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Dog Training and Behaviour Discuss dog training and behaviour problems in this section. Are you having problems with your dogs behaviour? Then submit your problems and get help from other members. Do you have some excellent dog training advice? then submit your details here to help others.

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Old 15-09-2011, 06:41 PM
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Done the wrong thing without realising?..

My ESS boy is almost 3 months now and he's awesome; to say he's my first pup I think I've been massively lucky so far with his behaviour - he settled in his crate from day 1, he's incredibly affectionate, follows his obedience well and has just generally been a joy to have, but I'm a little concerned that I've inadvertedly made our relationship a little too exclusive..

My OH works full time whereas I have been out of work since Jan this year; I was in a uniformed service role but due to some quite severe injuries sustained whilst on duty, I left and therefore we had the ability and luxury of being able to take on a dog because at least one of us will always be home with him for the foreseeable future. The problem of course, if there is one, is that 90% of the time the person who is home with him tends to be me, and even when my OH isn't at work, then it tends to be me that plays with him, cuddles on the sofa with him and just generally occupies his active/play time. Don't get me wrong, Jenson clearly loves my OH to bits because he already knows the sound of my OH's car pulling in to the drive and he goes bonkers, when the OH actually comes in Jenson pretty much turns into a wriggling ball of happy goo so I don't doubt for a second that he has a bond with both of us.

It's just that whenever I get up, Jenson will follow, he'll sit in the bathroom while I shower and so on and so forth. On walks if my OH has the lead and I stray behind to do something, Jenson will constantly be looking back and trying to wait for me. My OH is thinking of starting to take Jenson in to work with him on a few days throughout the week to give him a chance to bond more with him cause I think he feels a bit left out, and I feel guilty that without realising, I've secluded the OH from the doggy love triangle

He doesn't get distressed or cry if he can't follow me, but he just clearly prefers to be close by to me.

Sorry for the long post, just wondering what you guys would advise?
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Old 15-09-2011, 07:03 PM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

I think you are putting too much human emotion onto him..

Me and my OH have the same thing - Louie is with me all the time. OH is in the army, I take Louie training, feed him and walk him. He's excited when he sees my OH and will follow him but as he has a stronger bond with me he follows me around more.

My parent's neighbour and I have the same thing - her dog is more excited to see me, listens to me better and will recall to me even if her owners are shouting her too. Because I walk her and train her. She is unofficially part mine now

There is no love triangle and I think your OH should have the chance to bond with him as you have.
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Old 15-09-2011, 07:47 PM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

Similar situation here too; hubby and I are both in the Army (only for one more day in my case!!) and have never been posted together - Kilo has come to work with me every day from 14 weeks old and I do all the care as hubby is home around every 5-6 weeks or so in the main.

When I leave him with hubby he has a tiny whinge apparently then settles down to just being Kilo!! If we are both together he follows me about more, but that is to be expected and he still loves his cuddles and play with hubby...I wouldn't worry about your pup unless he starts to exhibit signs of true anxiety when separated from you. I must admit that I don't give Kilo access to me all the time - not in the bathroom whilst I shower and he isn't allowed upstairs but not sure whether that makes any difference!
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Old 15-09-2011, 07:54 PM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

My dog Drym is definitely my dog, he doesn't mind being left with anyone, even being left at the kennels doesn't phase him. However if I am around it is me he follows everywhere, if the children and I walk in different directions there would be no competition for his attention, they wouldn't get a look in, but if it is just Drym and the kids then he follows them everywhere x
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Old 15-09-2011, 09:32 PM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starfish View Post
My ESS boy is almost 3 months now and he's awesome; to say he's my first pup I think I've been massively lucky so far with his behaviour - he settled in his crate from day 1, he's incredibly affectionate, follows his obedience well and has just generally been a joy to have, but I'm a little concerned that I've inadvertedly made our relationship a little too exclusive..

