Hi

Two weeks ago we got a 8 week old male tabby kitten called Dexter, my boyfriend already has a 7 yr old female neutered cat called Smudge. We bought Dex home without her seeing him and made the bathroom his safe room and he seemed to settle in and Smudge was aware there was something going on.

Once we had settled in we began scent swapping, Dexter didnt seem bothered my smudges sent, but she would hiss violently when she smelt him on anything, she hates moving fabric so rubbing her with a towel was impossible we had to try and do it with our hands and bedding, she nearly took my hand off at one attempt.

We were concerned that she might think it was a grown cat, so one evening when she had loads of attention and was happy and calm we showed them to each other for opposite ends of the room, there was much hissing, and we seperated them and tried again later with dexter on the floor, Smudge seemed intrigued, but dexter puffed up hissed alot and this clearly aggitated him, he cowered in the corner and soiled, and smudge went to pounce on him. We seperated them and tried again the next evening same thing happened.

After the initial attack Dexter stopped going to sleep on his own and yowled all night long we barely slept for 5 days, Smudge was refusing to come in the house accept to get food and then going straight out again, and Dexter was clearly stressed he was vomiting up his food, hiding, and diarrohea and using the bath as a litter tray. On the next night we couldnt take anymore of them being distressed and I took him to my parents house in the middle of the night.

The minute he got there he was like a totally different kitten, playful calm and no eating or toilet problems and smudge has gone back to her normal self. My parents are in love with him and have offered to keep him, which I would be happy with as I get to see him lots.

But ideally I would liek to restored harmony to the house and see if we can try again with the introductions - any advice would be appreciated, we have however so far tried literally every bit of advice on the internet about the subject. Including having Dexter in a kitten pen, but he went ballistic in it and I was afraid he would hurt himself.

A side note to this is that due to the layout of the house, the only room with a door on it is the bathroom.

Thanks