r.i.p oscar

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by shamus, Mar 6, 2016.


  1. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    It will take time you need to give yourself time to grieve, but really glad the little one is making it easier for you.
     
  2. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    hi folks,ive been having some really bad days and nights absolutely beside myself with heartache,i keep looking at my new pup and really starting to love the little guy but am feeling so unfaithful to Oscar its so confusing,i still cry a lot at times and little pup looks at me and starts to lick me.its just so hard.
     
  3. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    Its not unusual for people to feel unfaithful when they have lost a beloved friend, sometimes it can actually stop people even thinking of getting another because they feel disloyal.

    You are not being unfaithful or disloyal to Oscar, while he was with you he didn't know one day without love and care, you gave him I'm sure a wonderful life. That's all we can do cherish them when we have them and make sure they have everything we can give them and hope that it will continue tor a long long time to come. Sometimes our wish is granted, other times it isn't and the time is cut short, how ever long we have them it will never be long enough anyway.

    The puppy isn't a replacement taking Oscars place or anything else He cant, like Oscar he is or will be special in his own way, he is an individual too as Oscar was. All the pup wants is your love and care, and will earn it in his own right. It doesn't mean that you love Oscar any less, will forget him, or you with lose that special place Oscar held in your heart either. Its possible to let more then one dog into your life and cherish each one just as much. I'm sure Oscar wouldn't want you to be alone, and would be glad you have the puppy for company.
     
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  4. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    thankyou sled dog hotel you always make me feel better with your replies,sometimes I just get so muddled up with my thinking and when you reply you unravel whats going on in my head thanks so much.i hold Oscars ashes every night and say goodnight and just hope he hears me.
     
  5. Honeys mum

    Honeys mum PetForums VIP

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    Please don't feel you are being unfaithful to Oscar, as sled dog hotel you are not.
    It's obvious Oscar had a wonderful life with you, and knew nothing but love.Your new pupy will never replace Oscar, all dogs are special in their own way.
    Just try to enjoy your new puppy, the love you had for Oscar will always remain in your heart.


    For what it's worth, I have four of my girls ashes in caskets in my lounge, and when we go away, even if it's only for a day, they go with us.

    I'm sure Oscar hears you, I hope you find comfort in having him with you.
     
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  6. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    thanks honeys mum,it does feel comforting with his ashes here,i always feel like hes here with us I just miss him so much he was my rock in life when I had a bad day at work or wherever he always made me feel ok again,god bless him.
     
  7. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    Its still early days and you are still adjusting and grieving for Oscar, there is never a right or wrong way to grieve only a way that is right for you, and although it still doesn't seem like it now at times, in time it will get better. Although Oscar is no longer physically with you, he is still there with you in your memories and will always have his special place in your heart. When you are grieving and trying to work your way through the emotions and feelings it is very easy to feel alone and muddled. You are not alone though, there are people here who have been through it and understand, and it sounds like the little one in his own way is trying to tell you he is there too, and will help you heal and give you comfort.
     
  8. Lol byrne

    Lol byrne PetForums Newbie

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    Hi just reading your thread and I am also grieving the loss of my best friend Barney who was 16 yrs and 10 mths and a huge part of our lives. Very early days and I am devestated I am just waiting for the return of his ashes which I hope will help in my grieving process. Just curious as to how long you waited to get a new dog. Was it too soon, you should have done it sooner or do you regret getting a another. Did you use the previous dogs stuff for your new one or buy all new. I feel it maybe either comforting or upsetting be curious to know which one you felt xxx
    Hope ur a bit further in your recovery process xx
     
  9. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    hi lol byrne sorry its a late reply,getting a new dog after a couple of weeks has helped no end but the love I had for Oscar is still strong I still cry every night I say goodnight to his ashes and picture,but my little pup who I would not be without now helps me no end,it is true you feel mixed emotions when you get your new dog,you feel disloyal and feel like you are replacing him but then you feel a new bond being created and you still feel the bond for your lost one so you realise you are not replacing him,i personally feel had I not got our pup so soon I would of never of got another as the feeling I had were so overwhelming that I would of been very ill.i put all of Oscars belongings in a box and put a note in it from all the family saying what they will miss about him and how much they loved him and put it in the loft.sorry for your loss I know it hurts like hell im so sorry for you god bless your loved one.
     
    #69 shamus, Apr 29, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2016
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  10. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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  11. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    Barney is gorgeous and I hope having him is giving you some comfort. Glad too that you have started to come to terms with the loss of Oscar, it takes a long while to adjust, but he will always be there in your heart and memories and no one can take that away.
     
