I've read the main behaviourial post by Luisa, & I know that Its Redirected Aggression
- But the "how to solve" is not working!
In short- I got another kitten 2 days ago. All was going well, but on the 2nd morning my partner "accidentally" let the kitten escape from the isolation room. Luckily, my resident cat was in her cat basket (locked up cage that goes to vets)- as we was swopping some things around from last nights rush of getting the kitten .
My resident cat obviously went mental, growled, clawed out at kitten.
We had to come to decision last night to give kitten back to owner as my resident cat is an indoor cat, & extremely territorial.
However, since she has seen the kitten, my resident cat has totally chnged. She was always a "mummys girl", i.e loved me more than my boyfriend, loved cuddles- a lapcat softie. In the year we have had her, she has hissed once- at another cat.
Now all she does is yelp very , very high pitched - very distressing as though being strangled- growls when she just hears my voice or I say her name- she hisses at me continuously i.e 10 -20 times in a row- no exageration.
Its had me in constant tears & its just me she hates, can't go near her - never mind the fact my voice triggers growls & hisses. She has additionally been in a hiding place ever since & won't come out If I am in the house.

All items have been washed, put spray on myself to take any last kitten smell away- tried her with treats, toys- I just get agression & she was honestly the most daftest & loving cat ever, to see her like this is having me in tears as I write
The daftest thing Is ,it was my partner who was messing with the kitten when we first got him, so I shouldn't still smell.
I am desperate for any other ideas , last resort if she hasn't improved in a week, cat pyschologist. I'm just used to several cuddles a day, now even If I call her Im greeted with growls & hisses.

Please help!!!!

Um why did you give the kitten back so quickly? You know that reaction was normal right?

In fact all of what you have typed is NORMAL! It takes some cats a few weeks to settle down and accept their new friend ... I'm quite upset that you would do that

2 days? ... 2 DAYS! Seriously I think you've acted way to quickly. Wish you'd come and asked before giving the kitten back.

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Because my resident cat is an INDOOR cat & we live in a flat currently so she is extremely territorial, she has never been outside only hissed at a cat through a window, never mind having another cat on her home territory, so please don't state that you are angry & judge me of my decision, I DO KNOW its normal that she was upset at the kitten & takes aa few weeks to adjust, but I know my own cat & that she wasnt going to adjust/just not going to take to the kitten.
Your response has made me quite upset , that was quite rude, I am not some child who doesnt have a clue, Im an adult who wants my old cats behaviour back.

Additional: I only just found the site today, Or I would have come here & asked...
I was looking for friendly help/ advice, not a "telling off" where I went wrong
when its now too late.. the kitten has gone, my cat is agressive.. I can't turn back time, But I was hoping to come here for advice where to go from now??
That was all.

I didn't realise you had only joined today, so I apologise for that.

BUT! If you know your own cat why did you want to get a kitten in the first place?

Regardless of what you say, 2 days is just not long at all, and ... well the poor kitten did nothing to deserve not even being given a proper chance.

EDIT: To add ... you only gave the kitten back last night right? So it will take time for your cat to re adjust. But it might be worth taking her to the vet as well, because until you have you can't rule out it being something medical that's making her aggressive. Hope that helps.

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Hey MissyDee, welcome to PF I'm afraid I have to agree with Aurelia here, getting rid of the kitten after 2 days is pretty hasty. With my cats, all indoor cats, my first boy really made me pay for bringing in a second cat. He used to be a lap cat - my lap, but the second cat I brought home overtook me (after they'd gone through the rituals of showing who is boss) and she is now the love of his life. At first, it wasn't plain sailing, nor was it when I brought kitten number three home. You have to exercise a lot of time and patience, and 48 hours is nowhere near enough time to allow things to settle down. In fact, each time I had a new kitten, I had two weeks off work so that I could be with them 24/7. Oh, and when I had the first two kittens, Pet Forum wasn't even in my radar, I done the intro thing all by myself (with help from my other half). So, it can be done.

