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I think the sex of the new kitty is not so much important. It's the personality.
This year i introduced a one year old to two 15 year olds.
The one year old's personality is soft and is not aggressive. in other words he backs off rather then fight.
I bought him home and showed him to the other cats for a couple of minutes while he was in his carrier.
Then i took him up stairs, where he remained there for 3 days getting to know all the bedrooms and bathroom. I would bring him down for the next 2 nights the same in his carrier and then on the 4th night i opened the carrier for about 30 minutes so he could have a walk around the lounge with the other cats.
There was a small amount of hissing from the two older cats but from then on i just let them sort it out and they were fine.
I also took him outside on an harness for a couple of weeks to get to know the garden.
After a month he was fine.
So introduce them slowly and you should not get any probs.

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thanks for that hun it was really good info - ben is a big softy at heart, he had a brother that lived with us for a while so i know he can be good with other cats, but i guess its just a matter of the new kitty being the same ? thanks for that info

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you are very welcome.
Let us know how you get on.
Also don,t forget the pics

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