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  #1  
Old 20-02-2012, 03:10 PM
alexa83 alexa83 is offline
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please help me, im distressed!

hello i joined the forums today because im at a loss, im soo tired, and distressed with my new baby boy

im alexa im 28 year old who adores cats, i have a beautiful tabbi cat who is 7 months old she, is amazing, her temprament is loving and effectionate, vocal, and she loves me, she shows effection to me and my husband daily, i had her and decided to get her a mate her mate turned out to be a stunning siamese/british blue cross, he looks like a british blue with a siamese coat and eyes blue, he is the most beautiful cat i have ever seen but im so worried about him, when we went to see the breeder, she brought them in and only had 2 boys left from the litter, our one (Ollie) was running up and down the sofa, seemed to be having fun and the other one the breeder had hold of and seemed very chilled lol, relaxing and just looking at me hehe.

when i went to see them, i was like omg they are so cute and i knew when i seen ollie he was the boy for my girl but the lady was like oh no this ones better and such, seemed she tried to get me to leave ollie and choose the other one, but i had my heart set on him, so i got him home, settled him in one room, because i do this incase they are overwhelmed. and weeks passed, he was very reserved, jumping out of his skin when anyone walked past and he bolts alot, running for his life, now 3 months i after i got him, he's getting worse, he's not sociable at all, sits in dark corners or empty rooms, he hides under the bed and never comes out only for food, i read about the breeds temprament, he sits on the floor watching us, and never ever comes for attention, i have tried so hard the past few weeks to try and get him to losen up and enjoy us, all he does now is sleep, run away, hide and fart :O im very concerned for him, i dont want his quality of life to be like this, he doesnt come in much but when he does he sleeps, im so stressed with thinking i cant help him, is it me, why is he doing this to me, i give him everything i can, comfortable beds, affection, love and meals and i try to play with him but he isnt having any of it, today was my last straw, i got up and he was running round and hiding and crying, getting on the window sill to try and get out knocking vases off, he is really frightened, they are in door cats, they have our spare room with a massive activity centre in and everything they could dream of, they cost us a fortune lol, like having children, but im at a loss, after today he hid behind a door crying so loud, i have never heard him whale so loud, he even pooped himself. whats happening to my baby, i havent hurt him nor has my husband, im housebound so im here at all times,the house is pretty quiet, i just cant understand it. im stuck, i have tried everything, i think he hates me

please help me.

alexa

Thanks
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Old 20-02-2012, 03:24 PM
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lymorelynn lymorelynn is offline
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

Hi Alexa
I'm sorry to hear you're having such trouble with Ollie Firstly I would get him to see a vet in case there is any thing physically wrong. I wonder why the breeder wanted you to have the other kitten? Did she tell you that Ollie was nervous at all? Have you let her know that you are having problems with him?
Has he met your other kitten yet? If so how do they get on together? I would try a Feliway plug in to get some calming hormones into the air and see if that helps at all. Even the most nervous cats will usually settle in their own homes within a few weeks and I would be very concerned after three months.
Try the vet and Feliway first but you may need a pet behaviour therapist to help
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Old 20-02-2012, 03:39 PM
alexa83 alexa83 is offline
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lymorelynn View Post
Hi Alexa
I'm sorry to hear you're having such trouble with Ollie Firstly I would get him to see a vet in case there is any thing physically wrong. I wonder why the breeder wanted you to have the other kitten? Did she tell you that Ollie was nervous at all? Have you let her know that you are having problems with him?
Has he met your other kitten yet? If so how do they get on together? I would try a Feliway plug in to get some calming hormones into the air and see if that helps at all. Even the most nervous cats will usually settle in their own homes within a few weeks and I would be very concerned after three months.
Try the vet and Feliway first but you may need a pet behaviour therapist to help
hi there thanks for the promt reply i had them both in the vets about 2 weeks back, the vet seems to think that they are both in great health and shape. when i seen the breeder she said oh he is very playful and always movingaround about ollie, and me personally i love it when or tabbi (Izzie) runs round playing when they go on one hehe love it, i thought he suited her better, she said the other one is more laid back and relaxed and is just sat there in her hand looking at me lol, so i thought no, seens as i like playful cats i went with ollie, she never mentioned anything about it him being frightened or about anything that may of caused him to be stressed:/ and thats what concerned me 3 months and he is still super scared sorry yes he has met izzie our tabby and he loves her, her cuddles her and follows her around and they sleep together no problems there, its like he will be a loner for 5 days and then come and sit in the lounge for a bit, looks relaxed but jumps alot at the slightest thing. i will look into the plug in and see if that helps, also may think about booking him into the vet again. when i mentioned his behaviour last time to our vet she said oh its fine, british blues are quiet and will mainly just sleep but, theres got to be something wrong with him.

