Hello all,
I have so many questions about kitten care, most of which I have been able to find excellent answers to here, but I am still very stressed out about what to do about constant crying during the night, and also quite a lot of distressed sounding yelps/meows during the day/evening.

She has been pretty terrified since we got home, although she was fine at the breeder's house: allowed me to hold her and touch her paws etc. So far she has spent 90% of the 2 days she has been home sat in her wicker carrier/bed (there is a pillow and old shirt in there so she seems comfortable).

As far as I can tell she spent saturday evening (when we first got her home), night and sunday morning mostly in her carrier staring at the side. She cried for a bit every 15mins or so during the night, but I didn't know if I should completely ignore her because she is obviously scared. I know that you are meant to ignore kitten/cat crying in the night as a general rule, but she has barely had any interaction with either of us yet so I don't know if that applies in this situation...?

I read to her during the afternoon and evening and stroked her a bit as well while she was in there, which she tolerated but wasn't particularly responsive. During the evening and all night she cried again every 5-15minutes and we were getting really worried that someone in the apartment building would hear and complain to the landlord (we are allowed a cat but noise after 11pm is the issue really).

I couldn't take it any more and didn't know if we were definately doing the right thing ignoring her so I went down and lay on the floor/sat next to her carrier from about 3 until 7 in the morning. She still cried even though I was right there, so I stroked her and talked to her while she was in the basket, which only stopped her crying for a few minutes at a time.

I'm not sure if it was a significant breakthrough, but eventually she decided to come out and climb around on me for about 5 minutes, and purred a fair amount when I stroked her. I also put her next to the water and got her to drink (a lot!) with a little bit on my finger first. When she got back in the carrier of her own accord though she continued to cry every so often, and I stroked her because I didn't know if this was the right thing to do really.

I haven't seen her come out for food from her bowl (which I think she can see through the wicker, room is a bit of an awkward shape to have everything visible to her but not close together; however, this morning I was able to feed her a few little handfuls from my fingers but unable to get her to come out of the carrier to eat, even by putting the bowl in the carrier or moving my hand/the bowl further away. I don't know if this is a bad habit or not really, because I can only feed her this way when I am home in the morning and evening.

Since she is only eating dry at the moment, should I just keep topping up the bowl to full at morning and evening? I have been weighing it to see how much has gone in between but not sure if this is the right approach.

I have tried putting in a hot water bottle wrapped in a blanket but she doesn't seem interested at all. Also with hot tap water it doesn't real seem to stay warm for long, but from what I have read it shouldn't be boiling. Perhaps one of those microwaveable pads would help?

I don't have a small ticking clock to put in, but I did put a big wall clock in the room in the hope that it would help, not sure if it is really the same thing though.

I really really don't want to instil bad habits such as rewarding crying in the night with affection but I am a bit unclear about how harsh to be when she is clearly terrified. I think she would be too scared to sleep in the bed since she hasn't wandered around the house yet, so I am severely tempted to just sleep in the hallway with her if she keeps crying, at least until she seems to be a bit more confident to venture out from the carrier.


I am also scared about having to take her for an initial visit to the vets, since this might set her back to square one again. Should I wait until she is a bit more settled for this inevitably stressful visit?


Sorry to ask so many questions, but hopefully this will help the numerous terrified new kitten owners on here...


Ok just a few quick-fire ones:


Should I switch the light in her room off at night?

I have a little radio (radio 4) in there during the day and evening, should I keep this on at night too?


She is currently eating whiskers dry, but I would like to get her eating Applaws kitten food as soon as I can: should I do a gradual switch or does this only apply to wet food?

She is a british shorthair (father) crossed with a Bombay (mother): does anyone have any experience of this crossbreed's temperament, or what she is likely to look like as an adult cat? The second part is just to satisfy my own curiosity as I couldnt find much information about this specific crossbreed.

A few things come to mind re. the crying etc. - how old is the kitten, do you know? In a perfect world she should have remained with her mother up to 12 or 13 weeks. 10 is OK-ish, but if she's younger than that there might be separation issues, both from her mother and her litter mates. I realise this doesn't solve the problem, but it might help to rationalise things.

