new forest ponies are not the easiest of ponies, esp young ones....my 5 year old bucked me right off and broke my cocsyx bone.

backing, breaking and schooling requires an experieced and confident rider and also a sympathetic one!

horses can become headstrong if you are heavy with your hands and pullig o the bit, thus making them pull through it....i have a fjord who pulls against me and drags me around as he has been getting away with it for 12 years since i had him.....what have i done? simply scrapped his bit, goe bitless, done groundwork and restarted him from scratch, and hes a 13 year old! hes no easier than a youngster

hello
FOr me, I think you should feel like you have control and have effective aids in the menage FIRST. Start back at the beginning, go back to school I effectively and find what upsets you. Then go and do lots of it!! The more you avoid something, the worse it becomes but in a school you are safer than in the outdoors.
Also there is no shame in riding the good ones out. In fact it is safer and more enjoyable. Dont feel that it means you are bad, it means you are learning.
Find a good trainer who will give you confidence, so that you know what you are doing is correct and effective. GOod luck!

Going back to your second query, in short - no.
Breaking and backing is the most important part to a horse's life, it sets up his future. You have admitted to insecurities and nervousness around horses, you dont want this to transfer to a baby horse. Any bad expereinces that he has as a youngster will stay with him for life. So with all due respect, Id go and watch, help on the floor etc, but for your confidence and his- I wouldnt get on.

okay, thankyou everyone ! you have been very helpful.

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There is no such thing as a problem, the solutions just haven't been figured out yet !

Everyday is a fashion show, and the world is your runway !

the whole confidence issue: if you can try and ride a boomproof horse that will boost your confidence. doing as much as you can on it and to learn as much possible, try and think positive when around horses e.g live life to the full and achieve you goals. As for backing a youngster its not for the faint hearted you do need a lot of confidence before you start otherwise it could al go wrong for you and the pony.

okay thankyou everyone for all your advice!!
Ive started grooming her more, and I'm going to take it slowly and see what happens! I've enlisted help from a local professional, so hopefully fingers crossed!! thankyou again for all your help!

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There is no such thing as a problem, the solutions just haven't been figured out yet !

Everyday is a fashion show, and the world is your runway !

Good on you for having lessons and taking things slowly, definately the way forward!
But I definately would not recommend breaking a 3year old. I think handling the 3 year old would be a good thing to do as it is alot less advanced on the ground and you could learn alot from doing this but I would recommend and experienced rider to break the pony.

Like Sharon_Gurney and Cascara and a few others have said, backing is serious business for the horse and the rider. It is a very uncontrolable position to be in, especially being a beginnner!! If that pony decides enough is enough then there is quite a slim change you will be able to keep toe situation controlled and yes it would severly knock your confidence, as well as the ponies.

This is not meant harshly as you are obviosuly very enthusiastic as to getting back into the saddle but I lost my confidence and regaining it is a big deal. Something tiny could happen which would knock you back to square one! It has taken me 3 years to regain mine though knock backs of dealing with horses which were too much for me.

I now am almost 100% but only because I took it slow.

Good Luck in the future!!