Hi folks, this is my first proper post on here and I'm looking for some advice/reassurance!

The background is... I have a 7 year old Bengal boy called Bailey, a real sweetie, spoiled rotten, as they all are!! 3 and a half weeks ago I picked up my new baby... a 12 week old Ragdoll boy who we have named Mylo (he's now almost 16 weeks). He is the most lovable kitten ever, he is just wonderful!!

So anyway I wanted to find out what you all thought about when I should intervene when they are “playing”!! I kept Mylo totally isolated from Bailey for the first week then they met through the carrier (Bailey didn’t speak to me for a whole week, grumpy boy, and infact still wont really let me pick him up or cuddle him... and he used to love his cuddles! ), then we put up a baby gate so they could see each other and once the hissing/growling stopped I removed the gate and now we're into week 4 and I’m letting them spend time with each other about 2/3 times a day for about 15mins to half an hour at a time with each other.

There is never any hissing or growling whatsoever between the two of them now, but Bailey basically chases Mylo around, stalks him, pounces on him and it all looks so rough!! Bailey sort of pins Mylo down and bites him (hard in my opinion! Fur sometimes flies!), normally on the neck or tummy area and kicks at him with his back legs (as they do!) and then he runs away, then Mylo plucks up the courage and chases Bailey and then Bailey pins Mylo down again and bites him, lets him go, stalks him.... and it goes on and on like this for the whole time they’re together (unless there is food involved!). I tend to end the "meeting" with food or when they are distracted.

I think Bailey is being a bully and telling him who’s boss, and Mylo is definitely timid of Bailey, but maybe wrongly I’ve been trying to distract them mid “fight” as I’m petrified in case Bailey hurts Mylo! So I just wanted your advice on what you think I should do.

1. Should I just let them get on with it and not intervene?
2. Is this completely normal and will it settle down over time?
3. Will Bailey ever stop huffing with me?

Over the past week I’ve noticed Mylo getting more and more confident and he’s started to stick up for himself, but he doesn’t get a minute’s peace to investigate and play with his toys without a big cat stalking and leaping at him! It's hard to tell the difference between playing and fighting and my fear is that I'm mistaking playing for fighting, and vice versa! I dont get the feeling that Bailey is being aggressive, he is being very dominant though in my opinion!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks!!
Louise

I think he could be playing but also showing his dominance towards the kitten.
Last October i introduced a 2.5 year old + 16 year old to a 14 week old kitten.
The 2.5 year old plays with her all the while but sometimes he gets rough, then i stop him.
What you could do is to play with both of them together. I.E. with some string or one of the dangle things on a rod. Making insure the older one doesn't get jelous. That way he might not get the huff with you for too long.
We always take the old one to bed with us so she doesn't get too jelous and it works. Also it's great for us on these freezing nights
I would give them treats together.
It is early days and i am sure they will be fine.
I only use to intervene if i heard a squeak from kitten, then i new the playing had got a bit rough. How ever she always went back for more
My 2.5 year old sometimes looks lie he's nibbling the back of her neck but all my cats have done this. It is a pecking order thing and as long as there are know squeaks and it doesnt go on for too long i let them sort it out.

I am sure there will be more people on here that will be able to give you more advice.

__________________

It is best to let them sort it out amongst themselves to establish the hierachy. It is rare that a fight like that would result in serious injuries. Cats like knowing who's boss and the subordinate cat doesn't mind being subordinate. Once they have sorted one another out, the fighting will decrease and peace will reign.

well you have 2 cats at the OPP end of the scale, as bengal do overwhlem cast who are more laidback, all my bengals dominated abd some bullied the ragdolls yes i had to spilt them up and couldnt leave them alone together unless i supervised. id supervise visits as he is still very small and watch out for your boy, his alot older and this is 'his house' bengals are the best of time time like newbies, esp older bengals.

ragdolls are a breed that is by nature norta fighter, so i would personally stop them 'playing' he doesnt like to much like playing, more that his the bengals new play thing, your bengal hopefully will forgive you soon, give them both alot of attention and treats etc, feed them seperate. good luck!!

__________________

It's always hard to tell when they're just playing or fighting sometimes, especially when you're all protective like me and get worried!

We have 2 cats, and Casper is a 2 year old male and Kitten is a 7 month old or so kitten (I know, we're real original with the name on that one!)... the 2 of them fight quite a bit, and it's always hard to tell when it's just playing and when it's real. Casper screams a lot during their fighting because Kitten is usually pinning him down and biting at him... It's pretty unnerving when he starts screaming at the top of his lungs like that! I tend to separate them when they get like that, or shout "HEY!!!" to make them stop, because I don't want anyone getting hurt.

__________________

I came on the forum today to search for exactly this problem. My two cats do this too and I now only tend to separate them when the youngest starts to cry out in pain. I'd like some advice too so thanks for posting the question!

As they are taking it in turns, I suggest it's play. On YouTube there are videos of cats playing and of cats fighting. The difference in posture and the noises they make is obvious. My hubby worried that ours were fighting until I showed him the videos, now he leaves them to it.

with my cat i can tell the difference to play fighting to real fighting but he is such a mummys boy and a softy anyone could. have a look for signs that he is being more gentle then he would in a normal fight even a tiny bit! my cats play fight all the time and the eldest is soo much more gentle then the kitten,she has given him a few scratch marks but i think she is learning i wasnt sure at first if she was actualy fighting but as that was the first couple of days of having her and he he hasnt had any marks since im guessing it was just a woops i didnt know how sharp those was! its really very sweet watching her follow his about learning what to do <3. but back to my point sorry...before i moved out here he used to play with my cousins make cat and fur would fly all over the place! but no hissing or growling ect and niether got hurt at all so i really wouldnt worry about it yet untill they start hissing ect or getting injuries or becoming scared around one another? i do wonder does your eldest cat use a litter tray? does he keep his poo uncovered all of a sudden? that would be a clear sign he is trying to show who is boss! but even so cats will have little fights to show who is boss untill its been made clear. to make my cat more accepting of the newbie i do things like give him his food before she gets hers,give him the strokes first,brush first ect....

My 3 all have their moments, my youngest is a right whinge and cries all the time, when she's hungry, when she wants you to think she's being bullied (then soon as your backs turned she slaps one of the others round the chops).

Sometimes the playing sounds like one is being murdered but they can always get away, I gave up separating them cause soon as I did, the one who was being bullied started chasing the apparent bully

I say let them sort it out within reason, keep an eye on them but try to let them get on with it

__________________
Proud mum to Tiffany, Bellinda and Jessica

gotta love cats aint ya the cheeky little blighters there will be small (maybe very tiny) tell tale signs that they are playing just keep an eye and see how it goes