Have you tried playing with her? Most kittens need no prompting whatsoever to play with bits of string, balls, toy mice, etc. - if you haven't been doing so, I would recommend that you start! And I know it might be a bit late in the day for this, but are there any kittens left from her litter that are still looking for a home? All kittens experience a degree of stress when they move to a new house (from negligible to severe), and a companion litter-mate will always help to alleviate this. I have always brought kittens home in pairs, and always will do in future, for this and many other good reasons.

As regards leaving on lights and a radio, only you can be the judge really; you need to observe her behaviour and work out for yourself whether she's happier in the dark or not, and with silence or some background noise. My thoughts are that they are unlikely to be significant factors.

Finally, although I have no personal experience with it, a Feliway diffuser is often highly recommended on here; it simulates scents and pheremones that help to reduce stress in cats. Also, I wouldn't hold back on taking her to the vet; it might be stressful for the poor kitten, but you would want to rule out a condition or illness that could be causing her current behaviour.

Good luck,I hope things calm down soon!

Hi, thanks for the help...

She is 9 weeks old according to the breeder. I was hoping to find a kitten that was a few weeks older, but they seemed a little scarce in my area. Also I couldnt really resist her!

I have tried playing with her a few times, but she seems a little scared of the feathers on a stick and thick pieces of string. I will try more over the coming days though... perhaps with some smaller things?

I shall experiment with the lighting and noise levels to see, it is a bit difficult to tell at the moment which she prefers.

I shall seek out a diffuser as soon as possible, I am willing to give absolutely anything a try and with fireworks night coming up I am sure someone will want it from me if it doesn't help...

I shall also ring a vet and get her booked in... hopefully it won't set things back too much.

Hi, sorry I can't be much help but just a couple of things....

Pesronally I feel that leaving lights or radios on overnight is a bad idea - leaving an animal in perpetual light isn't good for their circadian rhythms (day night cycle) and could make her worse. As the days are getting shorter now I would have the light on during the evening, but off when you go to bed.

All food changes should be gradual. For now I would keep her on the whiskas until she is fully settled in, maybe give it a couple of weeks. Then start introducing the Applaws, mixing it with the whiskas. Start with a little applaws to mostly whiskas and gradually change the ratio.

Porthos was a bit like this (crying wise anyway), i spent a few nights in the spare room with him curled up next to me and that seemed to settle him down alot, also ment i got more room in the bed lol (shhhh don't tell the mrs lol). and now he's fine.

don't forget the ickle thing is in totaly new suroundings, new smells, sights and sounds. also mum and brothers and sisters have gone.

you could try the old hand food coxing routeen, workd very well with our old, and extreamly timmed cat, charlie, got him used to my smell ect.

As long as she's eating, drinking and going to the loo ok then personaly i'd just give it some time, spend time with her.

is she in her own room at the min with a shut door? somewhere she can get used to as a safe area untill she settles down?

I have to disagree here; cats can do just fine - and in fact I believe better, in most cases - with a varied diet The only catch here is that the switch would be from a low-quality food to a higher-quality food, so that should be done relatively slowly. But there's no reason to leave her on the whiskas any longer than necessary. You can make the switch over a couple weeks, starting immediately; go to 25% Applaws for the first 4-5 days, 50% for the next 4-5 days, 75% for the next 4-5 days, then 100% and you're done. I'd recommend getting a second high-qualiity food, too, so you can start varying the diet sooner rather than later. Once she's on straight Applaws for 4-5 days, you can start alternating between Applaws and another food (100% Applaws one day, 50% Applaws the next, 0% Applaws, 50% Applaws, etc). Our cats alternate through about 4 different kibbles right now.

Wet food should be able to be changed daily with no adverse effects - again assuming foods of similar quality.

I don't think that's a great idea - the "topping up", I mean. You don't want kibble to be sitting out for days; it can go bad or stale, or can start growing bacteria that will make kitty sick. If she's not finishing what you put out over 2 days, toss what remains in her bowl and reduce the amount you're putting out for her. If there's only a bit left after a day, it's best to toss it and replace with fresh food (rather than continuously topping up and leaving old food to sit); wash the bowl thoroughly at least once a week (daily is even better, especially for a young kitten).

Yes, it isnt ideal but we have the hallway shut off, and her carrier/bed in the quietest corner.

