hi i am new

i was wondering if anyone can give me some advice. i have 2 dogs. both huskies and they both get walked everyday so i know its not lack of exercise. the older one lady is 15 months old and the younger one misty is 3 months old.

we got misty as lady is quite an attention seeking dog and we didnt think she would cope well with us bringing a baby home (im currently 27 weeks pregnant). she doesnt cope when she gets shut in a room on her own which will obviously happen as times when baby is born so i thought get another dog as i love huskies and she has a play mate but i also understand is you shut 2 dogs in a room together they cope better but if its just one they feel excluded from the pack.

well we have had misty for 3 weeks now and things are ok but not great.

misty is much more confident than lady, lady will get all jumpy and barky if someone comes to the door or if someone tries to pet her in the street she tries to run away. misty will wonder over to people for fusses etc so you get the picture that misty is quite confident but she is a very loving dog.

lady is not coping well with misty and i dont think she likes her. we had the inital problems with the sleeping but now they both sleep in the front room together all night and with no crying however lady was worse than misty and would scratch at our door and whine most of the night.

lady has started trashing things when we go out (she has in the past but this is getting out of hand) and we know it is lady and not misty. yesterday misty was in her crate when we went out whilst lady was in the front room and lady got loads of my baby bits out everywhere and ripped up a dvd case, tv remote. she knew as soon as i got home she was in trouble and i didnt even say anything to her so she knows what she is doing is wrong. the day before she trashed a £60 xbox remote that isnt even ours. we tried putting her in the kitchen but she seems to escape and hates being in there.

she will play with misty but normally goes over board and bully like. so she will either make misty cry or box her into her a corner so misty cant get out- which i find quite bullying behaviour. this morning i gave them both a fuss (misty gets so excited to see me) and lady tried to smack misty to push her away.

she has scratched the hell out of our new door in the kitchen becasue she tries to escape everytime she is put in there when we go out. she tries to snatch toys and chews off misty all the time. lady is also not listening very much anymore. for a husky she was actually a very obediant dog but now if i tell her to lay down she will push her luck with me big time. its like she is a law in to herself these days.

she has ruined the new door and door trim we put up in the kitchen, the tv remote no longer works.

its really starting to upset me a lot and my husband is getting really annoyed with it too.

i have tried having alone time with lady. she has had walks on her own, fusses on her own but i cant keep excluding the poor little puppy. if i call lady up for a cuddle on the sofa within 5 mins she is down again but misty will sit up there with me for hours cuddling me.

sorry its so long but i just dont think i can cope with lady if she carries on this way and a baby too. i need to start toilet training misty but with all of ladies problems misty is being neglected and just pooing anywhere really.

if anyone can offer some advice that would be great. i dont live in a house i live in a flat so i cant just pop them out into a back garden either.

i also do not want to get rid of my dogs. we got lady after our daughter passed away and she helped me so much and gave me a reason to get out of the house and keep smiling. the dogs are my fur babies and i really just couldnt get rid of them it would break my heart x

I really think you need to see a qualified behaviourist to get these issues dealt with. Sounds to me as if Lady is suffering from seperation anxiety (very common when you get a dog that's overattached to you) and being with Misty isn't helping her cope.

Huskies can be very strong willed and bossy, Lady is quite naturally jealous of your new pup, and is acting up because of it. It's normal she's been used to you being by yourself and babying her, and she didn't ask for a friend who now takes your attention away from her.

Sometimes we have to accept that some dogs will never get on, and just try to manage the situation but as Misty is so young we don't know yet how things will turn out, so don't get too down about it.

Punsihments and telling off do nothing in these situations, it wil only make Lady more depressed.

I know that this doesn't help you now, but getting a second dog when the first one isn't happy is never the right decision, you weren't to know but it's much much better to sort the first one's problems out before you get the 2nd. Misty may well have behaved the same had you had her as a pup instead of Lady, so it's not Lady's fault she's feeling so depressed and sad that you (her Mum) is leaving her.

I'll Be Home Soon: How to Prevent and Treat Separation Anxiety is a great book on how to deal with these problems. I'll Be Home Soon: How to Prevent and Treat Separation Anxiety: Amazon.co.uk: Patricia Mcconnell: Books

Do you and your OH both work full time? One of the ways is by building up the time you spend apart very slowly, the dog then learns you will be back and not to worry, eventually, it takes a while to carry out a desentisation plan!

