I wonder if anyone could please give me some advice about my two cats?
I got my female Tiggy nearly two years ago now, she was with a bloke who was an alcoholic, and he hadn't been feeding her, and from her behaviour I believe he was abusive towards her.

It took her a fair while to get used to me, but with me now I couldn't get a more loving cat, she loves nothing more than being stroked for hours, she hates being picked up, and still will not let me groom her although I have no doubt she trusts me as she will roll on her back for chin tickles. She isn't a lap cat though, occasionally she will sit on my knee, but not often, but she would let me stroke her all day if I had the time. She has been a house cat since I got her and has never been bothered about going out, she isn't all that playful - she is a princess really, she will only eat the most expensive cat meat, and even then will turn her nose up at it, she does love her biscuits though. She is still very wary of other people, even after two years she will spit at my Mum if she goes near her when she is visiting, the only person (luckily), she has taken to really fast is my boyfriend lol!

Recently a young male cat started hanging around outside, miawing outside my door. Now I have no idea if Tiggy has been nuetered, and the vets have said the only way to be sure would be to put her to sleep, shave her and check for a scar, and I really don't want to put her through that with her being so nervous. I wasn't sure if this little boy was hanging around for her, or just because he was homeless. I fed him a couple of times, and he wolfed the food down, but then I stopped as I thought if I carried on feeding him he would stick around. Despite me stopping feeding him weeks ago, about 3 weeks back now I opened my front door to someone, and this little boy just walked in and helped himself to Tiggy's food! I rang the cats protection league, and they were full, the RSPCA were no help at all, I could either have a booklet on what to do with a stray, or they would have him put down - and she's saying this when he's climbed on my knee, and is cuddling me, with his head tucked under my chin - adorable - no way I could let him be put to sleep! So I got back in touch with the cats protection league as they offered to pay for him to be nuetered if I kept him, so he was done about 4 days after I got him. I kept them apart until after he had been done, with not knowing if Tiggy had been nuetered.

Now my problem is that Piper (the black and white guy in the photo - named after the pied piper of hamlet - as when he was calling by, when I went out to feed him one night he had hold of a rat lol!), is upsetting Tiggy. The vet thinks that Piper is about a year old, and he doesn't look fully grown - he's still very kittenish - although rather a big boy already, and he is very playful. Tiggy however is not, now I am not sure wether Piper is trying to play with Tiggy, dominate her, or trying to mate with her (even though he cant!), he keeps chasing her around, and backs her into a corner, and she gets very defensive, her ears go down and she is hissing and growling at him, and we have had fur flying on more than one occasion. I have told Piper off for doing it, as Tiggy seems genuinley scared when he is doing it, but he doesn't take any notice, he will just go off and do it again. I have seen him once growling at her to get away from the biscuits because he wanted to eat them, despite there being another bowl not far from him, and I am having to pick her food up when she is done, as she only eats very little meat at a time, and he will leave his food to go eat hers, I have to stand and watch them so I can pick her bowl up when she is done. The only real rest Tiggy gets from him is when he goes out - I wish I could make him a house cat as I live near a main road, in an unpleasent area, and fear for him when he goes out, but if I don't let him out he starts jumping up, grabbing hold of the keys, and dangling on them lol!

When he is in Tiggy is very nervous all the time, if she comes downstairs she is looking for him constantly. Now as I say I don't know what Piper is trying to do, there are times I've seen him when it does look like he's trying to play, but then other times he is trying to grab hold of the back of Tiggy's neck. My Mum says let them work it out themselves, but she has already given him one really nasty scratch on his back, but this hasn't deterred him. They are often asleep on my bed together (which has always been Tiggy's favourtie place, and her retreat is hiding under my quilt - she still does this whenever my Mum or my landlady come round!), and she doesn't seem happy he is on the bed but seems to tolerate it, so they don't totally hate each other it would seem, I just need to know what Pipers intentions are, and wether there is anything I can do to try and ease the situation. At the moment I am seriously considering trying to find Piper another home, as I am upset seeing Tiggy distressed most of the time, I would prefer not to do this as he is such a little sweetheart - a real Mummy's boy, he loves his cuddles, and whenever he's been out or asleep he comes straight up for a hug when he's back.
They are both incredibly loving with me, just not with each other! I am not totally sure of Tiggy's age, I think she was still a kitten when I got her, and I would hazard a guess that she is maybe 3 or 4 now.

Anyone with any advice would be doing me a massive favour, at the moment I think we are on cat wars part one million, and I would just love for them to get on. Piper has been here about 3 weeks now, and he can be a little tearaway - scaling the furniture with his teeth no less! I thought by now things would have settled and they would be either getting on or tolerating each other, instead when things get really bad I am having to put Piper out to give Tiggy some peace

Sorry about the length of this but I just wanted to give you as much detail as I could in order for people to give any advice, thank you

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Not prepared to struggle through this.

Thats should make it easier to read

Its quite simple really! Just get the boy done, keep them both in, problem solved

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Is he maybe trying to assert himself as the dominant one of the pair?

There are a couple of good threads on here about introducing cats, or cats that don't get on. It sounds like their introduction was rather sudden, do you think it might be worth taking it back to basics with a more gradual introduction?

Okay - would suggest a couple of plug-in Feliway diffusers around the house may help calm things down.

I would suggest, as previously mentioned, going back to basics and trying a slower introduction - swapping bedding etc and when you are going to let them together rub unperfumed baby talc into both their coats and brush it all out prior to them meeting - theory being they will smell the same which may help things.

If he has only just been neutered it is probably going to take a few months before his hormones settle down so he may try to "mate" your girl yet awhile.

Good luck and kept us posted.

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Kaz

For kittens, joy is for the asking and smiles are for the giving

my male was like tis wen we first got are female kitten it took them about 2 weeks to settle down and now there the best off friends we just let them get on with it and they sorted it out how long have you had the male ?

Hi Piper was already done just after I got him, almost 3 weeks ago, and he will not stay in, if he wants to go out and I try and keep him in he starts hanging off the door keys or door handle!

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I have had the male about 3 weeks now, coming up to 4

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