Truths and Questions

Atheism is a non - prophet organisation.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The older you get, the better you realise you were.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

PMSL i can imaging my daughter askink me questions like that!!!

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You never own a cat unless the cat owns you!

how do blind people with no fingers read?

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good 1 i once saw a sign that said " for the braille school" who was that for????

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

LMAO Barney you're funny lmao

thankyou matey

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.