My OH works full time whereas I have been out of work since Jan this year; I was in a uniformed service role but due to some quite severe injuries sustained whilst on duty, I left and therefore we had the ability and luxury of being able to take on a dog because at least one of us will always be home with him for the foreseeable future. The problem of course, if there is one, is that 90% of the time the person who is home with him tends to be me, and even when my OH isn't at work, then it tends to be me that plays with him, cuddles on the sofa with him and just generally occupies his active/play time. Don't get me wrong, Jenson clearly loves my OH to bits because he already knows the sound of my OH's car pulling in to the drive and he goes bonkers, when the OH actually comes in Jenson pretty much turns into a wriggling ball of happy goo so I don't doubt for a second that he has a bond with both of us.

It's just that whenever I get up, Jenson will follow, he'll sit in the bathroom while I shower and so on and so forth. On walks if my OH has the lead and I stray behind to do something, Jenson will constantly be looking back and trying to wait for me. My OH is thinking of starting to take Jenson in to work with him on a few days throughout the week to give him a chance to bond more with him cause I think he feels a bit left out, and I feel guilty that without realising, I've secluded the OH from the doggy love triangle

He doesn't get distressed or cry if he can't follow me, but he just clearly prefers to be close by to me.

Sorry for the long post, just wondering what you guys would advise?
It wouldn't be a bad idea if your boyfriend took the dog out for walks and stuff without you. I am saying this because there is only me and my son and he doesn't have a lot to do with the dogs, only likes to give them a kiss occasionally and makes sure they have fresh water when I am out.

My Ferdie's nickname is Clingfilm. He will not leave me, he shoves me up into the corner of the sofa, he is always nudging me, trying to get his head under my arm, and he will not budge out the door with anyone else. I went away overnight once and left my grandaughter here for the night; Ferdie would not eat until I came back. He is fine during the day when he is used to me being out, but in the evening if I am not there he used to pace and whine. He is not so bad with that since I had Joshua, but he is always there, under my feet. I even had to climb over him with a sheet of sticky wallpaper as he parked himself at the bottom of the ladder and refused to move away from his mum.

You dog is only a puppy yet, so is naturally going to cling to the one who feeds him and does most of his care, but I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to divide it up a bit, or you might find yourself unable to go anywhere without upsetting the dog!
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Old 15-09-2011, 09:37 PM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

My toodles is like that, comes to the toilet with me and everything, but as others have said I train and walk him so have closer bond, keep trying to get oh to take him out more and be consistent with his training but he can't be bothered half the time. Definitely think if they have more bonding time the will get closer
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Old 16-09-2011, 03:27 AM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

When we had our pups they would be with my wife until I returned home ~6pm and would bring something home to give to my wife then the dogs. I wanted the dogs to see that I was the source of "stuff", also wife got kiss and "stuff" first then the dogs. (Stuff was often from the supermarket and smelt nice.)

I would spend time playing, grooming or just sit with them in the evening when wife went out.

When we had one of my sister in laws house sit for us I had her replace us doing the grooming, walk & play for a few days before we went away.
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Old 16-09-2011, 05:06 AM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

Im at home with my three the most and I walk them so I suppose they are used to me being the main carer but OH has a box of dog treats in the van and every evening when he comes home he gives them a treat each.

They will cuddle up to him and go out with him if he goes but they are more used to me.

Its very flattering to be the most important person in a dogs life but it can tie you down when you need to leave them for whatever reason..
We have made that mistake, ours cannot go into kennels they become stressed and sick so get your pup used to being with other people.
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Old 16-09-2011, 06:52 AM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

Dogs learn via association. So, if a dog spends all its time with a certain person, that person is going to be the most interesting, i.e. they get fed by you, affection from you, treats from you, training with you, walked by you etc.

This might sound horribly empty of emotion, but it shouldn't be. There are some good reasons out there that dogs are capable of more complex emotions, like 'love'.

However, in your situation, many attribute too many emotions to them and see their dog as consciously picking you over someone else in the family. I think it's just that the dog has been conditioned into giving you eye-contact and staying around near you, as good things usually happen. It then becomes a habitual behaviour.
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Old 16-09-2011, 08:54 AM
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Re: Done the wrong thing without realising?..

Thanks guys some good pointers there.

As someone mentioned I'd rather start avoiding an issue of SA while I'm still able, as I definately don't want him being stressed out if/when he is required to go into kennels or stay with another family member.

Ta x
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