Hmm yes, I suppose since the kibble tends to always look the same I didnt really think about it going stale, but now that i have a bit more of an idea of how much she eats I shall start just putting that out.

I shall attempt to switch food and litter gradually in a few days since I am still a little aprehensive about upsetting the balance. Hopefully I will be able to introduce some wet food soon too...

When I am changing the water and rinsing the food bowl is it ok to use a tiny bit of detergent? Or is boiling water a possible option? I don't want to make it taste bad.

The kitten (still no name...), is doing a lot better now: I think she may be crying a little bit in the night still but I may have just slept through it; however, I did have to come down in the early hours to rescue her from the top of the ceiling cat tree. No idea how long she was up there. Since we are both at work in the day time I am a little concerned about her going up again in the morning and getting stuck, but should I just leave it in the room and let her figure it out?

I have bought some feliway spray today because she is going to the vet tommorrow and I have a feeling it will stress her out. Since her bed is the carrying basket there won't be much trouble getting her in it after I have sprayed it, so hopefully it will help. I was thinking of spraying the basket around bonfire night too since it is currently where she retreats to and seems to feel safest.

Yep, using a bit of detergent is usually fine - just be sure to rinse it out well. What type of bowl do you have? Ceramic or stainless steel are better than plastic, which can hold/release odours and bacteria over time.

Hm, that's a tricky one. With an adult cat, they should be able to figure it out, but a kitten can get seriously injured if it falls Any way to shorten the cat tree temporarily so it's more kitten-sized? Or maybe provide some sort of ramp or stairway up to the top, so she can get down easily? If not, I'd actually suggest you get a smaller tree and keep the large one hidden away until she's big enough to handle it

Ibicca - the reason I suggested keeping her on the current food for now is because this kitten is already under a huge amount of stress - far more than most kittens in new homes by the sounds of it. A complete chage of diet on top of high stress is highly likely to cause a dodgy tummy. I certainly wouldn't keep her on crap food any longer than necessary - but nor would I start changing it until she has at least stopped with the crying and started to settle.

I also never said there was anything wrong with a varied diet - my boys get various flavours of at least 5 different brands.
But as you said yourself - the biggest issue here is that the difference between whiskas dry and applaws dry is vast - switching straight from one to the other would be similar to giving a lifelong veggie a mixed grill! Hence introducing it gradually.
Once the kitten is happily eating a high meat, grain free food I wouldn't be too concerned about giving a variety of similar foods.

your kitten sounds very similar to Pixie when we brought her and Poppy home.

Pixie sat in the very back of the carrier, all crouched down just staring and occasionally crying. If you tried to stroke her she would back herself into the very corner. She would also cry at night.

The first night we let her do it, its understandably scary for them to be removed from their mum and litter mates, shoved in a box, in a car, and then arrive at a new house that smells strange and isnt the home they've been used to.

the second day, we had no progress and i was at my wits end thinking she was unhappy and that we might have to take her back as she wasnt having anything to do with us. Poppy on the other hand was out of the box and playing and getting attention fairly quickly.

so, the second day, i sat in the kitchen, in view of the carrier, playing with Poppy, so Pixie could see i wasnt scary and wouldnt hurt her. This still didnt work. i put the water and dry food bowls right by the carrier, and she edged out enough to have a very quick drink and a nibble, then went back in.
Eventually, i decided that i would sit by the carrier, and occassionally put my hand in and stroke her briefly, then leave her for 5-10mins, and do it again. after about the 7th time she realised it was ok, and wandered out, used the litter tray, had a quick play, then went back into the box. Again i stroked her a few times, and she eventually came out for longer each time. That night she started crying at 3am waking us up, so i went down to the kitchen, sleepily sat on the floor, and she came and curled up on my lap! i could have cried, i was so tired, but so glad she was finally accepting us.

Anyway, i would try the above, gentle reassurance then back off and leave kitty be for a few minutes.

with the food, find out what the breeder was feeding, and stick to that for a little while, as it'll be what kitty is used to, and more likely to accept.

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Dogs have owners, Cats have servants

My Furbabies! (kittens!)
Pixie - 11/05/2010 - Grey & Beige Tabby (with Bengal type spotty markings) - From Hissy monster to lap kitten
Poppy - 09/06/2010 - Black with chocolate stripes - Just pure Crazy Kitty