, got her heart beating again but she was not breathing on her own. They tried to save her for about half an hour, breathing for her and doing various other medical interventions to try and get her back but she was now brain dead although breathing erratically. It was the call every pet owner dreads to say she was breathing but brain dead and we needed to get down to the vets urgently. There was a road accident on the way and we got delayed and when we walked into the vets he greeted us to say she had gone twenty minutes after the call. I collapsed with grief and haven't really recovered to be honest. Reading your story about Star has helped me realise I am not alone. I am sure both Star and Lucy loved us completely to bits and will never think for one moment we could have done more for them. R.I.P. Lucy 06.10.2003 - 25.10.2016 I will love you forever and R.I.P. Star.
    Have you any photo of Star you could upload? IMG_20140725_154541690 (1).jpg
     
  6. Sonybear

    Sonybear PetForums Junior

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    Oh Sue, It literally breaks my heart reading your story and seeing the picture of your beautiful Lucy. My cat was firmly a member of my family and her passing has hit me so hard I barely know how to function. I had to wrap up xmas presents last night and I cried for 4 hours straight. You are most definitely not alone Sue, I will upload a picture of Star when I get home from work, although I wasn't the best at taking many photos and I am kicking myself now!! Lucy's symptoms do sound very similar to Star, although Star could go to the toilet, but she would produce loads of runny yellow foul smelling poo, I know this sounds bonkers but I got so used to cleaning up the litter tray all the time whilst we were waiting for a diagnosis that I really miss cleaning the litter tray now.

    I have read a lot online about the Rainbow Bridge and I take some comfort in thinking that she is free from pain, sickness and just doing what she liked best, eating ham and laying in the sun. I hope that she is with Lucy and they are finding some comfort together. Like you say they both knew how much we loved them and that we did everything we could to make them better. RIP Lucy may you rest in peace with my gorgeous Star. xx