I have lived with cats for 31 years and been fortunate enough to always have well balanced personalities and very few dominance or bad behaviour issues. I'm getting increasingly concerned however about my female 5 year old Tippy. I got Tippy, along with her male companion Tiger from the blue cross when they were both 8 weeks old. Tiger came from a crowded household of animals, and i assume this is where he gets his very amiable personality from. he grew up with his litter and only came to be in the shelter as his owner was banned from keeping animals due to overcrowding. Tippy on the other hand was abandoned and lost her mother (the shelter guessed) far too young. As a consequence she is tough, street smart and independent. i believe she also has some socialization issues (does not understand or respect normal cat boundaries). When i got them we battled for a long time with insecurity issues over food, with both kittens desperately clawing their way up any human next to the feed cupboard etc. however they settled down into lovely cats and barring a few anger issues toward tiger, which he has good naturedly taken in his stride, tippy has been relatively easy to manage.

I also have a 13 year old female called Shantih, who again i've had from 8 weeks. She is the most easy going sweet natured cat i have ever known, and if cats and humans could truly be best friends, that is us! Lol. i am aware this sounds as though i show favouritism, but i have always routinely played with, groomed, and spent time with each cat seperately and as a group since i got them.

For 5 years now we have been in an arrangement where shantih sleeps under the covers with me, tiger plonks himself in the middle of the bed, and tippy either at the end of the bed or in the cat bed in the bathroom. They eat together in the kitchen twice a day and have 24/7 access to kibble and water. they share a litter tray and have a cat flap with daytime access to outdoors.

Exactly one year ago we moved to a one bedroom apartment. The food, tray, sleeping, and arrand catflap arrangements are all the same although obviously they are living in closer proximity which i'm sure is a contributing factor to the current issue that is occuring.

For the last 3-4 months tippy has been initiating fights with tiger either by aggresively pouncing on him or by nuzzling her head under his chin then grabbing him and wrestling to the floor. for a minute this will be relatively normal playfight then it will turn nasty with tiger agressively defending himself and tippy retreating.

Now tippy is also bullying Shantih. she will pounce on or chase her as she crosses the living room or uses the scratch post. This has now also progressed to lying in shantih's favourite spot (in the wardrobe), and pouncing on the part of the bed she knows shantih is sleeping with me. Shantih is fully able to defend gerself, and when pushed to her limit she will do so. When this happens tippy immediately backs down unlike with tiger. The problem is shantih is non confrontational and much prefers an easy life. i can tell that this agressive behaviour stresses her out. She simply wants to be left to sleep in the wardrobe most of the day, go out for 10 mins, have her grub, use the tray, have a mad playful 30 mins, then back to bed. The older she gets, the more nervy and neurotic she becomes if this routine is messed with.

I am thinking that tippy is having jealousy and insecurity issues. She sees tiger as a good place to vent those feelings and shantih as a handy scapegoat who mostly does not fight back. i'm unsure if perhaps she is also trying to assert some dominancy. if so i cannot see it working as both tiger and shantih are more dominant although neither is particulary inclined toward "bossy' behaviour.

Tiger and shantih seem to interact normally, respecting each others boundaries, for the most part ignoring each other, and on the odd occasion one of their rare playfights turns sour, tiger respects the look, the stance, the twitch of a tail and he backs off. neither cat is fazed and they go on as normal.

Tippy however is a real conundrum. She has always seemed entirely lacking in this normal inter cat respect, but now she is actively pushing boundaries. i do apologize for this essay of a post, but this is one cat issue where i feel i am out of my depth and am concerned for Shantih's sensitive nerves as she ages, and also for tiger, who cannot enjoy being the constant target of redirected aggression.

When tippy loves she does so unreservedly (as with every other behaviour!), drooling, kneading, often losing all sense of where she is. She gives me looks of pure adoration. And sometimes wakes in her sleep with a desperate meeew and immediately runs to me for comfort. i wish i could show her she has nothing to worry about, that she is loved unreservedky back and that the other cats are no threat. Interestly she does not vie for my attention, often acting disinterested if i try to pet her on my lap or groom her. instead she will watch me, and nuzzle clothes i have worn or places i have sat.

I would love some input on this strange behaviour i'm seeing and how i can deal with the bullying, soothe the insecurity, and take the pressure off tiger and shantih.

Thank you, and once again sorry for the long post! I've never needed to post on a cat forum before because quite honestly i've never had a problem i felt was too big for me to handle. i feel like a bad owner at this point

no expert - but a new flat would be drawing the territory. Have you tried feliway or pet remedy? both help with stress issues.

Im not an expert but it sounds as though Tippy is not jealous but scared. Scared to come to close to you incase the other two spot her and start a fight with her. Tippy starting fights is because she is trying to bully the others into submission but ultimely knowing she won't stand a chance if the others attack back. Tippy feels lost within the group and you need to show her that she belongs and spend some bonding time with her, show her she has as much love as the others and even go as far as not letting the others interfere in your time with her, thats if your comfortable with that. As i said im no expert but thats my feelings. Hope it helps.

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I'd certainly look at feliway or pet rescue plugins - new house needs relationships re-establishing. Also maybe a vet trip to rule out any health problems that are triggering her behaviour.

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Thank you all I have never actually tried feliway but heard it mentioned many times so i will give it a shot. We're not actually new to this flat, we have lived here over 12 months now and the problems really began 3 months ago. I have been watching Tippy closely since i posted this thread and have noticed that she does in fact deliberately block the way to the litter tray, especially to shantih. When Tiger uses it she stands close by and antagonises him by sniffing at his back end.

Unfortunately Tiger seems to have developed cystitis. He has been back and forth to the tray numerous times today, stoops looking frustrated, and comes away without doing anything. If it continues he will have to go to the vets tomorrow.

I'm almost at my wits end. I adore my babies and hate for any of them to be unhappy