Hi all I came across your forum following the loss of one of my beautiful boys two days ago. Cloud was my beautiful, amazing, mischievous 6 and a half year old cat, one of two brothers I rescued in June 2010. They came to me 'for one night' due to their owner suddenly being unable to take care of them.....and they never left (just to clarify the owner did not want them back). About a month ago my partner and I noticed Cloud didn't seem his usual self; he'd gone off his food and seemed to be breathing quite fast. Having only been at the vets two weeks previously for his booster and general check up we didn't think much of if but got him checked out anyway. What followed was 4 weeks and 1 day of endless appointments, tests and trips to the emergency vets in the middle of the night; our darling boy had heart failure. We were told it had been caught relatively early so whilst we knew it meant our time with him would be much shorter than we had ever anticipated, we thought we would have a few good months with him once his medication was tweaked. Sadly we didn't get that chance and on Thursday evening (my 30th birthday) we made our final trip to the emergency vets with our baby boy. His breathing rate was very fast but the vet thought a shot of intravenous diuretic would probably stabilise him as we had an appointment with a cardiology team on the Friday morning. The vet said we could bring him home or keep him there overnight for observations; we chose the latter and that was the last time we saw Mr Cloud awake. Calls in the middle of the night are never good news and so when the vet rang at 3:50am I braced myself. He was still with us but going downhill rapidly; they had one other drug to try and would let me know. The phone rang again at 5:20am to say there really was no option; we made our way over but Mr Cloud had lost his fight only minutes after the phone call and the vet, who was lovely, had had to put him at peace because it became too distressing and cruel not to. My partner (Rich) and I got to see our beauty wrapped in a blanket and tell him how he meant the absolute world to us and how sorry that despite our best efforts we hadn't been able to save him. People may think I'm daft and I may just be kidding myself to find comfort but I truly believe he battled hard to stay with me for my special birthday but knew he wasn't well and didn't want us spending thousands on the cardiologist. He had seemed so full of beans that day and we did (by chance) all of his favourite things; he played with Storm, he got into bed for morning cuddles and purrs, he had a brush, went in the garden, had the biggest meal of prawns and had one final car ride sat on a blanket as opposed to being in his carrier. When we took him that evening I didn't think for one second he wouldn't ever come home; he had been admitted to the vets the previous week for 3 days and fought so hard to get home we truly believed that his medication was stabilising him (it had been increased following his discharge). Rich and I are in pieces; Mr Cloud we believe was partly Maine Coon and shared many traits of the breed; the fluffy coat, the tufty paws and the almost human like personality. He was my furry shadow with me from the moment I woke up until the second my head hit the pillow at night. if I got up during the night he would race to me and 'his spot' beside me in bed. He had a purr which sounded like a motorcycle engine and not and day went by where he didn't purr and make us laugh in some way. He loved to be carried around on his back like a baby and would cry to be picked up constantly or let to sit on the breakfast bar stools in the kitchen so he could watch me cooking each evening. It breaks my heart I didn't get to say goodbye to him or be there when he needed me most. I can't remember my last words to him but I know I didn't tell him I loved him but rather joked about him wanting an overnight stay in his kitty hotel rather than being at home with us and that is killing me that he may have thought I didn't care or was cross with him. Storm doesn't seem to know what's going on; he's got used to Cloud disappearing but he's always come home and now everytime the door goes he looks to see if his brother is there. They were both, from he large part, house cats only venturing into the garden if we were there to watch (we live by two main roads) and were pretty much inseparable. I hope and pray that the pain gets easier; I hate being at home but know Storm is grieving too and I can't leave him too long at any one time. Storm is a beautiful cat but very different in temperament to Cloud in that he will have a fuss then sleep all day; he's not the same 'shadowy' personality of his brother which is fine but just makes that ache inside me all the more painful. I'm sorry this post is so long, but I just wondered if maybe writing things down and sharing may help me start to come to terms with this huge loss. Rest In Peace my beautiful fluffy baby boy; mummy will love your forever and always.