Have a read of this clicker solutions article for ideas

ClickerSolutions Training Articles -- Separation Anxiety

I really, really would recommend a behaviourist come and speak to you and assess the dogs, as you can only give out so much advice online without seeing the dog's and observing their behaviour first hand. If you could tell us your area, we might know of good behaviourists or trainers local to you. They will also help with the new baby introduction and how the relationship between your two gdogs can be improved.

G'luck, you can get through this!

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Use your brain, not a choke chain.

thank you for taking the time respond today.

i kind of realised today whilst walking the dogs that this is all my own doing and i feel a bit silly. i have treated lady like a child for so long and not a dog. i feel guilty over silly things like leaving them on their own etc. its like i keep forgetting they are not human beings they are dogs so very different to humans.

i agree there is a lot of anxiety there and a lot of jealousy and i havent helped it. everyone said i was silly getting another dog and i guess they are right. i knew lady had some issues that like i said havent been helped me but getting misty has really highlighted these problems and i geniunly thought it would help her having a friend. she gets lonely and bored these were the main reasons behind getting misty but all i have done is made lady worse.

i think what will help as well is getting misty properly trained like lady. lady obviously knows the basics like sit, stay, lay down. she knows paw, other paw, say hello. misty only knows sit and stay so i cant treat them the same just yet as misty doesnt know "lay down on your bed" so time needs to be put in there too.

my husband works full time but i only work 2 and a half days a week. also my husband does shifts so they are rarely left alone to be honest. we try to make sure if they are here its not for more than about 3-4 hours. i go on maternity leave in about 7 weeks so i will have a couple of weeks to really work with them before baby is born but obviously i cant leave this situation the way it is for another 7 weeks its not fair on them.

i live in norwich and i agree i need some outside help

*hates looking at her old posts and seeing spelling errors*

Anyway...

Hey, life is a learning curve don't beat yourself up about it! The important thing is you asked for help, small steps and all that.

Dave Brice I know and is good, would be worth contacting him as he's in Fakenham and will come to you.

DB Dog Behaviour and Training

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Use your brain, not a choke chain.

thanks for your help, really appreciate it

wonderful post, Walker! rep for that...

there is only 1 thing that i would add -
if the elder-bitch is NOT spayed, i would do so, ASAP, as this pup is approx 12-weeks from puberty.
bitch-wars are the worst, and can even happen between 2 spayed-Fs, but hopefully this is being caught early, and all will grow calm, the dogs will be good friends, and no serious aggro / injuries.

all my best wishes for a peaceful household,
--- terry

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terry pride, APDT-Aus, apdt#1827, CVA, TDF
*wolves R wolves, dogs R dogs, + primates R us.*
tmp, sept-2007

I'm sorry but dogs do NOT know what they are doing is wrong, they just don't have that concept.

It sounds to me like she has seperation anxiety which needs dealing with asap.

Crating works well I looked after my friends northern inuit who had seperation anxiety and within a few days he was happy to be left in the crate for 3 hours during the day as well as at night. He is now fine to be left at home with the crate open and doesn't chew.

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I agree, a behaviourist is definitely needed - if you read too much on the internet or in books you will just end up confused and disheartened and wont know where to start!!

My advice though is to do some proper research on the behaviourist you get ... make sure you ask them what sort of methods and beliefs they have and make sure that they are ones you are comfortable with! There are so many people out there with different ideas about how to do things, you have to be careful you dont waste your money. So many of my clients have paid out hundreds for different behaviourists and have had no success, either because the advice given hasnt worked or the owners have had no faith in the methods so havent followed them through!

I'm not knocking behaviourists (i'm one myself haha) I'm just saying be sure before you pay out lots of money to them ... ask for references etc too - you've every right to!

Make sure you also understand WHY you are doing what they suggest - i'm a great believer that if you understand why you are doing something you are more likely to commit to it and make it work, you are also more skilled at applying the principles to all the situations rather than just learning set things parrot fashion!

I hope that helps and I hope that you have lots of success with your behaviourist!

Let us know how you get on and if you want any further advice please feel free to message me!

Helen