I'm not sure what the answer is here though, because, let's say you go back and bring the kitten home again? And then give up again when things don't go according to plan? It isn't fair to either your resident cat or the new kitten. It's your call, only you know how much time you can devote to introducing a new kitten. Rest assured though, it's never likely to be completely stress free - for you, your cat and the new kitten.

ps - if you choose to just keep your resident cat as a sole cat, then she will settle down in time. Just spend time with her, if she won't allow you near her to give her fuss, talk to her gently. She will come round eventually.

living in a flat has nothing to do with anything, neither does the fact that your cat is INDOOR cat

did you come here looking for opinions or just for people to agree with you and tell you you have to done the right thing? It's a free world, just as you're entitled to your opinion, others are entitled to theirs.

you'll not like this, but I'll say it it anyway "poppycock!". I have had hundreds of foster cats come in and out through my home over the years and many different resident cats, all cats are capable of accepting other cats, the deciding factor is us humans. But I guess YOU DO KNOW this already.

well if you're not a child you're certainly acting like one. You make impuslive decisions, and then chuck your dummy out of the pram when someone points that out to you. Hardly rational, calm & adult behaviour, now is it?

well you're really going about getting good advice the wrong way. You're not exactly being friendly yourself. Remember, people on here are not paid to give you advice. A modicum of civility on your part wouldn't go amiss.

Quote:
originally posted by TJEmissy_dee


living in a flat has nothing to do with anything, neither does the fact that your cat is INDOOR cat-
my reply: I beg to differ. To introduce a kitten to a new home, you must have a neutral isolcation room. I live in a flat, its either kitchen where my cat eats, the bedroom where she sleeps,. or living room where she comes for cuddles. I have no neutral isolation room, I live in a relatively small space, therefore my cats territory is smaller. The fact shes indoor does pose a difference to me. She has never met another cat in person before, & I have done my reading up- most people introducing a kitten , their resident cat sulks off outside & can get breathing space outside. My cat is privvy & limited too a few rooms.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje:-

did you come here looking for opinions or just for people to agree with you and tell you you have to done the right thing? It's a free world, just as you're entitled to your opinion, others are entitled to theirs.

No, I didnt come here looking for someone to tell me I had done something wrong, as though I can turn back the clock> I came here for advice from the future not for people to have a go at something that cannot be unchanged. everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I came here for future advice on the situation, not for a slap in the face when I am already upset.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje:
you'll not like this, but I'll say it it anyway "poppycock!". I have had hundreds of foster cats come in and out through my home over the years and many different resident cats, all cats are capable of accepting other cats, the deciding factor is us humans. But I guess YOU DO KNOW this already.

Another remark at me.. Your "poppycock" remark has not offended me, I was expecting that kind of remark from how you have knitpicked me at every opportunity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje:
well if you're not a child you're certainly acting like one. You make impuslive decisions, and then chuck your dummy out of the pram when someone points that out to you. Hardly rational, calm & adult behaviour, now is it?

I was waiting for some smart alec to say that XD What a surprise it should come from you. Shock , shock horror horror.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje
well you're really going about getting good advice the wrong way. You're not exactly being friendly yourself. Remember, people on here are not paid to give you advice. A modicum of civility on your part wouldn't go amiss.

All I can say is , dont look a gifthorse in the mouth. Look at your own words, matey. You have come on here & knitpicked at every way, & then preach me to be civil & say I am not being friendly.. but what you have just done , that is??
Youre more than a rude person, that is obviously sat there smug waiting for me to type away so you can come back with more smug one liners , that you are hoping more people will reply to you " Good for you, thats told her".

What is people getting paid/not anything to do with it??? Youre saying as the site is free people are allowed to criticise me where I went wrong, without leaving any HELP as stated in the thread & section.. & people like you can knitpick & insult me, whilst attempting to come across as some voice of reason You hope is going to favour you to other people..

I will go back & rename this thread " Come here to insult an emotionally upset newcomer" or "criticise but dont offer any help"

Youre right, people dont get paid & are open to opinions, so we can type away & insult as we want, & as its across the net nobody can see how upset I am , Just smart alecs like you judge me & reply with a thread like that..

DO me a favour & DON't reply, If you read earlier I am emotionally upset , I cant turn back time, If you want a b*tching war of knitpicking quotes, Find another forum /thread

Ermmmm OK.

You have had help BTW, can you see it?

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Fellow forum members....it really is neither necessary or helpful to respond to genuine posters with such aggression or negativity.
No, we are not paid to give advice but if we choose to, can we not make it constructive rather than critical?
The OP is obviously confused and upset, and probably does not have the wealth of experience which you both have...but they have come on here to ask to share in that wisdom, not to get shot down.
If less informed pet owners cannot come on here and ask safely for helpful advice then this forum will continue to dwindle into an inactive 'pals only' chat room.
Original poster....your cat seems to be showing an extreme, but not unique reaction to the new kitten which you had brought into the enclosed space of your home. She is pushing your buttons...try not to react in a negative manner, try to engage her in play, tempt her with her favourite treats and she will come round in time.

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Nellie Paddy Mitzy Milo Peggy Murphy

Millie and Monty, the White Devils!