I am facing a big trouble when applying leg aids during trot or canter to increase the speed:

1- Either i lose knee & thigh contact.
or
2- My feet or one of them get out of the stirrup
or
3- I try to keep knee and thigh contact while kicking with my legs, so i find it not strong enough or i am unable to get them far enough to give a strong kick so i just feel it uneffective or like just squeezing.

Please, give me an effective way or the right shape and strength of how to give a leg kick during a trot or canter, is it just inwards or little bit backward or what, and what's the timming to avoid losing balance or missing the harmony with the horse motion?

If there is a video that can show this clearly, it would be great.

Thanks in advance!

Kicking is usually reserved for riding school horses and learners at their first attempts to trot and canter. The aids should be much lighter, using the seat to create impulsion and forward movement. Literally squeezing the horse forward. Have you checked the length and position of your stirrups? What kind of saddle are you using as some saddles make it easier to sit correctly than others.

I am not sure about my seat when I want to canter, sometimes I feel I am really missing something to give the horse the impulsion or the feel that I want to canter, but i just find myself moving or pushing with my seat to give this feeling, but I don't think it's right.

Can you make it clear regarding the seat impulsion?

I am using a close contact stubben saddle.

Well to be a bit err blunt, an exaggerated seat push would be like trying to umm, well you know that dance where guys shake their booty and thrust forwards, that kind of thing with your tail and seat bone as if you are pushing the back of the horse on forwards. This is the moment in lessons when my students giggle like mad as I show them lol, but they get the meaning and then after a few tries the deep seat contact feels more natural and the horse responds by increasing their impulsion and rounding into the canter.
<< exit one red faced Cassie lol

this was illustraive

Tell me if I got it right >>

So, the deep seat is achieved by my bottom thrust forward? coz i really get confused of my instructor or friends when they tell me : if you want to canter, first maintain a deep seat, i am like, ummm, i am sitting deeply already, what else

is it just the thrust i make which means the deep seat as you mentioned? is it enough to let the horse respond? how to avoid confusing the horse with this thrust movement or losing balance?

my questions are alot? but you must have seen it's all nearly about the same points, thanks again

hehe i did giggle then when reading Cascaras post but totally spot on luv said so diplomatically!
Along side the thrusting encouragement keep the leg long and relaxed! outside leg slightly back inside leg on the girth little squeeze thrust and relax thrust squeeze relax once you have canter squeeze relax squeeze relax etc!but remember dont over think it! Imagine what you want the horse to do next, then do it! You may benefit from a private lesson on the lunge line with no stirups hun cause it will improve your balance! But you should consult your instructor and ask for their opinion if your not satisfied maybe move instructor or yard!