Devastated

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by DaveB02, Feb 7, 2017.


  1. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    My wife and I lost our beloved beagle (Holly) yesterday, she would have reached the age of 13 in July.
    Having just completed a "hydro-therapy" course for Arthritis and recent dental work, it was if she had been reborn.
    Unknown to us, she had a developing "brain tumour" which manifested itself on Sunday evening.
    A visit to the vet during the early hours saw her return home for an all but brief stay, as later that morning we were faced with the agonising decision to terminate her life.
    We cannot come to terms with her loss, it was all so sudden and has left a massive hole in our lives.
    We have always owned dogs, all of which we felt a huge loss for when gone.
    However, Holly was that "one in a million"
    She had a wonderful life and accompanied us everywhere, and at the moment I keep expecting to see her doing all the things we had come to know her for.
    Her favourite day of the week was shopping day.
    She would inspect every bag looking for the treat that she knew was there, becoming increasingly excited as the bags were unloaded.
    We feel so sad!
     
  2. Honeys mum

    Honeys mum PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2013
    Messages:
    3,388
    Likes Received:
    3,345
    So very sorry for the loss of your lovely girl. My heart goes out to you and know just how you are feeling right now.
    Sounds like Holly was a very special girl, who was very much loved and had a long and happy life with you.
    You have done the last best possible thing you could do for your lovely girl, try to focus on all that and all the special times you had together.
    Take care.xx

    Have fun at the bridge Holly, knowing you were truly loved.xx
     
  3. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for your message-much appreciated
     
  4. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2010
    Messages:
    38,002
    Likes Received:
    8,086
    So very sorry to hear that you have had to say goodbye to Holly. It is an awful decision and breaks your heart. Its one we all dread. The loss does leave such a big hole in your life and is so hard to accept and come to terms with. When we can no longer do anything for them and even with all the love and will in the world and the best treatment that money can by then we only do have one choice and that is to set them free from any more pain and suffering. When I lost my last one, I found this poem
    and it did help me, hope it will help you too to realise you did the right and only thing that you could do.

    May I Go Now?

    May I go now?
    Do you think the time is right?
    May I say goodbye to pain filled days
    and endless lonely nights?
    I've lived my life and done my best,
    an example tried to be.
    So can I take that step beyond
    and set my spirit free?

    I didn't want to go at first,
    I fought with all my might.
    But something seems to draw me now
    to a warm and loving light.
    I want to go
    I really do.
    It's difficult to stay.

    But I will try as best I can
    to live just one more day.
    To give you time to care for me
    and share your love and fears.
    I know you're sad and afraid,
    because I see your tears.

    I'll not be far,
    I promise that, and hope you'll always know
    that my spirit will be close to you
    wherever you may go.
    Thank you so for loving me.
    You know I love you too,
    that's why it's hard to say goodbye
    and end this life with you.

    So hold me now just one more time
    and let me hear you say,
    because you care so much for me,
    you'll let me go today.

    - Written for a beloved pet & friend, by Susan A. Jackson
     
    Smuge likes this.
  5. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    5,491
    Likes Received:
    5,660
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. :(
    Run free Holly. you were very much loved.
     
  6. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
     
  7. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for the reply and kind words.
    The poem is right, but being selfish we wish she could have been well for just one day more to enjoy all the mischief and fun she so loved
     
  8. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you
     
  9. Lisalis

    Lisalis PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    4
    my story sounds so very familiar to yours! I've written a post about it, I too had to put my dog down suddenly last Friday from undiagnosed cancer, and like your dog he was fine up until 2/3 days before, such a shock to your system isn't it? I come home from work and find it hard to understand how this time last week I had a (seemingly) healthy happy dog But please remember you did the right thing, she was suffering and you did a very brave thing, you put your own emotions aside to help her which is something you should be proud of! I'm 5 days in and finding the sadness and depression very hard but the initial shock and disbelief is now over, now just look after yourselves and don't rush the grieving process, cry when you need to, shout and scream, do whatever makes you feel good at the time! Hopefully we'll all get to the acceptance stage sooner rather than later, I truly feel your pain!
     
    Calvine, Honeys mum and kimthecat like this.
  10. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    5,491
    Likes Received:
    5,660
    @Lisalis. I'm sorry to hear that . It feels like you heart is being crushed .

    The grief eases a little in time but you never stop missed your bridge babies.
     
  11. Lisalis

    Lisalis PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    4
    Hopefully it'll ease for all of us! But we mustn't rush the process!
     
  12. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
     
  13. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for those words.
    We know we did the right thing, and in hindsight when we sit down and analyse maybe some "tell tale" signs appeared about 12 months ago.
    Just changes in her behaviour which whilst not significant at the time begin to add up.
    If only she could have talked, although I doubt she could have been cured.
    It would be no exaggeration to say she was ruined, having her favourite chair, bed and on the front seat of the car a sheepskin cover so that she didn't slide about on the leather!
    The house is quiet and I am sure you are the same, expecting them to appear at any point to say hello or in Holly's case just being plain nosy.
    If opening a parcel or mail she had to be involved, any work being undertaken in the house she supervised with a watchful eye.
    The shock is over, but we both keep shedding a tear as we remember her, expecting her presence at any minute.
     
  14. Lisalis

    Lisalis PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    4
    Same here, my dog had 2 particular symptoms, one being an odd cough every now and then where he'd gag at the end of it but it was so random and not consistent enough to warrant a trip to the vets! Also when lying down on his side he had a big bump that would protrude through his stomach, I did actually mention it at my last vets appointment but the vet felt him all over and couldn't feel anything, problem was the lump/bump would only show up when he laid in a certain position, I was told to just keep an eye on it and that it was probably just his intestines digesting his food etc, so I didn't think too much of it after that, how I wish I had now insisted on a scan or x ray! But it probably would have been pointless as the cancer he had was incurable and spreads like wildfire, he was a large breed dog and unfortunately it seemed it was genetic! I totally get you about your home being so quiet, I now dread coming home from work as I know I'm not going to see him greet me at the door, everything just feels so empty, I feel so empty, it's like a part of me went with him But I'm sure you'll agree forums like this are a godsend and really help, I'm also lucky enough to have a great support network who have been brilliant! My other half is my rock at the moment, I hope it's the same for you and your wife, ands let's remember this will get easier with time!
     
  15. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2013
    Messages:
    13,486
    Likes Received:
    19,008
    I'm so sorry, its never easy, Holly was a precious member of your family and much loved. RIP lovely girl.
     
  16. DaveB02

    DaveB02 PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you-time heals but half expect her to walk in at anytime