heartbroken and devastated

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by Caroline Bell, Mar 14, 2017.


  1. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    My beautiful dog Jake was my best friend and a big part of my life. He was 15 years old and we spent a lot of time together especially when i finished work. He was PTS on Friday 10th march and i cant stop crying and have a constant feeling of numbness. The house feels empty and wherever i go in the house i can see him. The week leading up to Jake passing he was barking in the night to go out in the garden and to just sit there. He was spending more time outside and lying there. On Friday 10th March i had taken Jake for his morning walk and when we came home he was lying down outside and started to shake. He had done this once the previous day. I rang the vet and was told to bring him. I had to ring the vet again as he couldn't get up. I asked could the vet come to our house and they said no. They didn't have enough staff. My two sons rolled Jake onto the parcel shelf from our car and this worked and carried him into the car. We were all very upset and crying. I booked Jake in and they said they would ring me when it was our turn and we sat in the car park for an hour before the phone rang. My boys carried him in and the vet checked his gums and looked at his eyes and said he was dying. We were crying and devastated. My son rang his dad and he came to the vets 10 mins later. My husband was very upset and i stroked Jake and kissed him on the nose. I went back to the car and my sons and husband stayed with him. I cant sleep and have barely eaten since and it is very difficult in the house. I have cried every day and i don't know how i'm going to get through this. Jake has made such an impact in our family. I will miss all the people i knew on our walks with dogs. My husband is collecting his ashes on Tuesday 21st March and he has some questions to ask. I love you so much Jake, RIP Beautiful xxx
     
  2. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    Very sad :(

    So sorry for your loss.
     
    Caroline Bell likes this.
  3. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    thank you for your message.it means alot.
     
  4. Char8607

    Char8607 PetForums Member

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    I am so sorry for your loss; I wish there was something to say to help ease your pain which is clearly felt reading your post.

    I hope you take some comfort in the knowledge that he was loved for 15 happy years and hopefully didn't suffer too long before he crossed Rainbow Bridge. He had his family with him when he needed you most and sometimes that is all we can do.

    Take care of yourself xx
     
  5. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    thank you so much for replying.your words have helped alot. no he didnt suffer which is a relief and my sons and husband said it was very peaceful.we are a week on and the. grief is still overwhelming but we are all helping each other.do you have a story or a pet that has passed.thanks again xxx
     
  6. Char8607

    Char8607 PetForums Member

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    I know it sounds a cliché but time does help; you never forget but the pain becomes more bearable (in my experience).

    I lost one of my beautiful cats on my 30th birthday in December. Noticed he wasn't well and took him to the vets on 2nd November; in the month that followed it was appointment after appointment until he was diagnosed with heart failure and he went downhill so quickly. He seemed to rally on my birthday (1st December) even allowing me and my partner to go out for a few hours with my mum sitting with him. Then that evening he was breathing so quickly; we took him into the emergency vets and he was happy for us to either leave him there for observation or take him home. We chose to leave him overnight and I never saw him alive again he deteriorated so rapidly and the vet said it was quite distressing for the last few minutes.

    I know in my heart of hearts that choosing by chance to leave him there turned out to be the best option for him as if we had bought him home he would have suffered and we would have stressed and panicked and tried to get him back to the vets but nothing could be done. But at the same time I beat myself up all the time; I'd always promised him I would be there for him until the end no matter how hard it was and knowing I wasn't breaks my heart as I can't get out of my head that he would have been scared and lonely and looking for me. He was my best friend and we had such a special bond. I miss him dearly xx
     
  7. Deirdre O'Brien

    Deirdre O'Brien PetForums Newbie

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    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a much loved pet is so hard because people just don't understand the grief you are going through. It is very difficult.
     
  8. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Junior

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    So sorry for your loss - I come back to this area of the forum because, after 5 weeks, I still cannot handle the fact that my boy Barns has gone. I would love to say it gets easier, it does not - you can manage the sadness a bit better as time goes on. Just shows what a loving person you are. RIP Jake and Barns. x
     
  9. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi im so sorry to hear about your cat.we had the option to bring jake home but the vet said he would of died in the next 24 48 hours and like you say it would of been more difficult to take him back in a worse state.i think for you it was your cats time and you made the right decision.we only want the best for our pets.my husband and sons stayed with jake i couldnt do it but it was so hard to leave him.it is so hard to live without themand thanks for telling me your story and we get some comfort of our lives with them.thanks again xxx
     
