hi, i have never posted before but am at the end of my tether and am looking for any help i can get. i have a nearly 7yr old lab x. he is my 1st "fur baby" and has been such a great companion and friend and dearly loved. i had a baby 17months ago and did all the processes needed to help adjust my animals to the impending new arrival and they were all great. however the last 3weeks hes had a complete personality transplant!! barking at me 24/7 (starting to drive me v.v.vmad!!!) but its not the usual kind of bark for food/play etc its like hes barking right through me, quite confrontational. and is now urinating up the hall/kitchen walls. the nail in the coffin was the other day when for the billionth time telling him to stop barking he turned and cocked his leg at me!!!!!!! never even as a puppy did i have such challenging behaviour. i have had a vet check and apart form the possibility of sumthing going on in his head to cause such a change theres no apparent reasons. i dont no that if the baby wasn't a threat but this lil person running around is now being seen as 1. as he grumbles and bares teeth if my lil man goes near him so am now back to seperating with the baby gate which just makes the cycle of barking even worse.
i love my dog so very much and agree a dog is for life and used to get soo angry about people giving up on them even b 4 a child has come along without giving them a chance. i'm just starting to feel that my house is not the house he needs and a more stable, adult, older child house with lots of play time would be more suited. it will break my heart but its at the point where i'm finding reasons to stay out of the house so i dont have to have the constant barking and naughty behaviour. may be its worth mentioning when my husband is home this doesn't happen as he is top dog which is what has made me think it could be hes becoming dominent over my child. sooooooooooooooooooooooo confused and so many questions. thank you if you got this far wth my rambling i'm just spilling with everything out right now. any suggestiosn would be so welcome.
thank you

Oh that sounds awful, Im not an expert but i couldn't just read and run... sending you lots of virtual hugs. One thing is for sure, you cannot continue the way things are, you will end up a complete mess.

When did your toddler start walking? I wonder if now that he/she is, the dogs views the toddler as a threat to his place in the family and so is trying to control and show dominance. But if the dog does not view you above itself in the family's hierarchy you wont get the problem fixed. I wonder if it is possible to keep your toddler with friends / family for a few days and keep your OH out of the house at least until very late so that you can be by yourself with the dog and see how that goes, it would give you an idea if the problem is with you or the toddler. If the dog is iffy with you alone, then you can try and fix that, perhaps leashing the dog to you so that is HAS to be with you constantly and learns you are in charge, once the dog is comfortable with you being in charge he should accept your toddler better.

Its the only idea I have but I'm sure a lot of people will be able to give you better ones

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Has your dog been neutered.

My dalmatain used to try to wee and poop on me and he was trying to show me who is boss. I was going to stud him but changed my mind because i really didnt want to deal with him challenging me the way he was.

We got him snipped and problem was solved.

Just because there was no problems before, doesn't mean your dog didn't feel uncomfortable. It could be that it has taken this long to push his frustration and stress levels far enough to cause a reaction. His reaction towards the child indicates he is uncomfortable and stressed by the situation.

It is silly to advise over the internet about a case where child safety is at risk, so please look for help with a qualified behaviourist, like from the APBC or COAPE organisations. Rehoming could be difficult due to the problems, however, his breed makes it more likely he would. I would definitely put the effort and money into helping him become more comfortable.

The problem is not about dominance or pecking orders. The idea that we live in a hierarchy with our pet dogs is farcical at best, as is the idea the domestic dogs form hierarchies between themselves. These views come from incredibly old views that have since been disproven numerous times, by the same people that proposed them in the first place! Your OH is not the 'top dog', and you shouldn't worry about how your dog sees you in terms of a hierarchy or rank system.

Many dogs find infants stressful because they are often very novel experiences. Implying that this is down to family hierarchy issues is incredibly abstract and, quite frankly, unhelpful, as it can impose confrontation between owners and dogs, which is exactly what you do not want to do.

Like i said Im not an expert I don't even own a dog yet! but if the dog is uncomfortable with her (to me i think is likely since dog doesn't behave the same when OH is around) working on that would be necessary anyway. I have grown up being told that hierarchy is important to all animals and whilst i understand a lot of it is total rubbish, all pets need to have a set *place* in the family. whether you call this a hierarchy or not is entirely up to you but I think it makes a much better adjusted pet in the long run.

Professional help I absolutely without a doubt agree with

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Agree with Rottiefan, get some professional help. It doesn't have to be expensive, sometimes just a couple of sesssions can be so invaluable & give you some brilliant advice to work on.

Has your dog always had attantion, has he ever known how to 'settle' whilst you get on & do other things or has always had your attention when he wanted it? It may just be that he needs to get used to not being able to demand things.

Also has he got his own space, a crate or a bed away from the child so he can chill out on his own?

What do you currrently do when he barks?

thank you to the above responses i am really appreciative of the quick responses. he is neutered and has been since a young age. i dont think the problem is me per say, i think ?? when lil man goes to bed the baby gates come down and they come into the lounge for evening cuddles which is what they are used to he returns to his normal self but then again hubby is around at this point. the point about him being stressed from the start and just being pushed to the limits now i think is very valid as although as nutty as they come he is also very sensitive and has always tended to avoid my boy as a baby which i assumed meant he wasn't bothered but maybe it was more of a not happy, gunna steer clear move.
thank you again for offering your own thoughts.

i wouldn't say he always had attention as before baby i worked more so he spent periods at home, or came to work, and has always been good about staying at home and "settling". however before baby he could come up to me at any point in the home as i generally wouldn't be doing anythign i'd need to move him away from, but obviously this type of interaction had to be scaled down when holding, feeding new baby. i have no put the baby gate on the lounge so the lil man is caged up and dog has the run of down stairs, not quite how i wanted it but i hoped if he didn't feel penned in, he originlly had the kitched/dinner to himself, it might help the situation. so far it hasn't.
for the barking telling him to be quiet, is like talking in the wind. i tried a noise corrector and am sure he just laughed at me (obviously not literaly) when i used it. i have thought about a cirtonella collar but then thought even if i halt the barking which would be a massive bonus am i being risky with the baby as haven't solved the route cause??

I really wouldn't use any sort of correctors but especially not a citronella collar. It could be that your dog would then associate you or your baby with this deterrant & could make him become more nervous of even aggressive. The citrus spray also remains on their fur for a long time which is very unpleasant for the dog.

I do think, as mentioned it would be benficial to have someone assess the problem but you do also need to start working on his barking at you. How are you doing so at the moment? Rather than use a punisher have you tried removing him for the area to another room until he stops?

Does he have enough stimulation in the day? Are you able to have short trainin/play sessions with him? If he is separated from your baby then are you able to give him a stuffed kong or something similar to keep him occupied (obviously not if your son is nearby or able to reach the treat - that would things worse!!!)

your above advice is v. helpful in terms of correctors, thank you. at the moment unfortunatley i am giving in as if i take my boy up stairs and play out of dogs way he shuts up after 10mins or so which is miles better than if stay downstairs. i know i shouldn't be making it easier for him but it means i dont have any pleasurable time with my baby if we stay downstairs training sessions and kongs i haven't thought about, hes lab x collie and v. smart and does like clicker training etc and we do have a kong somewhere. i will deff try this as the lab side of him makes him a food lover so stuffed kongs etc he would love. i am looking into behaviourists at the moment