A little girl goes into a pet store and asks

'Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?'

The shop keepers heart melts, he gets on his knees so that he is on her level and says

'do u want a widdle white wabbit or on like that fwuffy bwack wabbit? or one like that widdle bwown one over there?'

The little girl blushes, puts her hands on her knees, rocks on her shoes, leans forward and says....



'I weally dont fink my pyfon gives a f*ck!!!'

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Mellissa xxx

Pmsl!!.....:d

Driver stopped for speeding,

Asked by policeman for his occupation.

Driver replies 'Rectum Stretcher...'

'What on earths that?' replies the cop

Driver says, 'you put one finger in, then two, then your fist, then both hands and then stretch it until its 6ft wide.'

Cop looks bemused and asks 'what do you do with a 6ft ********?'

Driver replies....

'Give him a uniform and a speed gun!'

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Mellissa xxx

hehehehe!!!!!

25 stone woman getting ready for a fancy dress party is upset as she has nothing to wear.

She asks her husband for advice...

Husband pipes up and says....

'Pull you p*ss flaps over your head and go as a sugar puff!'

__________________
Mellissa xxx

oooooooohhhhhh
good ones

The oldies are always the best lol...

Anyone got any to brighten the day?

__________________
Mellissa xxx

this is in no way meant in a racist way



Doctor: 'Paddy, your wifes had triplets!'

Paddy: I'm not surprised, I've got a c*ck like a chimney'

Doctor: 'Well you better get it swept, the kids are Black!!!'

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Mellissa xxx

8 ways vodka is better than c*ck...

1: Vodka is always stiff
2: Vodka doesn't look smaller when it's cold
3: Vodka lasts as long as you want it to
4: Vodka doesn't prod you in the back in the morning demanding attention
5: You don't care how far down your throat vodka goes
6: You can have as many vodkas as you want in 1 night without looking like a slut
7: You can enjoy a vodka infornt of your mum
8: Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow

__________________
Mellissa xxx