Hi

Tala had been doing so well going to bed, hubby has a routine of putting the cats out, lights out, sleep time, shuts Tala in kitchen/diner. For 10 days we havent heard a peep at bedtime.

Hubby was tired last night, so I did the routine, and she would NOT settle, she woke our daughter up, she was barking, jumping at the kitchen door (which is glass paneled), I left her for 30 mins, waited for a gap in the noise and ended up sleeping in the family room area of the kitchen, on the sofa, because by this time it was gone midnight, everyone was awake, and hubby needed to sleep as he does a manual job (its not safe for him to be tired at work!)

Do you think this is all because I put her to bed instead of hubby?

I wouldnt actually have an issue with her sleeping upstairs if it meant she slept at night, but I'm scared stiff about leaving her in the day/eve if we go out because our neighbours are SOOOOOO miserable, if she barked her head off they'd have a fit! (we're having our garden done and there is a bit of mud on the driveway, and he's not speaking to us because of this - he is a prize pr*ck!)

Any advise peps?

Julie x

Sounds like it's because of change in routine, Why don't u and hubby do it together for about a week, and then maybe you could do it on your own?

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i agree but try to decrease the amount of time hubby is with you during the routine gradually as it will not be so much of a shock when you take it full time.
wendy

Different routine, but also likely that she is over bonded with you and not so much with your other half, so when you go, she misses you terribly, but because he may be more 'offhand' with her and matter of fact, it is no big deal when he goes.

If it could possibly be this, then you need to not give her so much attention, even not talking to her for half an hour before bedtime,so that when you go it is more of a relief that you have gone, than dispair!!

It is also telling that you slept downstairs with her, I understand your reasons, I am all for an easy life too, but would your hubby have done that?

Kate

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Just because I can't talk, doesn't mean you can't understand me

Yes it could be because hubby normally does the routine and you did it. My ben can let my dogs out for a wee 5 minutes before I get in from work but they will not settle until I have got in and let them out again. They are happy enough if OH or Ben lets them out during the day but it has to be me that lets them out at tea time.

She knows that when hubby has let her out thats it its time to settle down and go to sleep because you did it she wouldn't settle as to her it wasn't right. If hubby had gone down let her into the garden for 5 minutes then put her to bed she would have most likely settled down.

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Sammy you may be gone but your sprit will always live on in the sunbeams R I P Sammy

William- 6/11/03 - 24/3/10
Midge - 8/2/11 - 10-2-11

Hi Kate

Its strange actually, Hubby fusses over her FAR more than I do, always hugging her, kissing her etc!! I am more stand off-ish with her because I want her to know who is in charge.

I'm actually wondering whether she just dislikes closed doors...... tonight for instance I went up and had a bath, and usually Tala wanders upstairs to see where I am, or if I close her in the kitchen she barks and whines..... but tonight (with hubby out) she came up once, I told her to go downstairs, she did, I praised her, then she just led quietly in the kitchen like she would if we were in here.

I dont really want her to sleep upstairs, but I also dont want her to be in distress, especially as she also has kennel cough (was diagnosed yesterday).

What would you do? Take into account that one or the other of us gets up with her at 5am anyway and ends up going back to sleep in the kitchen (on a sofa, not the floor, LOL)

Thanks

Julie

We gave in last night, and left the kitchen door open, and we slept until 8.30am!! This is a vast improvement on the 4/5am's we were getting. I feel human this morning, not zombie like. She did end up at the end of our bed on the floor, but to be honest I dont really mind. She'll never be in the bed with us....... we'd have to readdress the situation then

I'll probaby get told off now for giving her her own way.....?? is it THAT bad though?

p.s we didnt close her in, her bark, we give in...... we just allowed it from the start of the evening. I bet our miserable neighbours are pleased!!

LOL

If it works for you do it!!! If there is no reason to leave the door shut i.e. toileting in the house etc. then don't.

However, you do need to go down the route of teaching her that she can be left alone for short periods, starting with when you are in the house, otherwise you will get problems in the future with being able to leave her and then you may get some separation anxiety coming in.

Start just five minutes when you are in the house, leaving her with a stuffed Kong, making no fuss when you go back in etc. reassuring her outside the room, but not entering until she is calm. Build this up gradually.

Glad you found the solution to the immediate problem.

Kate

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