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  12. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    it is hard to adjust to the loss but I just knew I had to as i was very ill not eating or sleeping and that's when getting barney put things in order and made me realise and I am not being heartless but life has to go on.
     
  13. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    It is very hard to adjust they become such a big part of our lives. but life as you say must go on. Just because we have lost doesn't mean that we cant love again, all dogs are special and unique in their own way and we can love them for who they are and what they mean to us. Its obvious that what you and Oscar shared was very special, and I'm sure that Oscar wouldn't want you to be sad and not love again and let another dog into your heart. However long we have them will never ever be long enough,
    but I'm sure Oscar left knowing how much he was loved and had a wonderful life with you.
     
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  14. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    Oscar certainly was very loved by everyone,when I told people who I would see out on our walks that he was gone had a tear for him he was just such a big character and had so many play dogs from our walks.i can honestly say he never wanted for anything he had everything a dog could of wished for and shown so much love by everyone and he loved it.
     
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  15. Honeys mum

    Honeys mum PetForums VIP

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    Barney is a real handsome boy. So pleased to read that having him is helping you through the loss of your lovely Oscar, and that he has helped to make life a little easier for you.
    It's still early days yet for you, and clear to see Oscar was very special to you, and a very much loved boy who had a very happy life with you and your family.I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel sad, he will always have a special place in your heart.
    Every dog is special in the own different way. I'm sure Oscar would want you to enjoy Barney, and love anther dog again.

    Look forward to seeing more pics of Barney.
     
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  16. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    @shamus. I just caught up with this thread and feel so much for you. The guilt you (we all) feel with a pet is likely due to the fact that as often as not we are the ones to make the agonising decision to stop their pain and illness. You did not want to see him suffer any longer; it is very natural to wonder ''what if'' and ''if only''. There is always guilt and doubt when a pet dies, especially if it is not terribly old as Oscar was not.
    I am glad you now have another dog. He will never be a replacement for Oscar and there will be no comparison.; he will have his own personality and quirks.
    It does seem so unfair sometimes. My cat has just recently been diagnosed with kidney disease (he is only six years old). I ask myself why t would happen to a cat which has had the best care and diet since I got him. He has been fed wet food, no dry, seen vet for regular annual MOT. The vet admits to being ''mystified'' as he looks and acts as tho' he is fit and healthy...no weight loss, simply excessive drinking.
    I hope your new puppy does much to fill the void left by Oscar's passing. Some pictures would be lovely!
     
  17. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    hi calvina thanks for your kind words it was very hard to deal with when he got diagnosed with the kidney disese,oscar was absolutely fine before I took him to the vets,only clue was he was drinking more but after vets put him on a fluids drip and kept him in for 2 days he was never the same when he came home,he just started getting picky with food then stopped eating altogether and just would lie on the sofa,but as soon as you said walkies he came to life and off we would go but he got slower and slower and just couldn't make it anymore and in the end started shivering with pain so it was the only thing we could do as the kiney disease was to bad it was all so quick from diagnosis to having him put to sleep.i tried every day with so many different foods and tablets but he just gave up and I knew he had enough god bless him and now he runs in rainbow bridge,i just feel so blessed to of been his best mate miss him all the time and I think I always will.
     
  18. jill3

    jill3 PetForums VIP

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    So sorry for your loss of Oscar. It is one of the worse things of having a pet is saying good bye to them. Reading through your thread I now hear that you have a new pup called Barney.
    He does look a lovely Boy. I think he will do you the world of good.
    We never forget our lost ones. They will always be with you.
    We have 3 lovely cats now but I never forget the ones we have at Rainbow Bridge.
     
  19. Quietus Vet Home Visits

    Quietus Vet Home Visits PetForums Newbie

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    I agree. Bluecross which is staffed by caring volunteers is a great resource.

    I was talking to their coordinator the other day and she told me that they "listen and signal".

    Which means they listen for as long as you want to talk.
    They will, if you want, give you information on who to call for more help if you want.
    They are not a counselling service as such.

    Fab people.
    Talking is so important.
     
  20. shamus

    shamus PetForums Junior

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    hi again folks I thought I would let you know how im doing,i went downhill badly for a while and just couldnt get it together even with barneys help and it was very hard and probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life.i am now starting to get on with life again and still miss my Oscar very dearly and do still cry and my heart still aches but it has got easier.my panic attacks have subsided a lot and can sleep now but I find myself thinking im starting to forget Oscar and then get in a panic and have to keep looking at his pictures.oh I miss him so but know I have to get on with my life but feel so guilty trying to do so,any way barneys doing well and I am probably too paranoid about him with his health as the vets said I don't need to worry so much as I was taking him to the vets for anything but I think I cant go through with anything happening to him.