Originally Posted by Colette

...I pretty much agree with everything that Terry... has said - although it certainly wasn't tactful!
(No offense of course Terry).

Originally Posted by Colette

...you have two options:

1) Get professional (qualified, vet-referred behaviourist) help & follow it to the letter, no matter how much
time, money & effort that involves... not just you, but OH doing it right - he MUST be on board with any
behaviour modification or it will not work. Give this dog everything he needs to overcome his problems,
until he no longer gets distressed.

2) Rehome him.

... I very much doubt [rehoming] would cause more suffering than he currently [endures].
This is not a happy dog. He [shows]... intense stress / distress / fear etc. including full blown panic attacks.
He can't cope with being alone, & now is... attacked (he can not associate "punishment" with something
he isn't doing at the time).

...if you can't end his suffering, then rehoming him would be by far the lesser of two evils.

...this dog is NOT being "naughty". He's highly distressed & probably has very little control over his behaviour;
especially the elimination issues. Punishing him (which includes any "scolding") is not simply useless;
it has and will make him worse!!

... for some reason the dog originally found being home alone bad and scary. Then suddenly you started to scold him
when you got home. Now it's escalated --- your husband appears to be losing control & terrifying the poor dog.
...the dog has even more reason to hate being left - not only it is terrifying being alone, it is terrifying
when you return because terrible things happen.

I am frankly sickened and appalled by your husbands behaviour -
if he "punished" a child so severely he caused him to wet or crap himself with fear
how would you feel?

Originally Posted by Colette

In terms of treating the problem this [will] take a huge amount of time & effort... whilst it's happening,
this dog can not be left alone - period. Any time he's left before he is ready will only set him back further.
You can both take time off work, get friends or relatives to stay with him, have a dog sitter / walker take him out
or whatever, but do not leave him alone.

...then start from scratch, initially with simply getting him used to not being in the same room etc before moving on
to pretending to leave, [then leave] for a matter of seconds, etc. & build... gradually making it as [happy]
& calm as possible.
[SNIP]
...other things worth trying... DAP diffusers or Rescue Remedy or even medication to help keep him calm
but [b]these [must] be used in conjunction with a proper behaviour modification plan...
on their own, they are unlikely to have much effect.

I'd also suggest both of you [embark] on a fun programme of positive reinforcement, fun training to try
to rebuild the bond between you. Your husband has done an excellent job of shattering the dogs trust
& confidence, so far.

You really need to seek professional help on this one. I'd strongly suggest you ask your vet to refer you
to a qualified behaviourist (if you're in the UK I'd recommend APBC or COAPE registered).

...if ANYONE, husband or not, terrified my dog [so that s/he voided] in fear, they'd never enter my home again
& I'd sure as hell do the same to him.

Originally Posted by newfiesmum

The best thing you can do for this dog is rehome him, or better still, rehome the husband.
Are you going to allow him to treat your children this way?

Originally Posted by Manoy Moneelil

Deep breaths.

You feel the tension leaving your body in waves.

You feel relaxed and refreshed.

When I click my fingers you can open your eyes and you will be fully awake.

3... 2... 1....

Originally Posted by Colette

Manoy - I just wanted to explain the reasons I didn't agree with your diagnosis...

Originally Posted by goodvic2

OP - contact me for help on rehoming