Hi

We have adopted a 1 yr old cat from an all female household the cat is reasonably sociable with my wife but is terribly scared with me, often hiding and hissing at me. I work from home, so I am there all day. At times the cat seems relatively happy to sit on the sofa, at others she bolts to her hiding spots.

I understand this is natural behaviour we have only had her for about a 2 weeks. I imagine the problem is increased as she is unused to males and i'm there most of the time.

However she found a new hiding spot behind the tv unit amongst the wires etc. We have had a little problem with her urinating (is this down to nerves?) so I really wasnt happy to leave her where she could cause real damage. We tried to coax her out with treats but finally we had to man handle the unit to access her and the cat ran for her normal behind the sofa hiding spot. I have since blocked the behind the tv spot so she shouldn't be able to reach it again.

Since we did this she absolutely hates me. If I walk within 10 feet of her she hisses and runs, literally shaking with fear. I feel a little helpless with her.

Is there anything I can do to build bridges again or should I just give her time.

I'm not sure she will ever forgive me and being a cat person whereas my wife isnt I feel shes my responsibilty



any advice is greatly appreciated

have you tried feliway? its good for nervous cats.

Hello,

This sounds very familiar to the issues we are having with our male kitten Hunter (8 months old) and my boyfriend, who co-incidentally also works from home.

Hunter is petrified of Mark unless I am sat on the sofa too. His ears go flat and he ducks if Mark even so much as bends down to stroke him.

However, he has definitely got better over the last few weeks. A lot of progress has been made from him being able to sit with Mark and I together, so he feels safe. We also got some tablets called Zylkene from the vets that we used for a time when both Hunter and Hermione had a bit of a stage of being scared of Mark.

A lot of it is patience. Also, Mark is the real 'cat' person rather than myself. However, I think maybe the desperation of wanting the kittens/cat to like you can be picked up as stress which then makes them more scared of you. I keep telling Mark to just chill out and leave them to come to him, and in turn, they usually do.


I'm sure your cat will come round soon enough once they think that you aren't really that bothered.