Hi we have had a puppy boxer bitch for 3 1/2 months now and I like to think i know quite a bit about training a dog. Everything is going well and she is a wonderful edition to our family however, she has really taken well with lead obedience and training etc with me however she doesn't do the same with the wife, I'v observed them and the wife replicates what I do but the dog does misbehave more with her than with me.

When i come home from work the wife tells me the puppy has been naughty especially in not responding to her requests to go outside or leave a room, regularly the puppy will run round the table and avoid my wife in defiance and/or naughtiness/playful games. Recently, the puppy was being naughty on her lead during a walk and when the wife had enough, she shouted at the dog, jolted her lead a little and tried to get her to sit, the puppy began to growl at the wife which worried her a little.

The puppy regularly goes to the in laws house with the wife and kids during the day and socialises with a lovely Tibetan Terrier, the terrier is a good dog but not that obedient but calm enough. The dogs get on lovely however my puppy is always jumping over the Tibetan who plays along with it, the terrier is a bitch too and I think my puppy's behaviour towards the wife is related to my puppy's contact and behaviour with the in laws terrier who is older than the puppy, does the puppy not see the wife where she should in a pack context or is the wife not strong enough with the puppy. I've told the wife to not take the puppy to the in laws anywhere near as much as she has been doing. The pupy is lovely and loves the kids and we do the basics together such as never let the puppy in the house first or allow her into a room that isn't calm, she is never allowed near anyone eating nor is she fed from the hand etc

We are also still having trouble house training her and we have tried the puppy pad near the door and we have caught her many times and placed her on the pad but she seldom wees or poos on the pad, it has been extra difficult with the back door needing to be open a lot over the Summer due to kids playing outside etc. The dog happily goes out and 'messes' in the garden when the door is open, can anyone advise from here?

I know an obvious answer could be boredom but my puppy is always being walked (sometimes 2 longish walks per day) she has begun ripping up a new lawn I have recently laid too.


Any advice would be gratefully received

Firstly I have to say I am sorry, but from your description it would appear that you don't know quite as much about training a dog as you seem to think. Everything your pup is doing is completely normal but you are misinterpreting her behaviour and attaching human motivations and outdated, incorrect theories to it. You should really try to get a more up to date understanding of how dogs think rather than relying on what you see on TV. I recommend you try reading something like The Culture Clash, by Jean Donaldson, or anything by Karen Pryor.

I have not selected anything in your poll because I don't believe any of them apply, your dog is not confused about your wife's place in the pack because even if pack theory was true and hadn't been proved to be a load of rubbish decades ago, the fact remains that she is a human and your dog is a dog. Even though they are not the brightest stars in the animal universe dogs are still aware of this fact and they do not believe for a second that they are human or that humans are dogs, so the only confusion there must be your own. Socialising her with other dogs helps her to understand how other dogs behave and again, she knows that this bears no resemblance to how humans behave. Socialisation with as many other dogs as often as possible is essential if you want to avoid problems in the future, if she learns how to be around other dogs now then she will be less likely to be fearful or reactive to them when she gets older.

I suspect that she is 'naughty' because the training you are doing with her is not working, which has nothing to do with her being defiant or wilful, it is because she does not understand what you are trying to teach her. Growling at your wife for example, seems to me a perfectly reasonable reaction to a sudden jerk on the lead, especially if she does not understand what the jerk means or why she got it, all she knows is that someone just gave her a jolt and it wasn't very nice. This is what is known as positive punishment, ie the dogs actions caused something bad to happen, but positive punishment can only work as long as the dog understands perfectly what behaviour caused the punishment so that they can learn to avoid it happening again. If you have to use a positive punishment more than twice then the dog does not understand the message you are sending.

Do some research into positive reinforcement training and dog behaviour and I am sure you will soon see where you are going wrong.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people look bright until you hear them speak

this bit confused me a little you would rather she 'went' on a pad in the house than outside??

when she does her business where you want her to, are you giving plenty of praise, play, treat etc? they soon learn that when they do it somewhere they arent supposed to they either get told no, interrupted and taken outside, or nothing (because you didnt catch them in the act) but if they do it outside themselves they get fussed, something tasty and a play

Kiva is only 10 weeks and will pretty much wee on command ha ha
when i knew she would be due to need a wee i would take her outside and as soon as she finished i would say 'wee wee's' in a very silly happy voice and give her a treat. now i can take her outside, say 'wee wee's' and she knows exactly what she needs to do to get a treat, fuss, or play

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Leave your wife alone with the dog, for a week or more, ignore the dog completely and let only your wife deal with the puppy, it will soon grow to get along with your wife.

I do think you both should go to some puppy lessons. Learn what you should be doing, for example "two longish walks a day" Have you done any research into how much exercise a puppy should be doing? 5 minutes per month of the puppies age, per day. that's 15 minutes a day for your 3 month old. are you over exercising her?

Ripping up lawn is what your puppy will do, you can say no, but they chew and dig everything. its something you have to learn to live with, or learn to control properly. Saying no, a gentle tap to her nose when she does it.

Why do you not feed the puppy from your hand? How do you give it treats? Give her treats from your hand, it wont harm you or the puppy. Interaction with other dogs will not harm your dog, it will make your life easier at puppy classes and in life whenever you take her to the park. She needs the interaction.

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What are you feeding your dog.... please don't say bakers.... like children Diet can effect behviour...


Not sure why you want you puppy to deficate in the house? I never trained either of mine with puppy pads... they were taught day one its outside please!


Let her socialise with other dogs it will make your like so much easier....

Positive reinforcement in action!

This is the difference, it is very subtle but it is the most fundamental element of dog training. It is so much easier and so much more effective to teach the dog what you want them to do as opposed to trying to teach them what you don't want them to do. Dogs are slaves to causality and are masters of associating predictors with consequences, both good and bad. They are not interested in manipulating people to their own evil ends or even bothered about who goes through the door first, they just want more good stuff and less bad stuff. Behaviours that elicit good stuff get repeated to the point where you can attach a cue to them and then get them on demand, exactly as Kiva has done, while behaviours that have no effect or reaction do not get repeated to the extent that they actually disappear.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people look bright until you hear them speak

Training is something that needs to involve ALL members of the family ALL the time, the dog learns to pay attention to Mum, Dad and children, wherever, whenever. Not just Mum in the house, Dad in the park etc.

Dogs do dig and they do chew, but you don't have to learn to live with it, you just have to teach them what they can chew and where they can dig. Chewing and digging are self rewarding behaviours, so if you encourage them to chew only certain things, then they will learn to chew those things rather than anything else. And I am sorry, but a gentle tap on the nose is no different to a 3 month old puppy than me punching you in the face.

Totally agree.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people look bright until you hear them speak

My point was that if the puppy behaves for the man of the house, some time between the wife and puppy alone so that they are forced to get along may help both of them become more settled with each other

I know everyone needs to be involved with training, that's why I said they *all* should go to puppy lessons, my idea was simply to let the wife and puppy get to know each other in the house out the house all day

Maybe we have different ideas to a tap on the nose with my toddler, if he doesnt listen to me (hes 2.5) I touch his nose and say "no", the touch is just to make them stop and pay attention to you. its not a hit. Just a touch

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urgh, I give up I did say "I do think you both should go to some puppy lessons" what i meant was the husband and wife, with the puppy So they ALL know where they stand and i admit tap the nose probably did sound like more than what I meant to ... HAHA I'm awful at this stuff, I should read what i write before I press post so that I say what i mean!

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