art: parenting style often mirrors training + rearing style for pups...

leashedForLife · #1 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 08:01 AM

thats why so many breeders want to see the kids with the parents -
if the parents *cannot* firmly but kindly get the 5-YO to sit on the floor in order to get a pup in their laps,
the breeder is pretty sure any pup will have trouble getting housetrained, let alone socialized, habituated + taught manners.

Steven Weber: Desperate Fathers

how would this man raise a puppy?

(clue: the punished, barring deliberate willful conscious change, will punish.)

hobo99 · #2 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 09:17 AM

I have just read all of that ,dont know what to think though ,

,it reads so much like my upbringing and from experience i would say that not everyone who is brought up like that will turn out the same as their parents .

My children where well behaved without me bullying them , and strangely enough we used to breed dogs and the children always sat on the floor with the pups .

Maybe i missed the point ?

hawksport · #3 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 09:59 AM

The point is people will usually bring up a dog with the same methods they bring up children. People that scream at kids all day and smack them round the back of the head will yank dogs round on check chains and use rolled up newspapers to educate puppies about house training. The second point was that a lot of people that are bought up like this as children, unless they make a concious decision not to will bring up their own children in a similar manner.

ArwenLune · #4 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 10:45 AM

I wouldn't give a puppy to that man, no. But I can respect the amount of self-awareness he has come to, and his struggles to break the chain of violence.

hobo99 · #5 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hawksport

The point is people will usually bring up a dog with the same methods they bring up children. People that scream at kids all day and smack them round the back of the head will yank dogs round on check chains and use rolled up newspapers to educate puppies about house training. The second point was that a lot of people that are bought up like this as children, unless they make a concious decision not to will bring up their own children in a similar manner.

Yes well i sort of got it( maybe it hit home a bit too much with the upbringing bit) , I dislike shouting ,i rarely raise my voice and my dogs (and children when younger they are grown up now ) do as i ask, BUT my o/h does shout at times , i hate it ,

and when he does the dogs will not do as he asks,

so he just gets more annoyed shouts louder then tells me the dogs are badly behaved .
So it would seem that both animals and humans relate better when spoken to in a calm and quiet manner.
Sorry if i rambled on.

leashedForLife · #6 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobo99

I dislike shouting ,i rarely raise my voice and my dogs (and children when younger... [adults now]) do as i ask,
BUT my o/h does shout at times , i hate it and when he does the dogs will not do as he asks so he just gets more annoyed shouts louder ... then tells me the dogs are badly behaved.

i AM sorry, but that image did make me laugh!

i can just see it,

its such a familiar sequence...

it reminds me very-much of how Merikans deal with furriners, whether they are at home in the USA (where everybody
oughta speak INGlish, doncha know

) or in the furriners own home-country...

Merikan from USA-heartland gets into NYC taxi; cabbie is Greek, Italian, Thai, summat -
and the Merikan-passenger when s/he cannot make themselves understood the first time, talks louder as if that would help

talking Slower might help; alternate wording might help... but louder?

no help there!

Quote:

So it would seem that both animals and humans relate better when spoken to in a calm and quiet manner.

i think so, too.

all my best,
--- terry

kaisa624 · #7 (**permalink**) 27-03-2010, 09:05 PM

Ye, Holly'll run away from someone if they are shouting... apart from when you're recalling her in the park as you have to shout. But in the house, she will only respond to a firm tone, not shouting.

When we went to the breeder's house for Holly, I didn't really like the fact that my OH's mom decided to bring her granddaughter, and she couldn't get her to sit on the floor, however I went over to her, she was almost 5 at the time, and just said "if you want to hold a pup you'll have to sit on the floor..." she looked at me as if to say "no way", so I just said "so you don't want to hold the fluffy animal", so she sat, then I placed Holly (at 3 weeks) on her lap and said "be gentle, like you are with Snowdrop (our hammy)", she was great. Even the breeder was impressed, and she laughed at my OH's mom as she couldn't control her own granddaughter haha...

oops, rant, sorry xx

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