oh, honey, don;t cry, U;ll have me blubbing in a minute -
and U;ve got tea in Ur saucer, sit down, dear, i;ll get this dry and be back in a jif...
(pause...)


THERE, all sorted, and now U just tell me about some of those ppl and their lovely dogs...
and i do not believe for One Minute!, no not even a Second!, that U were anything but a help and a blessing...
don;t U listen to those carping ninnies, they have never even seen U work with a dog - How would they know?...

there, i have my cup, and the pots just there, help Urself, dearie...
now what about those dogs and families?...

__________________
terry pride, APDT-Aus, apdt#1827, CVA, TDF
*wolves R wolves, dogs R dogs, + primates R us.*
tmp, sept-2007

you lot are nuts no wonder the dogs are taking over the world!

__________________

Dear Agony-Auntie

Now my head is spinning, though that may simply be the result of imagining Juliette Binoche playing the role of the winsome young Afghan. Whoa, will definitely be booking front row seats for that one!

Thank you for your brilliantly entertaining and informative reply; it helps to explain the appalling state of my bank balance. I had no idea that our dogs could be so cunning. Over the past couple of years I've spent a fortune on treats, toys, bedding, accessories, and, I see from my bank statement, a very exotic holiday which I certainly never had. I thought I was doing all this voluntarily, but I now see that I was probably under the influence!

At last, yes at last, I'm beginning to understand what my role as a novice dog trainer involves. Unfortunately I've been using the Marshmallow Method for far too long, and it's time for some remedial action.

From now on I will avoid all eye contact with my dog, Bingley. I realise now that he has such dominant eyes and innate hypnotic skills, that I can't possibly begin to aspire to Pack Leadership if I look at him directly. So, no more eye contact. That does place me in a minor quandary of course, because I've been told by people who have TV Programmes and International Book Deals that I should regularly stare my dog down with a glare of subsuming ferocity. And I've gotten good at those glares, a skill honed whilst watching DVDs of the aforementioned TV programmes, so I wouldn't want to give them up. Maybe I'll just need use a mirror.

But at last I'm starting to see the light and I now vow to replace Respect with Dominance. The idea of Bingley going off with Juliette and not inviting me along is appalling and I can see that a new training system is urgently required. I noticed on one of the other threads that I should be pinning my dog 22 times a day. I appreciate that the author is vastly more experienced than I am and must have done a lot of research in order to come up with the optimum number of pins per day. 22 sounds about right.

Being methodical I've worked that out as 1 pin every 1.9 hours, so I'll have to set the alarm clock. Or maybe I could just get it over with all at once and set a new world record of 22 pins in 2.5 minutes. I've already had to administer monthly injections for the past year, so I reckon I'll be a dab hand with the pins.

So from now on it's time for a new philosophy and a new motto:

Away with the clickers and out with the pins, I say.

Thank you so much for your help.

Yours (enlightened and longer worried, but now strangely unhappy) newbie-Rob

i second that, inkdog - Absorbine-Jr can be a great help to overused muscles...
of course, U may have to sleep in the car, the OH will probably object vociferously,
but U will be less painful, WTH.

perhaps pinning the dog on a raised-surface would help avoid back-strain?...
hah! inspiration strikes... i shall return anon... hurries off...

WHERE is *billy mays* when i need him... this could be a fortune in retail...
anybody want to join the original investor-pool?

off for developmental capital, gotta run,
--- terry

__________________
terry pride, APDT-Aus, apdt#1827, CVA, TDF
*wolves R wolves, dogs R dogs, + primates R us.*
tmp, sept-2007

Terry,

I hope that you find a sympathetic venture capitalist soon because I NEED a Pin That Pooch! Bench. A brilliant idea for a product. And like most brilliant products, I didn't know I needed it until I was told that I needed it. I need a new saw-horse anyway and this sounds like it might serve that purpose as well. Brilliant, a multi purpose Pin That Pooch! Bench. How could I possibly resist? Does it fold up? I'd need one that folds up so that I could put it in the back of the car and take it to the beach. Then I could put the pooch on the Pin That Pooch! Bench on the beach. Peachy!

hey, inkdog! :--)

we do not have a folding-model yet, because of the 300# safety factor...
hmmm, have to get the design team on that one! and we would need S/S
for the frame + fittings, due to the corrosion from saltwater... that would bump
the manufacture-co$t up by a good 40% over mild steel...
but its do-able! i;ll get back to ya...
cheers,
--- terry

__________________
terry pride, APDT-Aus, apdt#1827, CVA, TDF
*wolves R wolves, dogs R dogs, + primates R us.*
tmp, sept-2007