Hi, I'm new! I hope one of you have some advice on this:

Whenever my parter leaves our flat and I'm still around, our 5-year-old neutered indoor cat Tommy starts acting strange. He first gets really clingy and follows me very closely from room to room, with needy meowing. I ask him what he wants, maybe give him a pat and then give up and just go about my business. Then he starts chasing my feet. I say "no," because I don't want him to do that. He'll then yowl at me, looking miserable... then he attacks aggressively.

When he starts chasing or yowling, I try to do something to make him happy. I originally tried patting him but he attacks my hand violently when I pat him at that time. So I thought maybe he wants to play, but he becomes completely disinterested in the toy and attacks my hand instead! It seems like he's attacking out of malice, but I don't know what I've done. After aggressive attacks like this I want him to know he's done something really wrong.. so I generally shout "bad kitty" or hiss and stare him down. He yowls a bit more, but eventually gets sheepish. Then he follows me around and is sometimes extra-sweet as if he's trying to make up for the incident before.

He only ever gets like this after my partner leaves. We did an experiment where my partner stepped out the door for a few minutes. Tomasello started doing his angry cat routine, until my partner came back and Tommy got all docile again. Tommy doesn't do it to my partner ever. He has chased my partner's legs twice and bites when petted too much, but that's about it.

We've only had him for about 5 weeks and I've been abroad for two weeks so he's probably a bit more familiar with my partner than me. Before I left he was treating me and my partner equally, and didn't behave like this when my parter left the flat. So I think it may have something to do with me having been away, but I've been home for 10 days now (though I was away for two nights inbetween)... and it's only gotten worse.

Otherwise he's a really lovely cat, so I don't know what's wrong. Why is he doing this? How can I get him to like me again?

Have you tried getting his toy out straight away when he starts following you? It sounds to me like he is attention seeking, and when you simply pat him then walk off he provokes you to get more attention, much like a child.

Also, it's worth you feeding him and giving him treats rather than your OH, as he will then become more attached to you as the one providing yummy stuff

__________________
Mummy to;

Sooty 9.6.1996 - 28.04.2011 Rest in peace my love!
Storm (Sueragdandy Phantom) 28.02.2010
Benji (Kassaro Benjamin Franklyn) 08.03.2011