  10. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi thanks for your post and it helps alot.do you have a story thanks againxxx
     
  11. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi thanks so much for your kind words.it has been over a week now and it is still unbearable.would you share your story about barns and so sorry for your loss of barns thanks again xxx
     
  12. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Junior

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    Hello Carol,
    Here is my post about my boy Barns. It's not an easy read. Would just like to say to you, you are not alone in your grief. XXX
    http://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/...-needs-his-teeth-done.441143/#post-1064765190
     
  13. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    I'm so sorry you and your family have had to go through this with your precious boy. Its never easy and it doesn't matter how many pets we have, it doesn't get easier. We lost our 17 year old JR just over a year ago and I miss her every day. They are so much a part of the family and leave a huge hole in our lives. Jake had your love and care right up until the very end, he was a good age, like our gir,l so we must take comfort in the fact that they had long and happy lives and were much loved, which some dogs don't have. You would not have wanted to see him linger and suffer. It might help for you all to make a photo book of Jake and talk about all the good things you did together over the years. Time does make things easier. RIP Jake
     
  14. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi spencer thanks for your message and kind words.also thanks for sharing your story about beautiful barns.i read all the posts and found your story very touching.so sorry about your loss and it is 10 days on since jake and nothing feels any easier.the house is empty and quiet and i feel i can see him every were.this is so hard and you feel like you are never going to get through it.how are you feeling now spencer apart from those lovely memories.thanks again
     
  15. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi and thank you so much for reassurance and kind words.so sorry for your loss with jr.it was such a shock with jake,he was ok in the mor ning and gone in the afternoon.you always expect more time with them.would you share your story about jr.thanks again xxx
     
  16. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    Our little girl was called Smartie, she was a rescue dog we had from a year old and she was 17 when she died. She was the gentlest, sweetest dog who loved everyone. The last seven years of her life she had Cushings Disease which is a very cruel disease and robbed her of her sight and hearing. Towards the end she had dementia and, on the last day, her legs collapsed and we knew that was the day. We had to wait until late afternoon before we could take her to the vet to be put to sleep which was agonising. We gave her her last favourite meal, she always loved her food, took her for a last walk round the garden she loved and gave her lots of cuddles and told her how much we loved her. I held her and kissed her while she went to her final resting place. We now have a photo on our wall with her ashes encased at the back. To this day, I miss that little dog more than I can say, she was my constant companion as I was at home most of the time. I just try to remember that we were so lucky to have so many wonderful years when she enriched our lives.
     
    #16 Charity, Mar 21, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2017
  17. jhosk1981

    jhosk1981 PetForums Junior

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    So sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's early, but it will get easier.
     
  18. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Junior

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    Hi Caroline,
    I do not want to be depressive; but it is no easier - at the moment anyway - when driving, when in the gym, when in the garden - when walking around work, when in bed, when in the bath I think about Barns, and could get very emotional at any point. He was just such a big part of my life, its hard to move on. I think an issue is, that he was sooo nice, so loving - not an aggressive streak in his body. He would just sit in front of me making cute noises, headbutting me constantly. I would wake up with his paw on my face. No other cat will come close, ever. So its a case of being sad, heartbroken, but knowing you have to get on with life - I have my partner and other cats; lucky, as without those I do not think I would survive, and would not want to either. So, sorry to be depressive, but a man could not have loved his cat more than I did my boy, and will miss him every day till the end.
     
  19. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi thank you so much for telling me your story.what a beautiful name smartie and she sounds such a lovely dog.jake was a rescue and had the same temperament as smartie.so sad she got cushings disease.i can read how much you loved her and how you looked after her so well.also thank you for your advice and kind words it does help.you were so brave to stay with her.it is 11 days since loosing jake and my husband is getting his ashes this week.i have cried every day and find things so difficult.did you get another dog after smartie.i hope you dont mind me asking you this.thanks again xxx
     
  20. Caroline Bell

    Caroline Bell PetForums Newbie

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    hi thanks for replying and i can relate to your post so much.you dont have to be sorry to me as you are expressing how you feel about your beautiful barnes and that is how i felt about jake.my husband is getting his ashes this week but i dont find this is helping me.as you say we have to get on with life as hard as it is.it is 11 days since jake and nothing feels any easier yet.thanks again about your thoughts and how you are still feeling.please stay in touch and let me know how you are doing.caroline xx