We have had Sasha now just over 2 weeks. Very shy and nervous, but she's coming out of her shell a little. She adores Anya and plays well with her. Her eating is only a little better but she still won't eat if hubby is in the kitchen. If he tries to walk her she flat out`refuses to go.
She follows me everywhere I go, will eat for me and walk happily, either alone or with Anya. Yet she will run away from hubby and avoid him at all costs. Frustrating cos he is the softest, gentlest man I know and has shown her nothing but kindness.
A couple of times I have gone to bed before him and the dogs come too. He has come up about 20 minutes later and she has barked and growled at him
Yesterday we seemed to be making progress. She was taking treats from him and allowing him to stroke her, although she didn't look happy. I went to work and he was alone with them for 4 or 5 hours before bed time Again she took treats from him and was very well behaved. At bed time he went downstairs to lock the doors, came back upstairs to the front room and she was barking furiously at him and snarling. Anya leapt on her and put her in check. They then quite happily went off to bed.
How best should he react in this sort of situation. The DAP collars will be here in the next couple of days which I'm hoping will make a difference but not sure what would be the best way to deal with this.
He has 5 days off together coming up so I've suggested he use the time and try to be the main care giver. When we first got Anya she only come to me. It took him being the one doing everything for her over a long weekend off before she was friends with him. Now she adores him. Hope I can say the same for Sasha.

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Get hubby to feed her, him being seen to be the one preparing and offering the bowl.

Give a half measure of a meal so that the bowl can be refilled when empty and fed again as seconds.

She may well have had a bad experience with a man in her previous home, or not been well socialised with men. You're right he should become the main care giver for a while. It's early days yet, she will come round in time. However I'd avoid him stroking her until she indicates that she wants him to stroke her, there's no benefit in giving her any attention she's not comfortable with, it will only delay her acceptance of him.

I agree 100% with Burrowzig

Sasha has to be the one to make the steps towards trusting your OH, forcing affection and time with her will only make her more sceptical and if she gets pushed too far too quick things could go wrong and it coul dbe in a bad way.

If your OH is calm, unthreatening and apart from feeding her pretty much ignores her she will begin to see him as not a threat anymore.

When I get a new foster who has nervous aggression or is under socialised I just sit calmly, don't even look at them and the dog will see me interacting with the other dogs without aggression or sudden movements and will eventually come to to see what it's all about. It can take anything from 20mins to 5 days before the dog chooses to come to me but THE DOG HAS TO MAKE THAT CHOICE.

I agree with the above. The best thing that your hubby can do is ignore her for the moment and let her suss him out in her own time. As hard as it is, she's clearly unsure of men (don't think it's your hubby in particular ), so trying to fuss her will only make her worse.

Make him the one who feeds her and let her see him interacting with Anya and playing with her. Curiosity will get the better of her eventually and she'll come round.

Don't nuture her behaviour or try to comfort her because you'll only re-inforce it and just a thought about the bedroom though and the growling, I wouldn't have either dog in there TBH whilst Sasha is reacting in this way, you don't want thinking that she can control this space or feeling that she's forced to protect it.

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Thats not a good way of thinking, people grossly mislead themselves with it, your thinking of how a human would perceive whatever behaviours your hubby displayed when she arrived, those total behaviours in her perception might well have been threatening or anything else. Most dog owners at some point have gone to stroke a strange dog and that dog has just backed off or generaly been unreceptive & maybe growled or snapped at the person who thought they were being kind, by human values, and in turn the dog would also 'think' ...."Oh what a kind person that is"....they live in a different world of different interpretations of their own.

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Operant symbols

+P = Positive Punishment
-P = Negative Punishment
+R Positive Reinforcer
-R Negative Reinforcer

Some very interesting comments and plenty to think about, thanks for the replies. Feeding was the way to go with Anya, it took her a good week or so to accept him, but Sasha is a nightmare at the best of times. She is a battle to feed and I still have to coax her every meal time. I'm now doing the whole tough love thing but I'm not happy. She has lost a little weight since we got her, but by the same token I can't be hand feeding her forever. Also, he flat out refuses to hand feed her something that makes him sick lol. I'll get some chicken, she likes that and he will cope.
We'll try sleeping in the kitchen (the dogs, not us lol) and see how that goes and tell hubby to back off. Never really thought of it from the dogs point of veiw, unwanted affection. Makes sense.
Just to clarify, I bought her from the breeder at 4 and a half months, we are her first and only home. All of the litter sold except Sasha and 1 little boy. When they reached 7 weeks they were put outside with Mum and never brought in the house or socialised in anyway. I realise now I should never have brought her home . Yet they had gone to all the trouble of having full vax and microchipped yet never put a collar and lead on and took them for little walks. Probably has a lot to do with how she bahaves now poor little thing.

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Gosh, poor little dog.

I completely agree with the previous "posters".

The only things that I can think to add to the previous suggestions are that walking and food are very important and that they're a very good place to start.

Is she confident with your other dog? Would she go out with you and follow your husband leading the other dog? I'm NOT suggesting a Caesar Milan, we're not doing pack leader! I'm just thinking that watching your husband walking with a clearly happy Other Dog would be a good message for her and including your husband will familiarise and normalise his participation in what is usually every dog's Best Treat.

Completely agree with defusing the bed thing.

Food may have to happen slowly. If husband prepares it and she will eat from his hand, excellent. If she is too timid he may have to drop it near her at first.

Husband needs to be careful of body language. Great info about calming signals in the stickys. Use them, they really work.

Good luck. I'm so glad she has found a home with you. She's young and she will improve. In the wrong hands she'd end up dangerous.

Good advice from previous posters - just wanted to say your girls are gorgeous, I love black and tan GSD's and will have one one day have you a couple more pics I could drool over please?

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Flynn - Kali - Britches - Bruce - T-Bo - Marty



"For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack"

Ozrex...We already do that with the dogs. Some of the walks are me with both dogs, some with hubby and Anya and me and Sasha and sometimes I take them both out seperatley. They are both still in training so I try and spend time 1 on 1 as well.
I did talk to the old man last night about how best to go about getting her used to him, have told him to back off with the stroking ect, just try and feeding her and joining us on more walks. Hopefully it will build from there.

Malmum.. thanks for the compliment. I think they are gorgeous, waited a long time for my lovely girlies. Not many pics yet every time I get the camera out she's right by my side lol. Hubby is off for 5 days this weekend and we have a few nice days out planned with the dogs, I'll take my camera with me.

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