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Old 06-05-2008, 05:00 AM
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Grief/Loss in cats

A month ago one of my cats was put to sleep. Little Vera, who was her daughter, was very upset, of course, she started getting more settled until this past weekend. On Thursday of last week the next door neighbours moved house taking their two cats with them. Since then she is often sitting on the garden table looking at next door's garden for the cats. She stays out for long periods whereas she was a home cat. She howls pitifully when she sees me or hubby.
Apart from lots of cuddles, what can I do. I even thought of getting another kitty but I don't feel ready myself.

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Old 06-05-2008, 08:01 AM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Please don't fret too much,your doing right but she's probably picking up on your grief/anxiety as much as anything-know it sounds a bit harsh but cats can be very fickle and she will soon adaptI am really sorry about the loss of Vera's mum
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:02 AM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Hi sorry for your loss,for your little ones sake i would seriously consider getting her a little friend,i think she sounds like she neds a companion of the furry kind
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Old 06-05-2008, 11:32 AM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Clare,

It's awful when this happens and the only thing that will help is time.

I've experienced this twice. The first time we kept two moggies from a litter and one of them got lost, his sister was totally devastated and it took quite a while for her to get over it, in fact until we got another kitten.

Recently Keira lost a baby and she is still carrying a pink toy about and howling occasionally despite the fact that it's been more than four weeks and she's had the other two babies to contend with.

It's sad but Little Vera will get better in time.

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Old 06-05-2008, 11:58 AM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

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Originally Posted by clare7577 View Post
Hi sorry for your loss,for your little ones sake i would seriously consider getting her a little friend,i think she sounds like she neds a companion of the furry kind
I agree, although you do need to make sure you are ready yourself too. Why not take a trip to see some kittens and see how you feel then? Or should I say see if you can still resist?
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Old 06-05-2008, 12:10 PM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

One of our cats was really upset when our dog died a few years ago. She needed a lot of reassurance from us and one of the other cats but after a couple of months seemed to have moved on.
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Old 06-05-2008, 05:29 PM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Aw thanks guys for the great advice and kind words. I knew you'd all be able to point me in the right way. i'd never had two cats before and the thought of one of them being upset and missing hte other is a great worry. It seems that, like us, cats can get on with their lives. And ajshep, I might end up with a dozen assorted kittens hehe.
Good evening all!
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Old 08-05-2008, 02:58 PM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbydoorknocker View Post
A month ago one of my cats was put to sleep. Little Vera, who was her daughter, was very upset, of course, she started getting more settled until this past weekend. On Thursday of last week the next door neighbours moved house taking their two cats with them. Since then she is often sitting on the garden table looking at next door's garden for the cats. She stays out for long periods whereas she was a home cat. She howls pitifully when she sees me or hubby.
Apart from lots of cuddles, what can I do. I even thought of getting another kitty but I don't feel ready myself.
Just been through something similar myself - our female siamese died suddenly and unexpectedly a few weeks ago, and her brother was inconsolable. They were litter mates - had never been separated and had done everything together for 11 years. He needed lots of loving and lots of hugs and nursing, but he was definitley helped by Harleyfudge, our maine coon. Up to then they had not taken much notice of each other, but Harlefyudge seemed to sense Ono's distress and started to curl up and sleep with him. He still misses his sister, but things are settling down. So I'd advise that as soon as you feel able to accept another cat, you get another. Hope it all works out
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Old 08-05-2008, 04:19 PM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Thank you spellweaver. Aw poor little Ono, but helped by Harleyfudge. So sad to lose a cat suddenly, isn't it? Jackie and Vera were together as rescue cats and were very 'touchy-feely' towards each other. I was coming home from work earlier and thought 'hmmm, I could accept another cat'....but felt a bit selfish....to Jackie's memory. But a rescue cat needs a family as soon as possible.
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Old 08-05-2008, 05:16 PM
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Re: Grief/Loss in cats

Don't let it feel selfish to Jackie's memory. Rather, think that you are honouring her memory - if she hadn't been such a friend, such a part of your family, you wouldn't want another cat. I've found over the years that you never stop loving the ones that have gone just because there are new ones who need love. And, as you say, there will be a little rescue cat out there who is desperately in need of the love you can give. It's a homage to Jackie that you feel this way.
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