thanks again

*** just booked ollie in for the vets at 10:30 am tomorrow and they sell them plug ins so hopefully we can find whats causing it, any other information would be greatly appreaciated, Alexa

Last edited by alexa83; 20-02-2012 at 03:50 PM.. Reason: more info
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Old 20-02-2012, 03:53 PM
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

His behaviour isn't normal for any breed of cat Many are aloof and would rather spend time alone but it isn't normal for him to hide away and be so scared of everything. I do hope you can find the cause and that the Feliway helps too. Poor Ollie If I think of anything else I will post on here but hopefully someone else might be able to offer you some more advice.
Good luck at the vets tomorrow
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Old 20-02-2012, 03:59 PM
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

Hi Alexa, Welcome to the forum.

Just wondering, is Ollie only scared of you/your husband, or is he scared of your other cat too?

(Just saw you answered this...!)

How old was he when you brought him home? Does he respond to you at all?
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Last edited by Lumboo; 20-02-2012 at 04:00 PM.. Reason: Already answered the question
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Old 20-02-2012, 04:11 PM
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

hi he is scared of anything, when we got him he was 8 weeks old, i never noticed anything wrong with him at the time, he seemed fine, but after having him a week, i noticed him scratching his ear alot, turns out he had an ear mite infection, so we got that under control, i wouldnt say he was scared of me me cause sometimes he walks past me and sits there looking at me then stretches infront of me i pat him and he purrs right away, i basiaclly look after him and havent done anything to scare him. we take extra care to tip toe past him lol sometimes hes fine sometimes he bad but today he scared me it when he doent see you coming mainly he jumps out of his skin, i think he may be a little deaf cause he misses things ie me getting up but then when he feels me coming upto him to walk past he turns fast and runs when he notices me, the only way i can explain it is he cant hear properly. sometimes when i stroke him he jumps before i touch him must be when i my finger first touches him. oh i dont dont know :/

*** him and izzie get on really well, when there not sleeping they play alot, and she licks him clean , i wouldnt say he had a problem with our other cat seems only to be us :/ if hes asleep on the floor and i walk past a normal speed i can guarentee he will bolt but if i tip toe round him slowly and tut tut tut at him to reassure him he stays put. its like he is unsure about us but i have tried to be soo patient with him and be there for him but seems he doesnt want to know

Last edited by alexa83; 20-02-2012 at 04:16 PM.. Reason: .
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Old 20-02-2012, 04:15 PM
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

Sadly not the best of breeders Kittens should not leave their mothers until around 12/13 weeks of age and they should be vaccinated and vet checked too. To come to you already with earmites is not a good start in his little life
It did actually cross my mind that he might be deaf and I am now wondering if the earmite infestation might have caused some damage
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Old 20-02-2012, 04:23 PM
alexa83 alexa83 is offline
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

i was wondering that too, i hope not, we travelled over 100 miles to get him, my husband works away alot too, so it was hard to take him back, that wasnt the only thing, when i went to the breeder, i left my 400 pound samsung phone on the table i remember, but when i contacted her she said no it wasnt there, i was angry and lost all confidence in the breeder, maybe she had it and stole it maybe she didnt but i never wanted to deal with her, i sent a message because im a good person, saying i took the kitten to the vets today and found that he had an earmite infection, that she should get her other kittens checked and that was that, i never realised my phone was gone till i got home because my main concern was comforting the little one. so all in all he cost us about 800 pound :/ he is a treasure and will do anything to improve his quality of life
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Old 20-02-2012, 04:25 PM
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

Good detective work there Lynn - it is possible.
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Old 20-02-2012, 04:29 PM
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Re: please help me, im distressed!

I think you have some great advice from lymorelyn.
Does he get frightened by your voice or your OH voice?
Also have you tried to hand feed him with a few treats each evening. Cats seem to like dreamies and by holding the treats out to him each evening he might get to know you better.

just saw your other reply about the ears.
I think a trip to the vet and mention to them about his hearing.
Could there be more ear mites?

It is upsetting when they are acting strange. It's just trying to work out what could be wrong.
Is there anything in your house that lets of any strange noises such as a fish tank that could be frightening him?

I hope soon your little one will feel a lot better xx
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