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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 17-06-2008, 08:46 PM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

What a lovely little lady, bless her
Take care
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 17-07-2008, 12:17 PM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

I apologise now that i will not be stating how sorry i am for your loss ect ect as the subject of your post is "How do you deal with it?" Therefore my reply will attempt to give you some insight in how I deal with such things.

I have not owned a dog before i now have a 1 Year old black Lab called Daisy with any luck my time of 'coming to terms' with her death is far away.

I am not however talking to you from inexperience. In my life i have had 4 cats, 2 hamsters, about 9 fish (but they count as 1 pet collectively i say), 1 snake, 2 ducks and a Sugar Glider (look 'em up on youtube). None of the above our in this world today so I have had experience with death of a loved pet.

Id like to think i am quite a sensitive person and as a result the death of the first few beloved animals hit me really hard, almost on par with the death of a human family member....almost. After the first few times i decided it was certainly time to come up with some way of dulling the pain.

So my advice to you is this. Look at the purchase of your pet differently. I have got Daisy with the strong view that I have bought a dog to make my life more enjoyable. I have not bought Daisy to make it better, i have bought a DOG. This is not to say i will pay her less love and attention as it seems especially with dogs the more love and attention you put in, the better dog you get out. But this is not like a child, everything you do must be selfish, you feed her not so that she will not be hungry but so that you may walk her, you train her not so that she will lead a stable life but so that YOU will enjoy your time with her (or 'it' if you can bring yourself to that level).

This may seem somewhat cold-hearted and to some extent it is but i must stress that there is NO DIFFERENCE in the way you treat your dog, merely the motivation behind it. You still grow to love your pet but when its time here comes to an end, your pain is somewhat dissolved by the thought of simply replacing her/him. Rather than "oh my god im never going to find one like Daisy again" No, you wont, but you never wanted Daisy, you wanted a dog, and there are LOTS of those about.

I hoped this helped and even if you dont agree with any of my statements i hope you find comfort in the fact that with enough careful and critical thought the human mind may be trained to handle even the more painful stimuli.

Please do not hesitate to private message me with any further questions.

DO however hesitate to private message me your critisisms of this post, that is what 'reply to thread' is for. It works for me and it eliminates the months of mourning after loosing a loved pet.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 17-07-2008, 03:46 PM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

God Bless her - she's gorgeous. There are a lot of people here who know exactly what that pain is like - myself included. I lost my Tag just two weeks ago and even now the tears are flowing (can anyone explain why it actually physically hurts so much?). I am trying very hard to put all thoughts of why he had to die out of my mind, I don't want those nightmares for the rest of my life. Instead I tell myself that I was there for him. I soothed away his fear. I relieved him of his pain, and he fell asleep peacefully in my arms. He didn't know he would never wake up. He just fell asleep. Just over a week later I adopted another dog. It's a long story that I won't bore you with, but I needed a lively mutt around me, and he needed a home. It is an excellent distraction, and I already love this little guy. That's how I am dealing with it. Oh, and I got blind drunk, blubbered forcefully, smashed a few plates etc, but I dont remember that bit...

((((Big Hug))))
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Old 18-07-2008, 12:28 AM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

You are so right - it hurts like hell, not just weeks later but months later. Unlike our Methical friend that would choose us to compartmentalise the loss of an animal friend as just another event in life - those of us with a preponderance for compassion see it as a painful experience.

In fact I see it as the loss of a companion in my life - my baby shared so many of my life experiencies with me that I really do hurt that she can no longer share with my life - almost to the extent that my life is worthless without her.

Be selfshish my methical friend - watch the rest of us enjoy compassion, nature, life, and sharing our planet with a rich environment of animal life that we may never fully appreciate.

Do not hurt when you, as we, loose a special companion - do not cry, remain strong, do not show any compassion, die alone.

My Best Regards
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Old 18-07-2008, 08:47 AM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

Im sorry for your loss.
Having been there - I know the pain and how you feel. What if we had done this or did that sooner. You still hear them and feel them near.
Months pass, and like a bolt out of the blue - something reminds you of them - but you remember the good times.

To me - my dogs are daughters and sons, and loved the same as the kids.
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Old 18-07-2008, 08:55 PM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

im so sorry for your loss i hope in time thing will fill better for you
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Old 22-07-2008, 11:06 AM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

it's never easy - esp when the decision to put them down is in our hands.
I've had a friend, who's dog (a 2-mth old havanese) was so ill - she started having seizure every few hours uncontrollably , in a state of coma - she asked me, "is it cruel to put them down?"

I was hurt, but i gathered my strength n I asked her, "Seizure is a tormenting experience. Would you rather him in pain, or you'd rather he sleep peacefully?"

Girl Girl was euthanized later... and we had our shares of tears together.
It was not easy, but with a friend's help - somehow things seem shared - and not so much of a burden.
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Old 26-07-2008, 12:29 AM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

Maybe sharing our loss helps a little; maybe understanding that others also hold similar regard to the loss of our dear pets also helps a little; but maybe all it is -is shedding our tears together. I for one still shed my tears five and half months after losing my darling baby girl - my life companion of almost nineteen years - the most beautiful tortie feline with a great independant attitude - and I do not deny that I was firmly 'under the dew claw' Quite simply I love her and I miss her so much.
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Old 26-07-2008, 12:47 AM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

You want the honest truth? Basically you don't , you never deal with it, they are snatched away from you and you never forget them, vistit rainbow bridge, and cry your eyes out, she's worth every tear you shread and more besides. Try and bear comfort in the knowledge that she is waiting at RB for you.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss - my thoughts are with you
regards
sue
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Old 26-07-2008, 07:04 AM
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Re: How do you deal with it?

Losing a pet can be more emotional than losing a parent.

They give their love unconditional and after many years of such devotion they are taken from us. Yet we are not permitted the same luxury of grief as with a family member in our society.

We have no big funeral, no family and friends bringing baking around, no time off work to grieve.

Your should allow yourself time to grieve. You should also make a memorial and celebrate your memories. And you should take comfort in knowing she has been set free from her pain.

But there is no simple cure for your pain
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