Hi everyone, ive put this in training and behaviour hope its the right spot if not feel free to move it
It would be brilliant if anyone has any advice how best to help our new family members on their way to becoming affectionate loving cuddly cats does any one have and tips tricks up their sleave? its my greatest wish for them to be really laid back about being handled and petted, i was reading on another thread about the affection that some of your cats lavish on you and its sounds lovely! was it something that you did do you think when they where kittens is it all about what you put in as nuture? or are cats already predisposed due to their temperament? i can already tell after a couple of days of our bundles of fur being home that the littlest (Doko) is going to be far more loving towards me than his brother (Diesel) id really like it if they felt equally and loving towards me!

I think it's both nurture and nature combined. You nurture their natural traits to bring out the best of them

When my girl had her litter of kittens last year I helped her nurture their nature. As a result all 4 girls are little love bugs. I spent 24/7 with them for their first 11 or 12 weeks (and I mean I literally didn't leave them for that long, even baths were taken with them in the next room and the door open ). It has paid off grandly

I think with older cats and kittens you will have to find a way to nurture their nature, but every cat will be different in personality. Be gentle and kind to them, speak softly and I'm sure they will pay you back with love and affection.

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I'm not that experienced with cats so I don't know if I'm just lucky or if it's the way I interact with my two, but I have a close relationship with mine who are both adult rescues (unrelated and adopted six months apart).

They are indoor cats but have a small cat run - so I don't know if being indoors makes them closer to you and neutered males in general are meant to be more cuddly and females more active - so I've read.

I talk to them a lot and respond and acknowledge them when they 'speak' to me which makes them 'speak' more - maybe this brings them closer to you?

I also let them do their own thing and mostly play with them and give them cuddles when they come to me looking for fun and attention (and stop when they've had enough) - although I will go up to them when they're chilling somewhere and say hello and maybe give them a very quick gentle stroke. So I think giving them the distance that they need also means that when they do come to you they are in the right mood for interaction.

Rosie is very kitten-like for her age and likes to play more that sit on your lap but she is getting more soppy now (a year on) so things may change over time, but they seem very relaxed and will flop down in front of you and roll over and stretch out and follow you around. In the morning they will try to wake me up by licking me, gentley poking me, purring etc - perhaps keeping their lives as stress-free as possible helps too.

I agree that nurturing their natural behaviour may have a lot to do with it but I would imagine that personality, history and even health issues may affect things - regardless of what you do.

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I have one kitten that loves being cuddled and will meow at me til i pick him up and i have another one that will cuddle and want attention on his terms only but lately hes started meowing to gain my attention as he wants a cuddle.

With my two ever since i got them at four months old ive handled them and cuddled them and played with them alot. xx

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Mummy to Dexter and Ollie <3

thanks everyone for your replys
i definatly try and interact with them as much as possible i am at home all with them and the kids and at night i bring the kittens into the front room for a couple of hours so they can play and run round normally i let them wear themselves out then sit them on my lap and stroke them till they doze off
i talk to them alot and one of mine is a meower but its normally when you pick him up, he doesnt like it for some reason.
im a bit worried about picking him up incase he gets agitated, do you think i should avoid picking him up or do it more frequently to help him get over this dislike?
i dont want to get into a situation where i dont feel comfortable picking him up incase he reacts
i feel like he doesnt trust me (and im a little wary of those claws at times and being new to owning cats im still trying to learn their body language and understand how they feel so its a bit confusing
any help would be appreciated thanks

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Our older cat Mitzi hates being picked up!!!! Well she is 13 now but she has always hated being picked up. I don't know why as she was handled loads as a kitten. I've had her since i was 13 and was always very gentle with her. Maybe i picked her up too much and she got sick of me
The vet told me that this was typical with Tortoise shells though as apparently torties are quite feisty. She is very affectionate and will sit on your lap etc but just won't let you pick her up.

My kitten Coco who is 5 months old now loves us all. She snuggles up with my 19 month old daughter during her afternoon naps They're the best of friends. She doesn't really like anybody picking her up except for me which makes me feel loved lol

I always thought that no matter what you do cats just develop their own characteristics and likes and dislikes with age but i don't know. I'm sure your kittens will be super friendly though...They usually always are with their family ... But most of all to the person that feeds them!

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Make sure you're covered in cat food 24/7. That'll do it

A slightly more practical piece of advice, to echo others, is to give your cats lots of affection, interaction and play time. Whatever you do, don't try to force them to sit on your lap, etc. - cats are contrary creatures most of the time, and will often do the opposite of what anyone tries to force them to do - playing with bits of string etc. will help them to get more comfortable with being close to you, and if you make sure not to grab at them to pick them up, you will gradually build their trust in you. It sounds as though these are early days, so you need to let them come to you, and this might easily take quite a few weeks.

Another thing to bear in mind is that cats are highly sensitive to smells, so if you wear perfume or smoke, etc., they might not be keen to get to near to you (speaking as a guilty smoker who always makes a big effort to be as odour free as I can around my boys!).